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TWO GRAY TOURISTS
From Papers of Mr. Philemoe Perch.
— EDITED BY-
RICHARD MALCOLM JOHNSTON,
Author of "Old Mark Langston," "Dukesborough
<\*
** His travel has not stopped him
As you suppose, nor altered any freedom,
But made him far more clear and excellent.
—Queen of Corinth.
new yobk :
P. J. KENEDY,
ExcEiiSion Catholic Publishing Homo,
5 Babciay Stbeet,
1893.
*
J) c\ vq
PREFACE.
This work contains an account, written by Mr.
Philemon Perch, of a brief tour, made by himself
together with his friend, Major James Rawls, both
natives of the State of Georgia (the latter yet resident
therein), in England, Scotland, Belgium, the Rhine-
region, Switzerland, and France. They are dear
friends, and have been for more than forty years,
though, in some respects, quite dissimilar. Mr.
Perch, a student, tall and slender, is sentimental,
often absent-minded, and perhaps too fond of anti-
quarian research. Major Rawls, a planter, stout,
rather below middle height, is practical, entirely
modern, energetic, and, on occasion, somewhat pug-
nacious. This is a record of the sights these tourists
saw together, and the impressions made upon them.
I found, on reading the manuscript, that their dis-
cussions upon several subjects of former and present
interest had brought forth many observations upon
the classical, mediaeval, and modern conditions of
some of the scenes through which they passed.
To my proposal to publish, Mr. Perch assented
more readily, because of a habit of printing his
thoughts. Major Rawls, perhaps,would have preferred
to keep out of print, but for his affection for his
(3)
IV PREFACE.
friend, and, partly, the urgent entreaties of his
youngest son, Jake. Moreover, he argued (with
himself), that among his numerous friends and
acquaintances, he had been questioned about this
journey some two thousand times, more or less, and
he wondered whether it might not be about as well to
let Phil (as he calls him) tell what there was in it,
and so leave himself to have something else to talk
about. He has not seen what is herein written ; but
he was ready to conclude that if Mr. Perch could
stand it he might also.
Acting on such consent, I submit these papers,
hoping that whoever reads them may have some
measure of the entertainment that I have had in
editing. R. M. J.
TABLE OF COHTEHTS.
PAGE.
CHAPTER I.
Major Rawls' Proposal; Misgivings; A Timely Comforter;
The Departure 1
CHAPTER II.
The Gallia ; Miscalculations of Mr. Minton about Meat and
Greens ; A Contagion ; Champagne and Crackers ; The
Fog-Horn; Partial Eclipses of Honeymoons. . . 9
CHAPTER III.
A Lesson from the Liverpool Docks ; An Unexpected Host ;
The Proprietor of the Adelphi; Chester; Completing
the Circle ; Advice to the Dean 23
CHAPTER IV.
English Railroads; The Question of Water; Shrewsbury
Clock; Boscobel; Kings, especially Queens; Birming-
ham . . .38
CHAPTER V.
Leamington ; Stoneleigh ; Rabbits' Evening Hop ; Kenil-
worth ; "The King's Head " of Coventry; The Thread
of Ariadne ; St. Michael's ; Lady Godiva. . .48
CHAPTER VI.
Guy's Cliffe ; Warwick Castle ; Sideboards, Bowls and Pots ;
Charlecote ; The Red Horse ; Two Kinds of Roses ; Ma-
ternal Prophesyings ; Curse of Venus. . . .62
(5)
VI CCXNTEHTS.
PAGE.
CHAPTER VII.
Sunday Morning in the Country ; Randolph of Oxford ; St.
Mary's ; Tom; Old Shoes Preferred ; Tomb of the Fair
Rosamond ; Godstowe ; The Queen at Home. . . 75
CHAPTER VIII.
The Langham ; Decline of Barmaids ; Ages of the Old Mas-
ters ; Queen Eleanour's Pall-bearers ; Removal of Poetry
from Chester Walls to Whitehall; Westminster ; Achilles
and the Grasshopper 83
CHAPTER IX.
Room for the Dead ; St. James' and Green Parks ; Accident
to the Poet Rogers ; Rotten Row and the Ring ; Ken-
sington ; A Sensible Widow ; The Argyle. . . ,93
CHAPTER X.
Henrietta Maria ; Literary Revolution ; Temple Bar and the
Fleet ; Goldsmith and Johnson ; The Roses ; St. Bride's ;
The Nosegay of St. Sepulchre's ; St. Paul's ; The Tower ;
Raleigh's History 106
CHAPTER XI.
John's Tower at Windsor ; Joanna Beaufort ; Heme's Oak;
The Warmest Dress a Man Can Wear ; Kew Gardens
and Emily ; The Star and Garter; Riches and Poverty ;
Assault with a Case Knife; Horace Walpole ; Pope's
Grotto ; Hampton Court ; From Kew to Westminster
Bridge ; London Charities 119
CHAPTER XII.
Queen Boadicea and Silanus; Mr. Flynt of Yorkshire;
Robin and Kirksley Hall ; The Black Swan ; Bishops-
thorpe ; Yorkminster ; Severus and Julia Domna ; Con-
stantine the Great ; Marriage Lotteries ; Pons Aelii of
Hadrian; Bede and Saint Cuthbert; Holy Well of
Jesus; The Cheviots and the Lothians. . . .137
CONTENTS. Vll
CHAPTER XIII.
Holyrood ; Heart of Midlothian; Castle ; Stirling ; The
Bag-pipes ; The Stag-Hunt ; Familiar Whiskey Music ;
Loch Katrine ; Scotch Bens ; Rob Roy ; Dunbarton ;
Glasgow ; Kirkconnel lee ; Ayrshire : The Duke of Port-
land ; Dumfries ; The Claymore and Basket-making ;
Gretna-Green; Carlisle. . ... . .151
CHAPTER XIV.
Assault upon Mr. Rawls ; Antwerp ; Brussels ; Waterloo ;
Lou vain ; Aix-la-Chapelle ; Speculations on the Dom,
on Going to Meeting and on Smells; Discharging a
Touter ; Oppidum Ubiorum. ..... 175
CHAPTER XV.
The Rhine ; Bonn ; Legend of Roland seek ; Coblentz ; The
Pfalz ; The Rhinegau ; Mayence ; A Bottle of Johannis-
berger ; Darmstadt ; June Bugs ; Heidelberg ; The Black
Forest ; Harvesting. . . ... . . . 192
CHAPTER XVI.
Baden-Baden ; Bee Raising in Germany ; Convent of Lich-
tenstein ; Strassburg ; Consule Planco ; A Cure for
Love; "The Three Kings;''' Lucerne; Lion of Thor-
waldsen ; The Righi ; The Brunig ; Brienz. . . . 203
CHAPTER XVII.
Interlachen ; The Jungfrau ; No^el Travelling ; Getting up
an Avalanche ; Angels' Songs ; Grindenwald ; Chamois ;
St. Beatus ; Thun ; Geneva ; Orgetorix ; None of Your
Pontoons 214
CHAPTER XVIII.
Lake Leman ; Chillon ; Josephine ; Temperance-Laws ; The
Diligence ; A Gentle Caution ; Chamouni ; Mer de Glace ;
Caballinium and Dumnorix ; Dijon ; The Senones Gauls. 227
nu CONTENTS.
CHAPTER XIX.
Place de la Concorde; Champs Elysees; Strange Sunday
Doings ; The Madeleine ; Faubourg St. Antoine ; Pere
Lachaise; Notre Dame ; Hotel Cluny ; Julian the Apos-
tate ; Old Col. Blackford ; Hotel des Invalides ; Champ
de Mars ; Bois de Boulogne 240
CHAPTER XX.
The Luxembourg ; Delaroach's Death of Elizabeth ;
The Louvre; Palais Royal; The Bourse; St. Cloud;
Versailles ; Convention of Dogs ; French Charities ;
Rouen ; Uncertainty about Dinner ; Three Cups of Coffee
and an Exordium. ....... 250
CHAPTER XXI.
Tring ; Nell Gwynne ; Weedon ; The Mercians ; Via Vitel-
liana; Rugby; The Difficulty with School-masters;
Something Better than English Lakes; Emigrants'
Amusements ; The Pilot Boat ; The New York Herald;
Wants; Retrospection; Adieux 264
TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
CHAPTER I,
T was a matter of some surprise to me one day
to get a letter from my old friend, Jim Kawls,
of Todd's Mill, Georgia, proposing that he and
I should make a voyage to Europe together.
"When I was younger and more prosperous,! had often
dreamed, and so had Jim sometimes, of a brief tour in
the Old World, and we had been hindered first by one
and then another obstacle: dread of the great waters,
reluctance to put ourselves at so vast distance from home,
business engagements, and so forth. Years passed, the
war came, bringing what it brought, and leaving what
it left. Not that it left Jim in as sad condition as that
of most others in his section. He yet had a good plan-
tation, with grist and saw mills, some State bonds and
railroad stocks, with several of his neighbors as debtors.
With the last he made generous compositions, and went
to work with renewed vigor. One of his sons had died
while serving in the army. This hurt him sorely; for
the boy was very promising. But his two others had
come through unscathed in health and character, and
little Jake was born some years afterwards. There were
2 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
two married daughters, and one single. Above them all
was his wife, once Miss Emily Todd, whom he has
always believed, and most probably always will believe
to be, the finest woman in Georgia. His former slaves,
or the most of them, have remained with him, and mat-
ters at his home look very much as in old times.
Yet his health of late had declined somewhat. He
always would cry a little whenever the war was men-
tioned, and he thought of his boy. His family feared
he had been yielding too frequently to that regret,
and they persuaded him to take a sea voyage. Singu-
larly enough, I had been entertaining a similar notion-
occasionally throughout the winter. His consent to go
was conditioned upon my accompanying him ; and cer-
tainly I could not have desired a more fit companion in
travel than my old friend of forty-five years and upwards.
For Jim Eawls is as true a man as I ever knew. Al-
though he had never taken eagerly to books while at
school, yet, after growing up, he has read extensively,
especially on history, agriculture, and mechanics, and
is right familiar with Shakspeare, the only poet he
cares much about. He is brave, even inclining to
pugnacity, but thoroughly generous and good humored.
From the letter he wrote to me, I saw that, in spite of
some loss of health and spirit, not nigh all the old fund
of good humor had left him.
" The truth is, Phil, if you and I are ever to see the
old country, it's got to be soon. It won't be long before
it will be slow travelling for you and me. And then
both of us are rusty ; you not so much as I am, but you
ain't bright like you used to be when you were young.
I told Emily so the last time you were here ; and then
Emily laughed and said that Bob Dudley's wife told her
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 3
that you had said exactly the same thing about me.
Now a little travel, if we can make the trip, and get
back all safe, will do us both good, freshen us up a
little, make our folks think a little more of us, and,
may be, even feel a little proud of us. Think on it,
and think fast. If you'll go, I will. If you won't,
I won't. But let us try and make the trip, and have
a little bit of fun together one more time, and have
something to talk about instead of hanging on to what
we've talked out heretofore."
And yet, after we had agreed, the undertaking
seemed to us both, especially to me, so vast and perilous,
that I doubt if we should'nt have retreated but for the
urgent persuasions of our friends and the fear of being
considered as having too much levity for men of our
age. Jim had the advantage over me of having been
the first to take leave and break off from home. Besides,
he was always a man of more resolute purpose than
myself, and could do, thoroughly and without hesita-
tion, whatever he had once made up his mind to. By
the time he had reached my residence, he had the talk
and the air of a man who had travelled considerably
already. I caught as much of his infection as I could,
and when the young people, in obedience to his request,
brought out from the piles of old forgotten songs, "A
Life on the Ocean Wave," and he pretended to keep
time to the music, if I had been even more soft than I
was already, I should have been forced to laugh heartily.
" Phil, my boy, we shall soon be laying our hands on
old ocean's mane, and playing familiar with his hoary
locks, as the ancient writers used to say."
l( "What do you suppose Byron meant by that sort of
talk, Jim?"
4 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
" I never had the slightest idea; but it sounds plucky.
Still, if old ocean will take us over and bring us back
again safe and sound, I shan't meddle with his locks
nor anything else that belongs to him."
We reached New York on the day before the Gallia
was to sail. The interval we spent, for the most part,
in our chamber, talking together with what spirit we
could command, and writing repeated farewells to those
at home. "We boarded at the St. Nicholas. Once, while
he was writing to Jake, I saw Jim brush a tear from his
eye. How the sight touched me ! He noticed it, and
at once rose and rung the bell.
" Bring us up," he said to the servant, " two good, big,
stiff juleps, with a plenty of mint, and everything else
in 'em."
Upon my word. I doubt if I ever knew a circum-
stance, so inconsiderable in itself, to exert a more speedy,
and sustaining, and even elevating influence upon per-
sons at our time of life. Jim said it reminded him of
home in a pleasant way ; no sadness about it. He had
had no idea that they could make such juleps so far
north. We occupied the same chamber — for that was
one of the items in our plans.
"The truth is, Phil, we are going a long way farther
from home than we've ever been before, and we must
stick together. I never was a man to be afraid much of
robbers and pickpockets in this country. But when a
fellow is about five or six thousand miles from home,
and among outlandish people, its another sort of thing
altogether."
"All right; but you somewhat exaggerate the distance,
Jim."
" Oh, well, a few miles more or less don't make much
difference when we are on as big figures as we are now."
TWO GEAY TOUEISTS. Sf
He had always been a good provider. Although wC
had determined to take no trunks along wUh us, so as
to avoid their incumbrance and the dela}'S thej might
cause at railway stations, yet it was interesting to notice
how many articles of necessity and convenience he had
managed to get into his valise and bag. The most of
these he brought with him from home. Yet here, he
was frequently going out and returning with some new
article he had purchased. At one time it was a couple
of small phials of paregoric ; for he always got two of
every item : one for himself, and one for me. At another,
it would be a couple of pipes and packages of tobacco
or cigars. About ten minutes before we were to leave
the hotel, he ran out suddenly, and, returning with two
additional combs, handed one to me. I was leaning on
the office counter, talking with one of the men.
" Why, what upon earth did you get them for, Jim ?
We had them already."
" Never do you mind. Do you put it in your valise.
You're going among strange people, and you don't know
what all you'll need.
And while he was unlocking his valise and wedging
in the comb, he looked up at the man, and asked :
"Ain't that so, mister ? "
" No doubt about that," he answered, with a smile.
" That's a very useful article to take along. I wonder
more people don't do it."
We shook hands with him the more cordially, because
he had been very civil to us, and this was to be our last
hand-shaking on the eve of a long voyage. Jim held
his hand a moment or two, and, with tears in his eyes,
said:
"Good-bye, mister. You've treated us civilly since
1*
6 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
we've been here, and I'm much obliged to yon. If yon
hear of anything happening to ns while we're gone, I
hope you'll write to my wife. You'll see there, on your
book, where to direct your letter; and if I get back
safe, as please God I hope to do, and you ever come to
Georgia I want you to come right straight to my house."
The man thanked him, and promised to write, if neces-
sary. But he protested that it would be all right.
Never so safe, you know, as when on a Cunard steamer.
"Yes, yes. Oh, yes. Thank ye; good-bye; God
bless you."
And we got into the omnibus.
Arrived at the wharf in Jersey City, we went imme-
diately on board and were led to our state-room. It was
about amidships, on the lower tier, opening upon an
alcove of four or five feet, which, separating ours from
another state-room, led into the lower saloon. Because
I suggested that, being the stouter man of the two, he
should take the lower berth, Jim at once insisted, as
being the stronger and more active, upon going up
stairs, as he styled taking the upper. We compromised
by agreeing to alternate, according to circumstances.
He at once went to work arranging things. Every arti-
cle of mine he moved, evidently to advantage, from the
place where I had placed it, and I was delighted to see
how snugly we were fixed when he had finished. Then
he took from his pocket several pieces of English silver
money, held them in one open hand, and laying his
finger on one after another, he asked of our steward :
"What's that?"
"Two shillins, sir."
"And that?"
" 'Arf a crown, sir."
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 7
"A what?"
" 'Arf a crown, sir."
Jim hesitated.
" You mean half, don't you ? "
" Yes, sir ; 'arf, 'arf a crown."
"And this big fellow?"
"A crown, sir."
"Then, by good rights, its worth, or ought to be
twice as much as the little one."
" H'oh yes, sir ; two 'arves make a 'ole one, you know,
sir."
" I suppose they do among you English. Well, now,
which is the most, the two shillings or the 'arf a crown ? "
" H'oh, the arf a crown, sir. Sixpens' the most."
" Well, now, here's two of these 'arf a crowns to begin
with ."
But I put my hand on Jim's shoulder, and insisted
that such as that must not go on, and gave the steward
my own money. He put one of his pieces into hi3 pocket,
protesting that I was mighty particular. Besides,
being one of the most liberal men, and with pecuniary
means much greater than my own, I had suspected that
somehow he had considered himself partially responsible
for my undertaking an expense which he knew I could
not very well afford, and that he ought to lessen it as far
as he could with my allowance. But he respected my
feelings, and generally let me have my own way.
Having arranged our state-room satisfactorily, we went
ashore in order to purchase our deck-chairs. Jim lis-
tened politely to what each vender had to say, and then
from the stock of the one who seemed the most needy,
made his selection.
"Let me have the key to your valise," he said, when
we were on board again.
8 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
"What for?"
"I've a few useful little things in my pocket that I'm
afraid I have'nt room for in mine."
He took my key, and returning shortly afterwards
from the state-room, said :
" If you ain't a traveller, I don't know one. Your
things are upside down already. I see I'll have to look
after you, young man."
I found afterwards that he had put into the valise
needles, thread, and at least a gross of buttons of
assorted sizes.
" I hope we have'nt forgotten anything, Phil."
" I have no fears on that score."
"You? No, I suppose not."
We were much interested in the scenes that were
around us, the busy stirring of our fellow-passengers,
the merry chattings of some, the sad words of others.
There were smiles and tears. At last the anchor was
lifted, the bell rang, those who had come to witness the
departure descended from the deck, the gangway was
taken off, Captain Moodie, with hand uplifted, gave the
signal, the bell rang, and we were tugged slowly away.
"Good-bye, good-bye," was sounded many times from
hundreds of tongues. " Good-bye ! " joined in Jim, with
trembling, but hearty voice. And so he joined in the
waving of hats and handkerchiefs when the voices were
no longer audible; and though he did not know a single
soul, I noticed that he was the last to make these mute
farewells.
"Phil," said he, putting his handkerchief into his
pocket, "these northern people are friendlier than I
thought."
CHAPTER II,
GOOD, brave ship is the Gallia, and Captain
Moodie as good looking and gallant a com-
mander as any reasonable voyager might desire.
Jim said that it made him feel stiffer in the
back while, looking into his ruddy face, he heard him
say that he had crossed the Atlantic more than one
hundred times. The drawback, however, Jim argued,
was in the reflection that if such luck was ever to change
it was now about the time Yet we both felt our greatest
sense of security in reliance upon the protection of the
Almighty, who, whatever He did, would do what was
best and mercifullest.
To those whose minds were not preoccupied, it was a
fair sight, that New York Bay, as we glided smoothly
over its surface. But our thoughts were of our homes ;
and already these seemed becoming more and more im-
measureably distant.
" We are in for it now, Phil, sure enough," said Jim,
in a tone of half humorous, half sad resignation, as the
pilot left us and we steamed off again. " Now let's sit
down and take a good, civil smoke."
" No, let's wait," said I. " It's now half-past eleven,
and lunch is at twelve."
" You don't mean dinner ? "
" Of course not ; dinner is at four. They have five
meals a day here."
10 TWO OKAY TOURISTS,
'•The mischief you say."
"Certainly; breakfast at eight, lunch at twelve, din-
ner at four, tea at seven, and supper at nine."
" Well now, that's what I call good, fair, liberal board.
Five meals a day sounds well."
He was fond of good eating, was Jim, and he always
had it at home, although, as was and is the old Georgia
country custom, he had dinner at a little past noon and
only three meals a day,
" You see, Phil, if we ain't always hungry at meal
times it is a good way to pass off the time, especially
when a fellow is away from home. For no matter how
he feels, there is something cheerful in all sitting down
to table and hearing the rattle of knives and forks and
plates. Even when I don't feel like eating myself — and
that's mighty seldom — I love to see other people eat, and
hear 'em talk while they are eating. Yes, sir, that's
good; I'm glad to hear that."
His brightness served to relieve much of my own
gloom, and when the eight bells sounded we were quite
ready for lunch. Our seats were near the stern. Jim
said he liked that because it gave us a better view of the
saloon.
" I don't know so well about that, Jim/' said I, " for
in rough weather the pitch will be greater here."
" Why you don't expect to get sea-sick ? I don't I
ain't quite what I used to be in some things, but my
stomach is as sound as a dollar."
I said nothing more.
"I tell you they don't spare expense on these ships.
Why here's a regular dinner, Phil, except hot meats.
We must'nt eat too much lunch or we may get into the
same case for dinner as Bob Minton got in for his pie."
-What was that?"
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 11
" Boh said that one day when he was a littlb boy and
his mother had company for dinner, she said to the
children, as they were stting down to table, that the one
who ate the most meat and greens should have the most
pie. In his eagerness to beat his brother Sam, Bob ate
so much meat and greens that he had no room for any
pie. He always said, Bob did, that cf all the calcula-
lations he ever did make, that was the foolishest. What
made it worse was, that Sam laughed at him until he
cried, and hit Sam with a potato^ when his mother gave
him a whipping. Bob says he had always had a disgust
for meat and greens just by themselves since that day.
He said also, that though he always had been and always
expected to be a poor man, he intended to have some
sort of desert, as he called it, every day, even when he
can't have anything but corn bread and molasse3."
By this time, though the weather was fine, yet the roll
of the sea was much more considerable than we had
expected.
" My gracious ! " said Tim, " don't she put up ? "
But he ate his prunes with a relish; and smiting his
breast proudly with his open hands, said that all was
right there. As we went out of the saloon and through
the passage between the upper berths, several ladies,
looking quite pale, entered them in considerable haste,
and we heard some suspicious sounds.
" Poor things ! " said Jim ; " got it already. You see,
Phil, women's stomachs ain't strong like men's anyhow.
Then they take so little exercise that, in fact, they ain't
fit to travel on water. Well, I'm sorry for 'em. Do you
know, Phil, that there's two couples here?"
" Two couples ? Couples of what ? "
" Two couples just married,"
12 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
" How did you find out ? "
" I knew it from their actions ; for one couple behaved
as if they were especially anxious that nobody should
find out that they were just married, and the other that
they should. Well, it does seem to me that this is about
the last place I should choose for my honeymoon, if I
had that time to go over again. But people ain't all
alike, I suppose. These northern people have a plenty of
money, and they have to find various ways of spending
it. Will you have a light ? "
He drew a cigar, and puffed away delightedly.
We had placed our chairs near the mizzenmast, and
not far from the captain's room. The latter came out
where we were, when Jim rose and offered him his chair
and a cigar. The chair was declined, and the cigar
accepted politely.
" If you like that cigar, captain, we have a plenty, and
will be glad if you will help us smoke them on the way,
as they tell us we can't carry 'em into your country."
"Ay, ay. I guess they won't be very particular about
a few cigars, especially with such gentlemen as you are."
"You think that?"
" Oh, ay."
"And, captain, I have some first-rate brandy in my
valise. If you feel a little — unwell any time or — any
wise — or disposed — "
"Oh, thanks! but I never take anything to drink
when on the passage."
" The mischief you don't."
"Never; yet I'm much obliged by your kindness.
This is a fine cigar."
" Glad you like it ; have another ? "
" Thanks ; not just now."
TWO GItAY TOURISTS. 13
" Everything looks very pleasant here, captain."
"Oh, ay. The June passage, you know, is always
considered delightful. Will you be sea-sick ? "
"Not the slightest idea of it. The June passage,
you say, is a favorite one, is it captain ? I'm glad we
took it then, Phil. A clever fellow that captain is," he
continued, as the latter walked away, "and a friendly
fellow. From his jolly red face, I thought sure he must
take at least one good drink a day. I knew he would
like that cigar. I can't quite afford such as these at
home; but I mean to enjoy myself as well as I can
while I'm in for it. Emily said she wanted me to enjoy
myself just as much as I could, and I'm going to do it."
His native heartiness and his facility to adapt himself
to different circumstances led him soon to find perfect
ease in the strange condition, and impart it to me. "We
walked about the deck, watched the in-coming and out-
going vessels we met and passed, or sat in our chairs
and chatted and smoked. The seven bells struck half-
past three.
" I don't feel as much like eating, Phil, as I thought
I would. I left off hungry at the lunch, so as not to
get into Bob Minton's fix, and thought I should feel
keen for dinner. That last cigar is the only poor one
I've got out of the box."
At dinner we were getting along with reasonable rel-
ish. With a stiff westerly breeze, we were making about
thirteen knots an hour, and the Gallia was bounding
along in her-old-fashioned way. Once or twice, even
while we were taking our soup, I noticed that Jim, as
we would descend with the sweep of the stern, turned a
little pale, and, laying down his spoon, pressed his knees
firmly against the legs of the liable, and uttered a
14 TWO GEAY TOURISTS.
smothered ejaculation of " Good gracious," but looked
at me very sympathizingly. When I said I thought I
would go up stairs for a moment, he smiled dismally,
but said nothing, and looked doubtfully at the meats as
they were being brought in. I ascended the stairs,
made for my chair, and put myself in as horizontal re-
lation with it as possible. Eive minutes afterwards,
hearing behind me melancholy sounds, I turned, and
Jim was holding to a rope, leaning over the side of the
vessel and apparently complaining to somebody beneath.
A sense of duty prompted me to rise and go to his
assistance; but I could get no further than the rope
next the one he had.
"Jim," I asked. "Are you " But my own at-
tention was also drawn to the objects beneath.
" Yesh. Oh, yesh. Oh, my goodness gracious ! Oh,
hello ! What mat — Pill. You shick, too ? Oh, yesh.
Never spect — oh goodness gra — Never felt — so — life
before. What— do— Pill ? "
Disjointed as were his words, they were better than I
could have employed. So I kept silent, at least of all
articulate expression. Jim stood as long as he could ;
but he sank at last, and was in the attitude of a man at
his prayers, except that his jaw was laid upon the rail
in the few intervals of its rest.
Whoever has suffered from sea-sickness remembers it
without description, and whoever has not so suffered
would find no description adequate. There is no foul
odor, real or conceivable, that does not enter or seem to
enter the nostrils of a sea-sick man ; no species of bitter,
poisonous herb, of filthy, venomous reptile, that he
does not feel to have eaten, and now to be destined to
die therefrom. Added to these are the mental anguish,
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 15
the sense of profoundest degradation for having deserted
one's home, and family, and country, and being pursued
as a deserter, and caught, and punished in the most
humiliating and disgusting of all ways, the gradual
exhaustion of life by body-and-soul sickness, and after-
wards thrown out, worthless even for such a purpose, to
the monsters of the deep. In sleep — for it is wonderful
how much a man can sleep in such a time, his thoughts
and feelings get no relief. Perhaps they are then more
horrible, for then the imagination is wholly unrestrained
by reason, and these horrible things seem real.
My friend suffered longer than I did, and, I think,
more grievously. By morning I could creep upon the
deck, while he could not be brought up until near
sunset, and then had to be laid flat upon his back. He
had been so ill that he was not aware how much I had
suffered, and he afterwards made me promise not to tell
all he had said to me in the messages which he sent to
his wife. Not that his breast was not as clean of wrong-
doing as that of any husband and father in this or any
other country. But he had so magnified his little infir-
mities, and especially the great crime of going off, and
as it were, running away from his family, that were I to
repeat, except to them, the terms which he repeatedly
employed, he might, and justly, be hurt. Besides, such
had been my own feelings, that, had he been in condition
to listen and sympathize, I doubtless would not have
varied far in the language I had employed with him.
But the getting well again. That was simply glorious.
I desire to see, not often, a more serene and pleasant
sight than when I would look at Jim Eawls two days
afterwardr. as he leaned far back in his chair, his appe-
tite promising more and more assuringly to come back,
16 TWO GEAY TOURISTS.
and himself, while with sweet resignation, calmly saying
he had no stomach at all — none whatever, yet slowly chew-
ing delicate little morsels, and helping them down with
sips of iced champagne. While he would divide most
fairly, yet in the very last pouring he would linger in
holding the bottle's mouth down over his goblet, and,
imperceptibly to himself, give it a shake, and even a
little squeeze, for the last and a possibly one drop more.
That man will tell you to-day, if you were at his house
in Georgia, that the most speedy, effectual and pleasant
remedy for sea-sickness is champagne wine. It was,
indeed, more delightful to notice in him than to feel
within myself the relish of the tranquil happiness of
convalescence. How kindly he inquired of others as to
their sufferings ! How fond he was to answer them at
length. The sympathy he felt was rendered to him
abundantly, as he would prolong the accounts he gave
of his sufferings, innocently exaggerate them, and be
reluctant to admit how fast he was getting well again.
He had already made many acquaintances, and was on
familiar terms with them. At lunch hour, on the third'
day out, when he had finished with his champagne and
crackers, while half a dozen gentlemen were around him,
he thus let himself out :
"Yes, gentlemen, I've been through what I never
expected for this world, and even now I wonder that I
ever got through and came out a live man and in my
senses. My opinion on the subject of sea-sickness is,
that it ain't a question of stomach. My stomach is as
sound as anybody's. It's a — well, you may call it a sort of
a — epidemic on some people — or, like mumps or measles,
which everybody has to have one time, provided if he
goes where the cussed things are. Oh, you northern
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 17
people, you may laugh, but it's so. You all are used
to such things. You live close to the water anyhow,
and you get used to the smelling of it and traveling and
meandering about over it. The case is very different
with us down in Georgia, where the water, what there
is of it, is fresh, and everybody has a plenty of fresh air.
It ain't a question of stomach. My stomach's as sound
as a roach."
"But we thought you had been very sick at the
stomach."
"Of course I have; but I tell you it came on like
mumps or the measels, and, just like them, the older a
fellow gets the worse they get Mm. Sick at the stomach ?
Yes, indeed ! Gentlemen, my opinion is, that since the
creation of the world no ???£m-person ever had such a
sick stomach. I don't say women, for I know that's the
nature of some women ; but if any poor woman ever had
such a stomach as I had for twenty-four hours, I pity her.
Look here ; would you like to know some, just only a
few things, I conceited that I had in my stomach ? "
Of course they would, and I never heard more hearty
responses as, in the intervals of their laughter, he
recounted :
" Toad frogs ! "
"Tadpoles!"
"Peavines!"
" Old rotten fodder-blades ! "
" Brass knobs ! The reason I knew they were brass
was, I smelt 'em ! "
" Watermelon rinds ! "
" Grub-worms ! "
"Dish-water!"
" Scaly-bark lizards ! "
2*
18 TWO GEAY TOURISTS.
" Vinegar a thousand years old ! "
" Stumps of mean cigars ! "
" Old roosters, that died of the cholera ! "
"And, what you northern people know mighty little
about, little niggers, all greased up with pot liquor ! "
How they did roar ! A crowd of twenty or thirty gen-
tlemen by this time had gathered around him, and
several ladies, who were standing a little way off, actually
cried with laughter.
"These,'' he wound up, "and many more besides, too
tedious to mention, seemed to be in me and tangled and
squirming among one another, not only in my stomach,
but in my very brains. Why, gentlemen, it seemed to
me that an old brass hoop was around my head, fastened
on with a glue of some sort made out of every old, mean
liquor in the world, that was everlastingly a melting
and running down on my face, and the more it melted
the tighter the hoop held on. The fact is, my mind
was worse off than my stomach. If I ever stole any-
thing from anybody I don't remember it, except it might
be a few apples or a watermelon or two when I was a
boy just for fun and mischief; but I tell you — no, I
can't talk about my mind. But I hope as long as I live
(and I don't think I shaV) that I'll ever feel in my mind
like I did then. My old friend here says he was about
as bad off as I was, but I've no idea of any such thing.
If he had been, he would'nt be a live man now, certain
sure. Yes, gentlemen, I've been very bad off, and I'm
far from being a well man yet."
He drew a long breath that was meant to be mournful,
but it deceived nobody.
Having recovered entirely from sea-sickness, we came
to thoroughly enjoy our new experience. The sight
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 19
of the good which the travel and even the sea-sickness
were imparting, made us glad that we had made the
voyage. Jim, especially, with his old heart fresh as
ever, relished fully the life peculiar to a sea voyage —
watching the seamen at their work, and especially at
their leisure, studying the ropes and machinery, playing
at shuffle-board, sitting at those five meals in which he
kept his vow to make up for lost time, talking with the
passengers, and listening to them talking about the vari-
ous sections in which they resided and their avocations.
One night, however, he became considerably disturbed.
He was a sound sleeper always, and by this time was
able to rest as well as if he had been home. Late in this
particular night, while I happened to be awake and he
was snoring well, the whistle suddenly sounded. It
awakened him, and I heard him start up. In another
minute the sound was repeated, when he immediately
sprang from the berth, and going to the lounge put his
eyes to the glass over the port-hole.
"Phil," said he.
"Hello."
"Sleep?"
"No."
"Did you hear that?"
"Yes."
"What do suppose is the matter?"
" We are in the fog."
"The fog?"
' Certainly, the fog."
"Are you awake, Phil ? "
-I am."
"Well, what do you mean by being in the fog?"
" I mean what I say. We are on the Banks."
20 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
"What banks?"
" The Banks of Newfoundland. I heard the Captain
say to-day that we would get on them to-night, and he
thought the fog might be thicker than common."
" But what are they blowing the whistle for ? "
" In order to avoid collision with other ships."
" Why don't they hold up till morning ? "
" They could'nt see any further then than they can
now."
"What?"
"Fact."
" Well, why don't they go slower, then ? "
" Because self-preservation is the first law of nature."
" Phil, I do believe you are asleep. Wake up."
" I am awake."
" What's that you said just now ? "
" That self-preservation was the first law of nature.
If we go slowly, and another ship pitches into us, we
are split in two. If she comes slowly, and we pitch
into her, she goes up — or rather down."
" I do believe that fellow is asleep."
The whistle kept sounding at regular intervals.
"Phil."
"Hello, Jim."
" Is that so ? In point of fact ? "
" Certainly ; and the whistle blows in order to warn
any vessel that may be in hearing to get off the track."
" But suppose it was to whistle, too, and so go to
warning us f "
" Why, then, we would turn one way and she another,
and so we would pass."
"But suppose it was a sailing vessel, and had no
whistle."
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 21
" It would blow its fog-horn."
"Its what?"
"Its fog-horn."
" Good gracious me ! The idea of a fellow going about
in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean such a night as
this blowing a horn. Do you think there's much
danger ? "
" Oh, no. Collisions very seldom occur. The chances
are thousands to one against."
" Do you suppose the captain is up ? "
" No doubt of that ; he is on the bridge."
" How do you know ? "
"Because that's a rule of the service."
"A good rule."
He returned to his berth. Shortly afterwards, he
called :
"Phil."
"Hello?"
" How big is a fog-horn ? How far do you suppose a
fellow could hear one of 'em ? "
" I don't know ; but, I suppose, about a mile."
"A fog-horn!" he muttered, as he turned with his
face to the wall, " I've heard of many kind of a horn,
but never before now have I heard of a fog-horn."
Shortly afterwards he called again :
"Phil."
"Yes, Jim."
" Why don't you go to sleep ? "
" That whistle and you together won't let me. If one
of you would stop, I think I could."
He said not another word, and was soon asleep.
We were both surprised that so few ships were visible
during the passage, as well as the inhabitants of the
2'1 TWO OKAY TOURISTS.
sea. Jim was particularly disappointed in the matter
of the last. He had been, he said, always desirous of
seeing a whale, and he suggested that owing to the
quantities that had been taken heretofore the breed
probably was thinning out. Many of the passengers
left us at Queenstown, among them the two young mar-
ried couples.
"A poor time they've had of it, I think, Phil."
"How so?"
"Why one of the fellows' wife has been sick nearly
half the way, and the other woman's husband has been
in the same fix, and when they got up, the other two
got down. It was like the fox, and the goose, and the
corn, all trying to cross over the river. One of the
couples don't seem to be well matched anyhow. That's
a beautiful girl with the yellow hair. That big-jawed
fellow is her husband. He is a rich pork merchant
from Ohio. Those jaws look as if they got to be so big
from calling hogs."
He had invited at least half the passengers to come to
see him in Georgia. Just before the arrival at Liver-
pool, he said to Captain Moodie :
" Well, captain, God bless you. You've done your duty
certain this trip. If you ever come to Georgia, captain,
and come to my house, if I don't treat you like a gen-
tleman, you may tie me, bring me back to the old Gallia,
and drop me in the biggest hole in the Atlantic Ocean."
"Any cigars or tobacco, sir?" asked the officer of
customs.
" No, sir," said Jim, " I never use tobacco except for
smoking, and I gave my last cigar five minutes ago to
the second mate. I should not wish, sir "
" Pass on gentlemen, please."
CHAPTER III,
N Liverpool : at the Adelphi Hotel. Looking
out, and seeing, and hearing men, women,
horses and wagons. Such odd-looking wagons,
too, and those funny-looking, round-bellied,
snug, little Welsh ponies, that seemed to know no other
gait than a trot. Not to be rocking about as we had
been for ten days. To see, for the first time, women
keeping a hotel, and good-looking, smart, educated
women at that. Those great big beds, so curiously can-
opied, with as much covering on them as if instead of
June it had been November. The various windings we
had to take in order to get to our chambers. To be
waited on by servants in livery. "When a pretty boy
with violet colored livery and brass buttons brought to
me the first things I ordered, I had feelings approaching
the aristocratic. The service was trifling, and I hesi-
tated whether I would offer him a sixpence; but he
received it with such cordiality that I was glad I did it.
It was three o'clock, and, feeling like eating, we made
known our wants, and were invited to the coffee-room.
" The coffee-room ? " said Jim.
"Yes, sir."
"Why, my dear friend, we want our dinner. We
don't want any coffee this time of day."
The boy smiled, and led us across the hall, and we
entered the large room which, to his deligbt, Jim found
(23)
24 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
to contain or to have the means of getting whatever the
hungriest and the daintiest might desire. A very portly
and elegantly-dressed man with steel-pen coat and white
vest and cravat met us at the door, and directed a waiter
to conduct us to a table.
" That's the proprietor," whispered Jim. " Don't he
look well fed ? And so they call a dining-room a coffee-
room over here. Likewise, they call a horse-car a tram-
way. We've got a heap to learn in the language, I see,
my friend. They've changed it a good deal since our
folks left this country."
Our sojourn in Liverpool was brief. My own pur-
suits and studies had always been of such kind that I
felt comparatively little interest in so new a city as Liv-
erpool, and I am almost ashamed to say that I saw little
more of the celebrated docks than what I could notice
from the ship as they lay for miles and miles on the
Mersey. But Jim had said that he would rather see
those docks than anything in England. He always had
had a turn for mechanics. His own mill-dam, of which
he was very proud, had been constructed under his im-
mediate supervision. While he was examining the
docks, I remained at the hotel, and with the map I had
purchased studied our routes. Before this, I had become
convinced that the pleasure and the benefits of each in
the other's companionship, instead of being impaired by
the diversity of our tastes and dispositions, were enhanced.
While Jim derived pleasure from studying the achieve-
ments of modern enterprise, and I was much more fond
than he in looking upon the relics of olden times, yet
this very difference served as a foil to divert the course
of each sometimes, when it might have led to observation
of things specially interesting to himself only, and at
other times it gave occasion to pleasant raillery.
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 25
On the second day after onr arrival, when Jim had
returned from his visit to the docks, full of admiration
for them and for the prodigious commerce of the city, I
listened to his ardent accounts of them with an interest
which I certainly had not felt in reading, and should have
not felt in personally inspecting them. I made a mistake,
however, when I began to admit that I did not at first
understand his eager and minute descriptions, for the
admission led him to make them yet more so, and I had
at last to assume an intelligence which I certainly did
not have, and, according as he was most enthusiastic in
his descriptions, I exhibited satisfactory attention. I
frankly admit now that I know little about the great
Liverpool docks; yet what I do no know of them I owe
to Jim Kawls
"Why, sir," said he, among many other things, "I
got an idea to-day for letting the water into my mill-
race and stopping it out that I would'nt grudge the
whole cost of this trip for. It's so perfectly simple that
I wonder it never occurred to me before."
And then he took my umbrella, both of our hats, and
some books that lay on the table in the smoking-room,
and he went on at such a rate that I had to say that it
was very simple and — indeed — decidedly first-rate.
" You see how it is, Phil, don't you ? "
" I think — I think I do. Let me see. The umbrella
is — the — oh — the — "
" The mill-race, of course."
"I thought so, because — it's the longest. Yes, yes,
that's the race. And now, let me see again. On reflec-
tion, I don't exactly remember whether it was your hat
or my hat that was the, ah — the — "
« The gate, man, the gate."
26 T W 0 GRA Y TOUEISTS.
" Oh ! Gate ! Certainly ; what was I thinking about ?
I understand now ; the gate."
44 The two gates."
i: Certainly; two gates. Of course, they've got to be
two gates, I should suppose."
" Of course ; else what in the dickence would come of
all the water ? "
Thus we went on for some time.
" Well, upon my word, Jim, I'm glad you went to
these docks. They are more interesting than I had any
notion of their being. And then, the valuable hints you
got from them."
I looked intently at the umbrella and the other arti-
cles, and tried to understand the hydraulic principles
they were meant to represent.
"Yes, yes, sir," I said, as soon as I could; "this
thing will be of service to you, Jim. I have no doubt.
I'm glad you went."
« Why, sir, I would'nt take five hundred dollars for it."
Late in the afternoon we took a long walk out on
Prince's Eoad, intending to visit the public park, and
were pleased to find that a city so mainly devoted to
commerce exhibited so many evidences of taste. Having
reached what we supposed was the park, we were sur-
prised to find the gates leading into it locked. Standing
at one of these, we were looking over upon the exquisite
landscape, when an elderly gentleman, who had been
sitting upon a rustic seat beneath a shade tree overhang-
ing the walk, rose, approached us, took out of his pocket
a key, and politely asked if we would enter. We accepted
promptly, remarking that, supposing the park was open
to the public, we had not provided ourselves with permits.
"Oh! the public park," he answered, smiling, "is
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 27
open to the public. That is further on. This park is
private, belonging to those of us who reside for some
distance along on this side of the street. I shall be
pleased to show you this, however, if you wish. I see
you are Americans."
"Ah?" we exclaimed, both well pleased.
" Oh, yes. We recognize Americans at once."
Jim evidently straightened himself yet more, but said
nothing. We wandered for half an hour amid one of
the loveliest landscapes I had ever beheld. Some young
persons of both sexes were rowing on a lake. Jim lin-
gered several moments looking silently at them, while
our guide and myself were slowly walking and discuss-
ing the various species of vegetation. We had, at length,
to call him away. I knew where his thoughts had been.
He sighed gently but not painfully, as he came up briskly.
It began to grow late, and having gone considerably
from the entrance, we proposed returning. The gentle-
man said he would lead us to a place of exit nearer
home. Winding about through other and continually
varying scenery, we came suddenly to the rear of a fine
mansion. We looked at him in astonishment.
" This is my residence, gentlemen. If you will do me
the honor to walk in, I will let you out this way."
We entered, through a veranda, a large dining-hall.
" But here," said our host, *' you must rest for a few
moments. You've had something of a walk."
While we were admiring the pictures on the walls;
and the stuffed birds of game in a large glass case on a
table in one corner, a servant brought in a bottle each
of sherry and port. Pledging in a glass apiece, we
parted from him at his front door, expressing his satis-
faction for having met us.
28 TWO GEAY TOUKISTS.
" Upon my word," said Jim, " a politer or a friendlier
old fellow I should seldom wish to see. Sensible, too.
That man knows whom to ask into his house, no matter
if they are strangers. Rich folks up along here, Phil,
to be able to haye private parks in a town of five or six
hundred thousand inhabitants. You may be sure of
that; and if you had seen those docks and that Exchange
you would'nt be surprised- Well, I don't mind a fellow
getting rich and enjoying his money if it don't make a
fool of him, and keep him from being civil." .
The next morning, as we were preparing to depart for
Chester, Jim, who, it was arranged between us, should
keep the accounts, went to the office and called for our
bill. One of the ladies answered, that she would make
it out and send it to the smoking-room. He looked at
her somewhat surprised, but politely retired.
" What can she mean by making out our bill ? I
never paid a tavern bill in that way. Can't they just
say what it is at once ? We've been here exactly two
" They don't charge by the day over here, Jim."
" How do they charge ? "
Just then a porter brought in the bill. Jim put on
his spectacles, looked at it awhile intently, frowned,
turned it upside down, looked at it that way, turned it
back, took off his spectacles, and handed the paper to me.
"I can't read half of it, and don't understand one
word of what I can make out. As nigh as I can come
at it, it's a regular old-fashioned sum in Daboll's Arith-
metic. What in the world these things are that you've
been getting, I can't tell. This English handwriting
and these figures are too much for me."
This he said in very low tones, so as. not to be over-
TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 29
heard by the porter, who had retired as far as the door and
was waiting to be called. I took the paper and showed
how the items had been set down separately for each
day, added, carried from the first to the second, and
footed.
" I see, I see. It is a regular old sum in compound
addition. What does it foot up? Oh, that's reason-
able. But what's that word ? "
"Apartments."
"Apartments ? What — does she mean ; rooms ? "
" Certainly."
" Why, we did'nt have but one."
" Yes, but you see the charge is right."
" I see, I see. I suppose it's just a general way of
calling them rooms. But what word is that ? "
"Attendance."
" Does that mean the waiters ? "
u I suppose so."
" Certainly, that's it ; but I wonder if they suppose any-
body who considers himself a gentleman would be will-
ing to go off without giving the waiters something ? I
never got that poor and that mean yet. I expect they've
had a heap of mean people to stop here, and it has made
'em put this item in their bills. I mean to give these
fellows something extra, for they've been very attentive."
He took the bill to the office himself, apologized for
having kept it so long, said it was very reasonable, paid
it, and bowed himself away. He then said that he was
going to the dining-room to hand James a couple of
shillings and take leave of the proprietor. The latter
he met at the door.
"I beg pardon, sir; but I was looking for the waiter.
I wanted to hand him a couple — "
3*
30 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
" Hi am the waiter, sir."
" You ! Ain't you the proprietor ? "
" H'oh no, sir. Hi am Daniel, the 'ead waiter."
" Gracious fathers ! I thought — "
He had a half crown piece in his hand. He looked
at it for a moment in confusion, thrust it back into his
pocket, and taking out several pieces of various sizes
put them into Daniel's hand and rushed away. It was
not until we had gotten into the cars at Lime Street
Station that he said :
" Phil, did you know that old fellow in the coffee-
room was a waiter ? "
"No. You said he was the proprietor. I thought
you knew. Yon are so ready to find out everything."
"I never asked a soul about him. I took it for
granted that he was the proprietor ; but he's the head-
waiter. Well, sir, this is an aristocratic country, to have
such as him for waiters. When he told me he was the
waiter, I could' nt get so far down from my opinion of
him as to give him half a crown, so I gave him about all
the change I had in my pocket and broke off as soon as
I could."
As it was my province to select the places to be visited
and Jim's to arrange the routes and the hours of depart-
ure, he soon made himself familiar with Hradshaw's
Kailway Guide, a feat I think I never could have accom-
plished. The shortest route to Chester was by ferry-
boat to Birkenhead, and thence by rail. But the hours
that way not suiting, we went by the longer route of the
Great North Western and the Grand Junction, crossing
the Mersey about twenty miles from Liverpool.
"I should like, if we had time," said Jim, looking out
of the window as we sped along by the margin of the
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 31
Bridgewater canal, "to travel on that awhile and see
how they manage those locks."
"I don't see where the water comes from to fill that
canal," I said.
"Why, man, from the air and the ground. This is
the wettest country in the world, you know. I've read
about this country through here often. Look what
crops and what cows. You've ate, my friend, many a
piece of cheese that came from here."
In less than an hour we were at Chester and quartered
at the Grrosvenor House.
"Another pretty girl, Phil," he whispered, as we ap-
proached the office. "Great country this for women."
As we stood upon the vestibule of the hotel and looked
out, Jim said :
" Now what could you ever suppose put it into the
head of people to build such a town as this ? This is
what they call the Eows. Why look, will you ? The
street belongs to the wagons and the horses, and are
away down below ; and the people have to walk on that
piazza above."
It was indeed a strange sight as we wandered along
the piazzas, far above the street, the dwellings below us
and* the stores to our left, with an occasional booth to
our right boarded in and jutting over the vehicles below.
"I call this doing business up-stairs. And then look
down that cross street yonder. See how the houses lap
over on both sides as they go up. Upon my word, it
don't seem to be more than six feet from some of the
windows in the upper stories on one side of the street
to those on the other. The town is about three times as
big at the top as at the bottom. I wonder it don't fall
in. A little more and that street would be a tunnel.
32 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
If the houses did'nt look so old, I should guess that
that's what they intended to make of it after a while.
But ain't they old ? "
After dinner we made the full circuit of the walls
within which the town is enclosed.
"And the old king stood here in this window, did
he ? " said Jim, when we had mounted into Charles the
First's Tower, "xind over yonder is Rowton Moor.
Oh, these kings, these kings ! They have to have their
times of trouble like the rest of us. How he must have
felt when he stood in this window and saw his army
defeated. Let's go on."
We went on by the race-turf, lingering to look upon
the lovely view towards the north and west. Further
on was the bridge over the Dee with that magnificent
arch of two hundred feet, the largest in the kingdom.
" Now that looks sensible," said Jim, " about the first
thing of the kind I've seen in this old burg. Why they
don't pull down this old wall, and let the town grow
some, if it can, is what I don't understand. They might
give it a chance, anyway. No wonder the Dee is drying
up. I should think such a town as this would dry up
any river after awhile. And that's the field where they
caught the other king, eh?" (pointing to a hill-side
across the Dee), " and along here old Edward was rowed
by the seven princes up the river to that old St. John's
Church on the hill yonder ? This place seems to have
been quite considerable with those old kings, and some
of them had hard times like other folks. Yes, sir.
" Princes, this clay must be your bed,
In spite of all your towers."
"They are not buried here, Jim."
' i suppose not. Still — somehow, I thought of that
TWO GKAY TOUEISTS. 33
old song ever since we were in King Charles' Tower,
but it did'nt seem exactly to fit in there because it's no
great shakes of a town, and old Charles was'nt in much
of a bragging mood, I take it. From the way you look,
it don't seem to you to come in much better here. Well,
you know, Phil, poetry ain't my strong point."
" When will this circuit end ? " said I, nearly broken
down after more than an hour's walk. " Have you any
idea how far we are from onr hotel ? "
" Oh, an immense distance," he answered, with mock
seriousness. "This is a big place, Phil, you know,
counting every way, up and^0g^a^}e^p?^^/,
« Why it has only abo^^mikt)^ndu^md^)e^p^dn it,
inside and out." If ^
"And they inside 1» AlPBn 2& <#8<9$ ^wter,
too, eh ? Yes, but you^e^t ivwd$,c$G&- may vs&erfPsay,
inside and out. I take ifm^l^SntownrOfrC^fe^r has
--<^>/^U of i^yji^^ m
about as many insides and outsMes^aTJsfe^fiiahy insides
that ought to be outsides, as any that can be found.
I'm glad I've seen Chester one time.1'
We had not gone ten steps further when Jim stopped
at one of the numerous nights of steps that led down
from the walls,
"Are you really tired, Phil ? "
" I am, indeed."
" Oh, you old fellows ; you can't stand anything."
" I'm just three weeks older than you are."
" Yes, but three weeks make a difference. Well, do
you know where you are? Do you know what house
that's the top of?"
" I certainly do not."
" I suppose not. Twas'nt for me you'd never get
down from these walls, but keep meandering round and
34 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
round 'em. Well, that's the Grosvenor, and these are
the very steps we came up when we started."
"You don't tell me so."
" I do. Can't you think now of a bit of poetry, or a
piece of a hymn that would suit your lost condition?
What is that about
" Weary sinner, lost and wounded ? "
" Let's get down and rest a while first."
The next morning, we considered whether or not we
would go out to Eaton Hall, the seat of the Marquis of
Westminster. Our time was so limited, we rather chose
to visit the Cathedral. We entered this most imposing
old structure just as morning prayers were over. One
of the vergers very kindly led us around, pointing out
and explaining many things; which, however much we
may read of them, we must see in order to fully compre-
hend and appreciate; the varying architecture of the
ages, and the relations of the various parts of such a
structure to one another. Jim was especially impressed
by the cloisters of the monks of former times, and the
great hall in which they used to dine in common.
" What upon earth is that thing up there ? " he asked
of the verger, pointing upward to where, high on the
wall, a very small sort of pulpit of stone was fastened,
to which several steps of the same material led from the
floor.
'•That," answered the verger, smiling, "is the pulpit
from which, when the monks were at dinner, one of
their number was accustomed to read aloud sermons
and homilies."
'* Sermons and what ? "
•• Homilies."
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 35
'■You mean preaching? '
"Not exactly that, but — the next thing to it, I
suppose."
Jim laughed aloud, but instantly checking himself,
said:
" I beg your pardon, sir, for laughing in your church ;
but it struck me all of a sudden the idea of a set of
preachers sitting down to their dinner and having to
listen to another one a preaching to 'em. Do you sup-
pose that fel — , that gentleman I mean, had his dinner
first?"
"Ah, I can't say that, sir, but probably not."
"Well, well, this town of yours has seen times, in
its — time, if I might use such an expression. I see you
are all mending up the old church ? "
'• Oh, yes ; the Dean is very much interested in renew-
ing the Cathedral "
"Well, I wish him good luck; but I should say he
had a job on his hands."
"And now, gentlemen," said the verger, " I shall be
glad, if you are to remain in Chester, to show you, at
another time, other interesting things about the Cathe-
dral and the Priory. But, with your leave, I will bid
you good morning for the present, as I have not yet
breakfasted."
"Why, bless me!" answered Jim, "have'nt you been
to breakfast?"
" No, indeed ; we never breakfast until after morning
prayers."
" I beg your pardon a thousand times, sir, for keeping'
you away from your breakfast. We leave the town in a
couple of hours. We are very much obliged to you,
and we would'nt have thought of trespassing on your
time "
36 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
" Don't mention such a thing, gentlemen/'
" Good gracious ! " said Jim, after we had left the
grounds, " did nt you suppose he had had his breakfast ?
Why, it's half past eight o'clock, and the sun has been
up nigh on to five hours."
" They don't rise here as you do in Georgia."
"I see they don't. Well, I suppose their business
here goes on about as well, what there is of it, as if they
did get up in decent time. This is a slow-going, but an
economical town, Phil."
" How economical ? "
" Why, don't you see the object of putting that pulpit
on the wall in the dining-room of that church ? And
have preaching going on while they were at dinner ? "
" I think I do. It was to remind the religious who
were eating of the source from which all blessings
come, and lift their thoughts to contemplate the feasts
of the soul as superior to those of the flesh."
" No, sir ; not a bit of it. It was to spoil their appe-
tites, and make 'em eat as little as possible, and save
expenses, and maybe to keep 'em from complaining of
their victuals. That's the only effect that such a thing
would have on me, or any other reasonable and healthy
man. About two weeks' preaching to me at dinner
would make me as thin as a down stream shad. But,
do you know, Phil, I've been thinking how this head
preacher here, what did he call him? Dean? might
economize in fixing up that immense old establishment ?
If I was in his place, I should get my material from this
old wall. It's of no manner of use for anything else in
this world than for building material. The idea of
keeping it here just because it has been here always, is
nonsense. It ought to be put to some earthly use besides
TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 37
for strangers to get the rheumatism in walking oyer it.
For the people here don't seem to use it in that way
themselves. We've walked the whole round, and I should
say it was pushing on to two miles, and we didn't meet
the first native man, woman, or child. Maybe they keep
it just to toll people here ; for I don't see much business
here of any kind. If this is so, I should say that it was
about as curious and unsatisfactory kind of merchandiz-
ing as I would seldom wish to see. But then it can't
wear out, not even like wax figures, which it certainly
makes me think of. Well, I'm glad I've seen old Chester
one time ; and now I'm ready to leave, and go where a
body can get some fresh air."
CHAPTER IV.
N the carriage, sir ; in the carriage," urged the
railway porter to Jim at the station, as he was
lingering on the platform taking a last look
at the old town.
" It's well they call it a carriage," said Jim, when we
were seated, and the train moved off, si for it's no rail-
road car. I'm astonished, Phil, that these English
people should be so far behind the times as to have
carriages instead of cars on their railroads. No chance
to walk, nor not even to stretch your legs, without put-
ting them between other people's. No water to drink,
whether you are on a slow train or a fast one."
'• I don't see what the speed of the train can have to
do with the question of water."
" That's just what I say; it has'nt got anything to do
with it; and the reason is, the people over here don't
keep any water to drink, and don't drink it themselves ;
otherwise, a fellow might get a drink at a station. No,
sir ; no water on the cars, and none on the route. But,
Phil, there's an advantage in taking a smoking-car : for
they don't use the weed much over here, and the smoking
car is seldom full."
The morning was fine, and it was pleasing that pros-
pect of well cultivated fields bounded on onr right by
the Ehuabon and other hills in Wales. Further on,
(38)
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 39
the meadow-hm ds of Shropshire, on the Severn, in their
unbroken green, seemed well worth a journey through
them, even if they had not been full of historic interest.
The low, dense hawthorn hedges, the clumps of shade
trees in every field for the laborers and the cattle to rest
beneath in the noontide heat, the winding rivulets with
shaded banks along which led narrow paths for the
country folk, the fat kine and the full dairies, — looking
upon all these, we had continual delight. As we ran
into Shrewsbury, I expressed regret that our brief time
would not allow us to linger here for at least a day.
" It looks a little livelier than Chester, and for that
reason would certainly suit me better. It isn't as big, I
should say, but it has'nt any wall, and can grow."
" It did have one for a part of the circuit, and would
have had it all, but that the Severn, you see, nearly sur-
rounds it. There was a wall across the neck of the
peninsula, but it seems to have all gone."
" There's a part of an old something just above this
station on that hill."
"That is the remains of the castle which was built
by Roger de Montgomery, created Earl of Shrewsbury
by William the Conqueror. This town and Chester,
being on the frontier, had to be strongly fortified against
the Welsh. Shrewsbury especially was so important
that several of the early kings spent much of their time
and held parliaments here. In that old castle up there
were born two of the sons of Edward IV, the oldest of
whom was one of those afterwards murdered by Richard
III in the Tower. Shrewsbury was the great stronghold
of the Yorks in the wars of the Roses. See yonder old
abbey with the tower. You don't forget Falstaffe ? "
"Who? Old Jack? Of course not. Is this my
same old Shrewsbury ? "
40 TWO GEAY TOtJKISTS.
" The same ; and in that tower was the clock which
timed Sir John's fight in the field over yonder to the
left."
In five minutes we were off again. Jim strained his
eyes, as long as it was visible, to the old abbey, then
turned them in the direction of Shrewsbury Field.
" Well, well, many's the time I've read that play of
Shakspeare about old Jack, and Douglass, and Glen-
dower, and Hotspur, without ever expecting to be this
near Shrewsbury Field. That same clock, eh! Well,
it ticked to a good, long, old fight. Ah! that was a
grand old fellow. It was a mean thing in the prince to
throw him off after all they had seen and done together.
Of course, he must stop all such larks when his father
died and he got to be king ; but he might have made
some provision for the poor old fellow. I always feel a
little like crying when I read old Mrs. Quickly's account
of how he died: because the king 'killed his heart.'
Poor Jack ! He put all his money on one card, and
that's always a mistake. But, see here, Phil, if I remem-
ber right, it was somewhere along here that the young
King Charles, while running from old Cromwell, hid in
the oak. What's the name — Bos — something ? "
" Boscobel Manor-House. Here it is on the map. It
is only about five or six miles from the town of Sheffnall,
the next station. We can't be further than three or
four miles from the Royal Oak."
" They had him up a tree there, did'nt they ? "
" They did, indeed ; that was a narrow escape."
" I expect he felt about as easy as his father did in
that old town at Chester. Oh, these kings! What
won't they go through to gain and to hold on to their
What is won-
TWO GRAY. TOURISTS. 41
derful to me is that the people will risk more and suffer
more for the same than the kings themselves. I don't
mean the big' men ; for they always expect something in
the way of reward; but the people, the poor people
that expect nothing, and get nothing, no matter how it
goes : how such as these can leave their wives and chil-
dren, and little pieces of land, and follow these kings,
who care no more for them, as a general thing, than so
many mules or hogs, and travel over mud, and dust, and
snow, and rain, to get killed, or come home broken
down in health and poorer than ever, this is what I
don't understand."
'•That's a matter, Jim, that used to perplex me,"
said I, "very much. I have thought over it many
times, and I think I am getting to understand it better.
There are several reasons why even the poorest are will-
ing to undergo such dangers for kings. ' In the first
place, pity is a thing which, my reading and observa-
tions have led me to believe, tends upwards instead of
downwards. Misfortunes are the common lot of the
poor. Born in low conditions, they, for the most part,
remain in them throughout their lives. Calamities
among them are too small reductions from their habitual
states to excite very much commiseration either among
their superiors or their equals. But when a very great
man, and especially a prosperous king, comes to grief,
the descent seems so immense, that the lower and hum-
bler a man is, the greater his awe and his pity. They
have been used to look up to the great as the favorites
of heaven; and when these fall, they have a sort of
undefined dread as if such vast ruin, unless reversed,
must overwhelm all mankind. It is pleasing, besides,
to pity such unforeseen and such great suffering, because
4*
42 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
thus the lowly feci some exaltation of themselves in
thus sympathizing with, and, in some sort, rising into
the society of the powerful. Look at the tragedies that
have excited so many tears among the poor. To say
nothing of the older, take those of Shakspeare that you
like so much. They don't recite the misfortunes of com-
mon people, but of the mighty — King Lear, and Hamlet
and such men. If they were common men, even you,
Jim, would get tired of reading them, because, with all
your independence and self respect, you feel, while read-
ing such exalted language, that the suffering it describes
can befall none but those who have fallen from the
loftiest estate. Were you less intelligent than you are,
that idea would be yet more decided in your mind*
The poets who wrote these tragedies understood well
the hearts of the masses, and that they extend more
pity towards the powerful than they receive from them,
or than they bestow upon one another. Besides, there
is the sense of greater personal security in the success
of the chieftain of their choice, their pride in his glory
and in the feeling of their identification with his for-
tunes, whether in prosperity or adversity. And so they
will go to his wars, suffer and fight for him, and die for
him, and their children will be proud of having had
such fathers. What do you say to that ? "
" I expect you are about right. In fact, we see some-
thing of the same sort, though, on a small scale, in our
elections at home. Parties choose their leaders, and
when the campaign gets hot the more ignorant a fellow
is the more ready he is, if not an arrant coward, to fight
for his candidate. I suppose it's natural to us all to
have our leaders."
"Just so; and the more ignorant we are the more
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. . 43
necessary seem to us their triumph, and the more disas-
trous their fall. Then there is to be considered that even
the weakest and most incapable has his share, small as it
may be, of personal ambition, and looks forward to his
portion in the aggregate successes of his cause. These
are the secrets of loyalty and patriotism. A man must
look vp to some one above him, even in this world. If
he does not, he will be unhappy. It is God's work.
The kings and the great rulers are necessary, but they
have not been generally happy, because, for the most,
they had no higher personages to look up towards in
whose glory they could feel pride and common interest,
or whose misfortunes they could pity. We are glad we
are not kings, Jim, are'nt we ? "
"Yes, indeed, or queens either; especially queens."
We were soon out of Shropshire and into Staffordshire,
and my friend was full of admiration at this the great
coal and iron region of England. The scores, the hun-
dreds of factory chimneys near Wolverhampton, from
which the fires and smoke, rushing day and night con-
tinuously, made it seem as if the whole region around
was a forest on fire, were intensely interesting to a mind,
which, in spite of age and adversities, yet delighted in
the evidences of energy and prosperity. As we were
approaching Birmingham, he said :
'Now, sir, if I had had the picking out of the stop-
ping places on this route, yonder's the town I should
have selected, instead of your Chester with its old walls —
not that I ain't glad I've seen old Chester one time, just
to find out what a curious kind of a town people can
make when they try."
"Why Jim, we might have given Birmingham a day.
Why did'nt you mention that you would like to see.it ? "
44 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
" Oh it makes no difference; it's all right. Our time
is too short for us both to see all we want to, and it's
easier to leave the routes to one, and that one, you. In
your programme I shall see enough sights to last the
balance of my life. No doubt about that. I just said
what I did to be talking. But I bet I can tell more
about this town than 3^011 can."
"I've not a doubt of it. I have often regretted, Jim,
that I could not take more interest than I do in the his-
tory and progress and varieties of manufacturing busi-
ness."
"Yes, I see you think more of seeing and talking
about old towns and old things than new. You always
did, Phil. You were even a sort of an old boy."
" I admit that my conclusion to come out here with
you was brought about mainly — besides the pleasure of
having you for a companion — "
"Ahem! of course."
"Was to see old, historic places. To tell you the
truth, I am ashamed of my ignorance of the march of
mechanical industries, but more so of my unwillingness
to make the effort to learn something about them."
"As to that, Phil, people are not alike. It's well they
ain't. No one man can know everything, or like every-
thing. Such things ain't in your line, and your old his-
tories ain't in mine. You and I suit to travel together
very well, and a heap better than if we had exactly the
same ideas. We can have and do have some variety, and
— if you was'nt so poky — we might have some little fun.
I must see if I can't wake you up a little out of your
dreaminess, my old man."
" I wish you would, my sweet youth."
"Hello, that's the liveliest thing you've said since we
left home. I'm having hopes of you."
TWO GRAY TOUEISTS. 45
" But speaking of old things, Birmingham is a very
old place."
" I thought it was modern."
" It was a town in the time of the Komans, called then
Bremerium. The old Strata VitelHanas, now called
Watling street, is not far from here* Even in those
times this was a considerable place for the manufacture
of arms. I doubt if there are many Roman relics now •
but I should have liked myself to see old St. Martin's
Church in the Bull-Eing. That is more than a thou-
sand years old."
"Good gracious! I'm glad you did'nt bet. I find
you know a sight more about the place than I do. Tell
me some more."
"No, that's about all I know, except that in later
times it was the capital of the Kingdom of Mercia."
" Upon my word, those items of information had es-
caped me. Well, your knowledge and mine will dove-
tail very well. Between us, we can make something of
the town. In the first place, Birmingham is the health-
iest of all the large towns of England. You know the
reason why ? No ? Well, in the first place, it is built
on the sides of three hills, and the drainage into this
river Eea, as they call it, is perfect. Another reason, as
they say, is the immense amount of vitriol which is
made here and in the works at Solio and Smettick, close
by. But a better reason still, is that the houses are not
so crowded here as in Liverpool and the other towns."
By this time we were at the station, and although we
had only five minutes, Jim declared he meant to run out
of the enclosure and take one look.
" Get a couple of bottles of beer and something to eat,"
he said, as the train stopped and he rushed out.
46 TWO GEAY TOUEISTS.
" In the carriage, in the carriage."
" Certainly, certainly. In the carriage. Let her
move on. Good-bye, my friend," he said to the porter
who fastened onr door, " I would have given you some-
thing to get me a drink of water, except I suppose it
would have cost you twice as much to get as it would
have been worth to me. Do you love beer ? "
u Oh, yes, sir. It's better an' water."
" There, you take this and drink our health. It's for
giving me the hint when your carriage was going to
move."
Jim took the front seat, and looked back at the town
as long as it was visible.
" Don't she look old and solid ? This is a live town,
Phil. The very walk of the people is different from that
in that old tarrapin we've just left. They have some
air here. I've read that Birmingham has twice as much
room to the man as Manchester, and three times as much
as Liverpool. But as for me, I could'nt live in a big
town. "Why don't they make the streets wider and have
more shade trees? I suppose it's because they don't
know, when the town first begins, that it is going to
grow so big. I begin to like this beer. It is better than
water — such as they have here. Oh ! if I could get one
drink of water out of my well. But that if. F, you
know, my friend, is the longest letter in the book."
Thus rattling on, he took his lunch, and afterwards
we lit our cigars and looked with delight upon the ever-
changing and ever-pleasing views in this the so-called
heart of England — the county of Warwick.
"There don't seem to be any poverty in this region,
Phil ; in the country I mean. I see from the map that
we are in Warwickshire,"
TWO GHAY TOUJilSTS.
47
" Yes, of all, the country I have most desired to see."
"I bet it has a plenty of old worn-out things in it.
Well, I guess there's a few fresh things scattered about
here and there that a young fellow can pick up."
CHAPTER V.
EAMINGTON is certainly the cleanest-look-
ing town I have even seen. It was too early
for the season, and not many strangers were
there. These were invalids, for the most part,
who had come for the benefit of the waters and the
baths. But all, including invalids and inferior sorts of
persons, seemed to be trying to keep in harmony with
the general cleanliness and brightness of the town, the
shining bath-chairs, which here we saw for the first
time, pushed leisurely along the sidewalks, their occu-
pants looking leisurely into the bright shops, and the
shop-keepers seeming as if they had just come out of
the baths, and preferred quiet to selling merchandise.
After a good dinner at the Eegent, on the Lower Parade,
we strolled over Leicester, Kegent, and Warwick streets,
Holly Walk, The Lansdowne Crescent and Circus, and
thence through the fine Jephson Gardens.
(i She shoots well for a woman," remarked Jim, as we
lingered where a party of young men and women were
exercising themselves in the Archery. " She looks like
she has some energy, and that's more than I can say for
the men of this town as far as I've seem 'em. Did you
ever see such an indifferent set ? They must all be rich
people. At least, everybody looks as if he had a clean
suit of clothes for every day ; and the very houses look
like they were washed this morning with soap and water?
(48)
TWO GEAY TOURISTS. 49
and afterwards varnished. I thought you were after
something old in these parts, Phil, but this is the newest-
looking place that ever I saw."
" Yes, Leamington is a new place. It is only within
the few last years that it has become a favorite resort
for the wealthy. We are in advance of the season, you
see, and the shop-keepers are waiting for the crowds to
come in hereafter."
" I see they are waiting for something, and everybody
is dressed up as if it was a wedding. But ain't these
gardens pretty ? What a delightful little stream that is
in the bottom."
" That's the river Learn, you see."
" Kiver ! Well, it takes mighty little water to make
a river in this country."
" Leaving our baggage at Leamington until the mor-
row, we took a carriage for Coventry, via Stoneleigh and
Kenil worth. My companion remarked, in an undertone
to me, as the coachman ascended to his box, that few
men of our age would often desire to have a portlier,
red-faceder, well-fedder, dignifieder, and comfortable-
lookinger driver than the one we had. When the latter
had taken his lofty seat in the open barouche, he slowly
turned his head half way round for instructions, seem-
ing as if he was in communication with some person
under the front seat.
" He's like the rest of the Leamingtonians," said Jim,
in a whisper, " and so, my gracious, are the very horses.
Nobody and nothing else here seems ever to be in a
hurry. But we've got the whole afternoon before us,
and, upon my word, a man ought to want to travel
slowly through such a country as this. My sakes, Phil!
I had no idea that there was one-tenth of the timber in
5
50 TWO GRAY TOUKISTS.
this old country. Can you tell me, my friend/' address-
ing the driver, " whose land this is ? "
In due time, the imaginary gentleman under the
front seat might have heard the solemn response i
" Lord Leigh's, sir."
" What ? He owns land this far from home ? "
" H'oh, yes, indeed, sir."
On we drove through lanes, on both sides of which
alternated the greenest fields we had ever seen, and
forests from which one would have believed that never a
tree or even a shrub had been removed. The approach
to Stoneleigh Abbey reminded of the old stories of
fairy-land, so enchanting were its shaded avenues and
irregular plantations amid undulating grounds. The
Abbey, with its surroundings, from every point of view,
were most picturesque. We would fain have lingered
and entered within the grounds, but after admiring for
a brief time the old gateway (of the time of Henry II),
we proceeded on. A mile further, in the direction of
Kenilworth, we passed through another gate, and then
the great forests of oak and beech became more and
more dense and imposing. The ivy, climbing high up
among the branches, and the thick underwood, made
these forests seem impenetrable.
" None but rich folks hunt in these woods, driver, eh ? "
" H'oh no, indeed, sir."
"Thafs plain enough. Common folks don't shoot
these rabbits. Look at that fellow yonder, and that one,
and that one. That's eight I've seen in the last half
mile. They've come out, I suppose, just for a little
walk — or rather a little hop — in the fresh air. They
can't get any in them bushes and briars. It would do
the people here more good, I should say, to clear up
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 51
some of that land and sow it down in wheat. But that's
none of my business, and so far as I can see, everybody
about here seems to make a living with mighty little
work. Ah, yonder" s your Kenil worth ! ISTow for a sen-
sation! Now for a right smart plucking up in the old
man."
We drove leisurely through the long straggling main
street of the village, with its frequent displays on faded
sign-boards, of the Bear and Ragged Staff, the ancient
crest of the Leicesters. But our eyes, Jim's as well as
mine, though he would have pretended otherwise, peered
before us eagerly for what was left of the castle.
Arrived there we were surprised and discontented not
to find guides ready for employment; for, although we
had freshened ourselves up by reading, while on the
ship, Scott's novel, we desired to inspect minutely, and
in the brief period allowed us, the famous old ruin.
Finding by inquiry of the keeper, another portly man,
with blue coat and brass buttons, that there were no
guides, and nothing was to be had for our purposes but
photographs of the separate parts, Jim merely remarked
that he had 'arf a crown in his pocket for which he had
no very particular use that he knew of just then. The
keeper called from the lodge a woman who might have
been his wife, and saying he was called away on business
and would be gone for an hour or two, we passed, under
his lead, through the Great Gateway into the outer
court. To our right, Caesar's Tower, the Leicester
Buildings to the left; before us, and across the inner
court, the Banqueting Hall and the Strong Tower, and
adjoining, the famous Pleasaunce; on our left, Morti-
mer's Tower, and beyond it, the lake and the tilt yard.
I cannot say how I should have felt if I had visited
52 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
this scene, so replete with historic and romantic interest,
when I was younger, and my warmer blood bounded
with the recital of knightly deeds. Even as it was, I
seemed to feel as much emotion as the youngest and
most ardent could have felt. Jim partook fully of this
emotion, quite unexpectedly to himself, he contended;
and he minutely studied the ground. We walked to
the tilt-yard, plucked some of the eglantines which
grew in profusion on the banks of the little stream
where once was the bridge which the Earl, three hun-
dred years before, had built in honor of the visit of the
great queen. Returning, we ascended the steps of the
Strong Tower to Amy Robsart's chamber, descended,
and strolled through the Pleasaunce and the garden.
An hour was sufficient for all. We spoke but little.
My thoughts had never gone so wholly and so inter-
estedly into the past. The Clintons, the Montforts, the
Lancasters, and the Leicesters, the Kings Henries, Ed-
wards, and Elizabeth, and, lastly, Cromwell, the great
hater of kings and lords, and the fell destroyer of their
works. I was where, all my life-time, I had desired to
be for one time, where these great ones had had their
days of triumph and misfortune, their jousts and feasts
in times of peace, and their battles and sieges in times of
war. These had been here, where now all is desola-
tion, and the very ivy, with its huge, brown, knotted
trunk, looks almost as old as the ruin on which it feeds.
"A tolerable old pile of buildings that, my friend,"
said Jim to the coachman, when we were off again.
" Very old, sir."
" Who does that piece of property belong to now ? "
" Hurl Clarrun "
"Who?"
TWO Oil AY TOURISTS. 53
"Hurrcll Clarrunen, sir."
Jim looked enquiringly to me.
"Earl Clarendon"
" If he would talk at me," whispered Jim, " I could
understand him better."
" To what base uses we descend," I remarked, as we
looked towards where the ancient abbey once stood and
saw only the gateway and another small part now used
for a cow-honse.
"A cow is a yery useful animal, sir," said Jim.
I looked at him reproachfully.
After a travel of five miles over the very finest road in
England, we came in full view of the " three tall spires,"
and shortly afterwards were driving briskly up the
street, making for " The King's Head " of Coventry.
"Where is the man carrying us?" I said to Jim, as,
suddenly taking up his horses, he turned from the street
into a narrow alley.
"Drive to the King's Head, man," I called out, ex-
citedly.
Jim laughed silently, as the coachman, making no
reply, drove on in a slow walk until the horses, of their
own accord, stopped before a door in the alley, out of
which a well-dressed, elderly woman, followed by two
remarkably pretty, sweet-looking girls came forth with
smiles and curtsies. I was much embarrassed, and
looked at Jim.
" Oh, you must do the talking," said Jim, assuming an
embarrassment that approximated alarm.
The coachman dismounted, opened the carriage door,
and was proceeding to take down our bags and umbrellas.
" Madam," said I to the elderly lady, " I beg pardon.
"We are not the persons you seem to take us for ; but
really, ladies — " 5*
54 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
My embarrassment painfully increased as I noticed
tliern becoming suddenly grave and as suddenly arch
(especially the girls), as they noticed my friend behind
me whom, turning around, I saw making strenuous efforts
to avoid laughing outright. Never having known him
to be otherwise than gentle and most respectful towards
women, I had not thy slightest notion of what to make of
his conduct.
" Ladies," said I again, " there is some unaccountable
miscarriage in this matter. We are a couple of Ameri-
can gentlemen, merely traveling for entertainment, and
are not those whom you have been evidently expecting. I
directed the coachman to take us to the King's Head
Inn, which I had been informed was the best known in
Coventry, but by some misunderstanding he has brought
us to a private house "
At this the young ladies laughed out, and so did Jim.
The elderly woman again curtsied, and smiling, said:
" The coachman is right, sir ; this is the King's Head,
and we shall be happy to entertain you."
There was nothing that I could think of to say that
would not have made matters worse. I only looked im-
ploringly around for pardon. It seemed to be freely
bestowed by all except the coachman. He rolled his
great, red, moist eyes upon me for a moment, and as he
led his horses into the court-yard, muttered :
" Thought I did'nt know the King's 'Ed ! Private
'ousel"
This being the first time I had seen an inn of the
fashion which afterwards we found so common in Eng-
land and Europe, I considered my mistake not unnat-
ural. I was slow, however, in learning the relations of
the different parts of this ancient but most respectable
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 55
establishment — the coffee-room, the smoking-room, the
bar, the office, and the route to and from our chamber.
For my life, I could not definitely get the localities ;
and the smiles exchanged frequently between Jim and
these girls made more vain my efforts in that direction.
Not that I do not own to a natural absence of mind
which has been wont to manifest itself, especially in the
forge tfulness of places, excusable in some sort, I contend,
in such as are as inconspicuous and comparatively capri-
ciously arranged as those in an English inn.
We had but a part of the next morning in which to
view Coventry, as our programme was to return by rail to
Leamington and then by carriage again to Stratford. I
determined, therefore, to rise betimes the next morning
and see as much as possible before breakfast. At five
o'clock I was up. I asked Jim if he would go with me.
" Not if I know myself," said he, " to see nothing but
old things this time of day. I'll find you out some-
where in the course of a couple of hours and see what-
ever is alive in the old town ; that ain't much, I take it,
as far as I've seen, except some pretty, rosy-cheeked
girls. At present — " he turned over and immediately
fell back to sleep.
I began my descent, and it was soon evident that I
had taken the wrong way at the first turning. A man
unused to such buildings, constructed at numerous
intervals through scores of years around a court yard,
has little notions of the numbers of turnings the passages
have and the irregularities of the plans of the various
apartments. Discovering that I had lost my way, I
thought to retrace my steps. The eagerness, strange at
my time of life, that I felt not to be caught in so embar-
rassing condition as in the afternoon previous, made me
56 TWO GEAY TOURISTS.
the more confused, as I walked rapidly on. I saw very
soon that I was utterly lost. I rushed on, however, as
rapidly and as noiselessly as possible, now descending
three or four steps and turning into a new passage, now
ascending and diverging into another. I began at last to
suspect that I must have gotten into the most private
recesses of the house, possibly the apartments occupied
by the females. In spite of the consciousness of the
entire purity of my intentions, I reflected that I was a
long way from home, entirely unknown here — well, the
truth is, such feelings as I had cannot be well
described. In my desperation, I determined henceforth
to follow every descending suite of stairs that I should
meet, until I should reach some point of egress on the
ground floor. After having taken, as I really believe,
more than two hundred steps, I found two large folding-
doors, which, I could see by a side light, when opened,
would admit me into the court-yard. To my amaze-
ment, I found the doors were locked from without. My
feelings now partook of the indignant and even the
angry. I seized the bolt and shook the doors with great
violence several times. At last, the Boots, the only
male person I had noticed about the establishment, was
aroused where he had been sleeping, came to the door,
and after scrutinizing me as closely as possible, with
wide-open but not fully-awakened eyes, put in the key
he carried, and let me out.
"In the name of thunder," said I, "what do you
people mean by — "
But on a second's reflection, I knew that Boots ought
not to be responsible for the building, or rather the
numerous buildings of the house. Upon mild inquiry
of where I was and how far from my chamber, on giving
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 57
my number, he opened his great blue eyes to the very
fullest, made with his fingers two sides of an imaginary
parallelogram, running up the long and down the short
side. I had travelled, it appeared, over the greater part
of both these sides. If I had not descended when I
did, I should have gotten among the stables in the loft
of which Boots had been sleeping. I did not tell him
in words, that I would rather he would not mention the
circumstance; but the size of the piece I put into his
hand made him appear grateful and intelligent.
I saw not a soul upon the street except a policeman,
though the sun was now fully up. He accompanied me
to the old priory, rather the few remains yet left of it ;
then knocking at a door at the corner of the same street,
he roused a woman who, at his request, took a bunch of
keys, and leading us to St. Michael's Church hard by,
let ns in. I felt amply compensated for the preceding
anxieties of the morning by the sight, first of the lofty
tower, prism and spire of this the largest and most
tasteful of the parish churches of England, and after-
wards, the interior, nave, aisles, and chancel with aisles
and transepts, the latter most fitly divided from the
body of arches rising from columns in clusters. From
the wall of one of these transepts I copied an inscrip-
tion which I afterwards submitted to Jim's criticism.
While standing outside, and looking up at the tower,
the bells, ten in number, sounded chimes, which, if I
did not consider such music among the inferior sorts,
would have impressed me much. They certainly were
far the best that I have ever heard. Returning to Hertford
street, on which was our hotel, at about seven o'clock,
I met Jim, who said that he had just been into a watch-
making establishment.
53 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
" By the way, Phil, I heard a tremendous racket down
stairs and about the house generally just after you left."
I took no notice of the remark, but stopped suddenly
and pointed to a curious wooden figure in one of the
open windows of an upper floor.
"What in the name of Davy Crockett is that?"
" That is Peeping Tom," I answered.
" What sort o' Tom?"
"Peeping Tom."
"I'm about as wise now as I was at first."
I then recounted the old legend of the Lady Godiva,
and the signal punishment that befell the poor fellow,
who, while the other citizens kept their eyes shut as, in
obedience to the brutal conditions of her husband, she
rode through the streets with no other covering than
her long hair, looked upon her, and was smitten with
blindness.
"And how long ago was that ?"
" Oh, several hundred years."
"You don't mean that that grinning old thing has
been there so long ? "
" It is well established that it has been there for at
least three hundred years."
He looked at it intently for several moments.
"Well, old fellow, it was put on you right heavy for
your curiosity. Why did'nt you just go one eye ? Still,
I think you were served about right."
After breakfast, we took leave of the women. We all
shook hands, and, as pleasantly as I knew how, I apolo-
gized for my mistake of the evening before.
" Is that all ? " began Jim ; but one of the girls shook
her finger at him.
" That Boots is a shabby fellow," said I, after we were
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 59
off, and I found that my morning's adventure was
known.
" Boots ? He had nothing whatever to do with it.
You scared those women half to death while you were
prowling about their rooms. If it had been a little
sooner in the morning you would have finished 'em. As
it was, they saw you, and rang the bell for the Boots to
let you out. What were you doing in that part of the
house, any how ? "
"I had lost the thread of Ariadne,'7 I answered,
gravely. Jim looked at me seriously and interrogatingly
for a moment, but said not another word on the subject.
"I wish," said I, "that we had had time to ride over
yonder to Gosford Green."
" That's the ground of the duel between the Duke of
Norfolk and Henry Bolingbroke. I remember that.
There was'nt any blood spilt, however, and it's been a
long time ago. "Well, Phil, a man at your time of life
old things suit. A man of my age likes new things.
While you were going about those old churches, I was
looking around to see what the people did for their
living. That's a right live town, if it is old."
And then he gave me an account of the business done
there in the watch, ribbon and silk trades : he had all
the figures."
" By the way, Phil, what did they mean by putting
'in Coventry?'"
"There are various accounts of the origin of the
phrase, but none satisfactory."
" I suppose when they put a fellow there, in the old
times, they — as it were — located him — at the King's
Head, and let him — get lost — as it were."
" Possibly. Look here, Jim, here is a curious epitaph
60 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
I copied in St Michael's Church. It purports to have
been written by the deceased himself "In the agony
and Dolorous Paines of the Gout and died soon after."
" Here lyes an Old Tossed Tennis Ball,
Was Raeketted from Spring to Pall,
With so much heat and so much hast,
Time's arm for shame grew tyr'd at last.
Four Kings in Camps he truly seru'd, ■
And from his royalty ne'er sweru'd.
Father ruined, the Son slighted,
And from the Crown ne'er requited,
Loss of Estate, Relations, Blood,
Was too well known, but did no good.
With long Campaigns and paines o' the Gout,
He cou'd no longer hold it out.
Always a restless life he led,
Never at quiet till quite dead.
He marry'd, in his latter dayes,
One who exceeds the common praise ;
But wanting breath still to make Known
Her true Affection and his Own,
Heath Kindly came, all wants supply'd
By giving Rest which life deny'd."
" Well, sir, I should say a meaner piece of poetry I
should seldom wish to hear read. No wonder the fellow
that wrote that died soon after. None but a dying
man ought to be expected to write such poetry as that.
You ain't going to carry that home with you ? "
" Certainly. It's a very remarkable thing."
" Oh, it's remarkable. No doubt about that. It's
remarkable that anybody, even on his death-bed, should
make such stuff as that, and want it put on his tomb-
stone; and then it's remarkable that a well man in his
senses should want to keep a copy of it."
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 61
I was surprised and pleased to notice how I had
scotched Jim in his intentions to plague me about my
blunders at the King's Head. He asked me very par-
ticularly about the Christian names of most of my
female acquaintances whom he knew. I answered all
his questions with prompt accuracy, never returning his
intent looks. As we took the carriage again at Leam-
ington for our afternoon's drive, he said :
" I thought I would buy a couple of handkerchiefs in
this town, but they are too indifferent, these merchants.
Well, good-bye Leamington. I'm glad to have seen you
all, and to leave you all, looking so clean and contented
in your minds."
Opening his bag to get out cigars, he said :
" Well, I see my thread is all safe yet."
I detected the mischief in his tone, but at the same
time, the uncertainty.
CHAPTER VI
HE afternoon was fine. The coachman, though
partaking of the general steadiness of his fel-
low-citizens, was more communicative than
the one of yesterday. Jim had given him a
cup of beer before starting, and he was easily induced at
our cordial invitation to join us in the weed. We had
journeyed for some time over a beautiful, undulating
road, when halting at the foot of a hill, and pointing
to the left, he said :
" Guy's Cliffe ! Yonder's the mill."
We alighted, and following the level pathway for a
hundred or so
paces,
arrived at the old mill, and
passing it a few steps stood upon a narrow bridge over
the Avon and looked up at the mansion. A sweeter
place for a man of culture, who sought compensation for
absence from the city in the charms of nature, could no
where be found on this earth. The clear river, widened
by the embankment which backed its waters to the very
foot of the mansion in its rear, the huge rock out of
which the latter' s foundation was hewed rising on either
side, the dense, green shrubbery extending along the bank
and up the cliff, mingling with the low-hanging branches
of majestic shade trees above and beyond, all conspire, in
perfect harmony, to make a home that " to one who de-
sireth a retired life, either for his devotions or study,
(62)
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 63
the like is hardly to be found." After gazing upon this
scene for a few minutes, we retraced our steps to the
road and walked up the hill to the front gate. It was
open ; but the portress, emerging from the lodge, politely
informed us that Lady Percy was at home, and that
strangers were not expected to enter the front grounds.
We could only look down the fair avenue, through the
lofty firs, and imagine to ourselves what manner of place
it must be, the approaches to which were so exceeding
beautiful.
A short drive brought us to Warwick Castle.
" This looks like worth coming to see," said Jim, as
advancing through the deep, semi-circular road cut out
of the rock we had full view of this magnificent structure.
"Another Caesar's Tower. They seemed in those times
to have believed in old Caesar in this country; and a
Guy's Tower — our same old Guy of the Cliff, I suppose.
Where's the part that was burnt some years ago ? "
" There," I said, pointing to the Baronial Hall, and
the suite of rooms following over a portion of that side
of the court.
" Why the fire did'nt even kill the ivy on the wall."
It was surprising to see, in spite of the withered trunks,
the green leaves which here and there dotted the walls.
We entered along with about a dozen other tourists the
great Banqueting Hall, and passed through the Red
Drawing Room, the Cedar Drawing Room, the Gilt
Drawing Room, the State Bed Room, and others. It
was rather tiresome to listen to the poor woman whose
business it was to point out to tourists the objects of
interest, and the more so as the monotony of her occu-
pation, it was plain to see, had become extremely weari-
some to herself. She seemed surprised and even slightly
64 TWO GKAY TOURISTS.
disgusted whan any one exhibited special interest in any-
thing, or enough to linger even for a moment in its con-
templation; and she showed evidently her displeasure
whenever she was called upon to repeat any of her remarks.
The ladies paid little attention to this, but the gentle-
men were somewhat considerate, and would have been
more so except for her fretfulness Jim, who had kept
very much in the rear, having become tired of the mo-
notony, and not having noticed her infirmity, spoke up
just as we were emerging from the Banqueting Hall.
" Just one moment, madam, if you please Will you
be kind enough to say again what it was you called this
— ah — sideboard ? "
The woman turned and looked at him, and while
subdued smiles were on all other faces, she frowned
visibly.
" That, sir, is the Kenilworth Buffet, as I said as dis-
tinctly as I could, made of the Great H'oak of Kenil-
worth."
" Oh ! " said Jim, " I took it for a sideboard."
" I will thank the gentlemen, and the ladies, to listen
as well as they can, for while they 'ave two ears apiece,
Hi 'ave but one voice."
Jim colored and said :
" I beg pardon, ma'am, I had no idea of being specially
troublesome, and will try not to be so again."
The woman noticed the perfect sincerity of his apology,
and evinced slight signs of regret by appearing some-
times to address her remarks, specially such as were
laudatory, to him mainly, and at such times taking un-
usual pains to make her utterances distinct and em-
phatic. He received these little demonstrations as a
gentleman should have done, with complete apparent
TWO GRAY TOUItlSTS. 05
attentiveness. She called our attention, in one of the
rooms, to the view to be had from the windows. As
we were looking out upon that fair horizon, the
winding Avon, the alternations of fields and woodlands
extending far away into Worcestershire, Ave noticed that
the woman, with a pained expression in her face, was
leaning wearily against the door-facing. We were an
hour or more in this round As Ave descended at last,
Jim was the last to leave. Each of the rest having put
into the hands of the guide a small piece of money, he
handed her half a crown.
" H'oh ! thanks, sir. But really, sir — Hi — am — sorry — "
" Not a word, ma'am. All my fault. I ought to have
known you must be tired. Thank you, ma'am. Good-
bye, ma'am."
" She ought to be paid well for that work," he said, as
we were walking off. " Now, if I could ever learn all those
everlasting names of old pictures and such things, it
Avould kill me dead to have to go over them as often as
she has. See yonder, she is there at the window above
where we went in waiting for that other party coming
up. But, by gracious, that's a right sizable bowl."
" My patience, Jim ! call the celebrated WarwickVase
a howl. Herds the Warwick boivl" I said, as we lingered
at the old gate and inspected, among other relics of the
giant, his punch- bowl.
" Do you call this pot a bowl, ma'am ? " he asked of
the portress.
" H'oh, and it is a bowl, h'and many the time h'it was
filled and emptied when the Hurrul come to his h'age."
"/should call it a pot, a regular old-fashioned wash-
pot However, when they call a sideboard a looffay,
there's no telling what they may'nt call bowls and pots."
6*
66 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
As we passed through Warwick, we had a good view
of Leicester's Hospital and the West Grate.
" With the exception of these old things, and a few
others, the town looks tolerably new, after all," said Jim.
" The. old town," said I, "was mostly destroyed by
the great fire of 1694."
"They have gates yet, but I'm thankful, for the
people's sake here, that they have'nt got any old wall to
keep out the air. Driver, what old chap is that with
the blue gown, going up to that church, or whatever
that is up there, on top of the gate, and what's that he
has on his sleeve ? "
" 'Ee's one of the Brothers of the 'ospital, sir. They
'ave to worship in St. James' Chapel. That's the Bear
and Ragged Staff on 'is sleeve. The Hurrell of Leices-
ter, 'ee founded the 'ospital."
"He did, did he? Well, I think he might have
picked out a prettier uniform for his people, and not
made 'em have to go up so high to say their prayers.
Do you suppose, driver, that any good beer could be got
in this town ? It seems mighty long between drinks."
" H'oh yes, sir ; " and although a Leamingtonian, he
laughed with reasonable appreciation of my friend's
jocularity. After a few moments' rest and refreshment,
we set out again. We can never forget the drive, the
sweetness of the fields and forests that June afternoon,
the rich green wheat, in its midst the red sparkling
poppies, the abundant cosy road-side shades ! Yonder is
Shirburn, and yonder Fulbroke Park, and yonder Hamp-
ton Lucy. Here is the little church at the opening to
Charlecote. Halting for a brief space, we climbed the
railing, entered, and passing into the Lucy Chapel, saw
the tombs of Sir Thomas and his lady; then we drove
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 67
slowly along the circuitous road around the grounds,
yet well stocked with fallow deer, getting ever changing
views of the ancient hall. Again we halted at the
further gate where the angry boy posted his first poetry,
for which crime, more heinous than killing the deer, he
must go into the exile so prolific of great results.
" Well," said Jim, " the family seem to hold on well
to it, and a good piece of property it is."
" It looks, Jim, as if Slender' s prophecy was a true
one, that as the Lucies have written themselves armigero,
any time these three hundred years ' as all his successors
gone before him have done, and all his ancestors that
come after him may, they may give the dozen white
luces in his coat.'"
" Yes, indeed; and when a family gets hold of as solid
a piece of property as this, and the law won't let it go
out of it, a fellow even smarter than Shakspeare may
write himself blind, in making fun of them, but he
can't put 'em down."
Into Stratford, and down another alley. We had
expected never to get to an inn where the women were
nicer-looking, and things generally more snugly arranged
than at the King's Head, And yet, it did seem to be
so at the Red Horse. I was not slow to understand the
cordial greetings that, before the carriage fairly stopped,
we were receiving from three girls any fresher and pret-
tier than whom (to use a favorite expression of Jim's)
I should seldom wish to see. Having been conducted
to our chamber, which, fortunately for me, was easily
accessible, we descended the stairs, and were shown the
coffee-room, smoking-room, and "Washington Irving's
sitting-room." These were all so entirely satisfactory
that we would have sat down and enjoyed the serenity
OS TWO GEAY TOURISTS.
we felt. But the day was far spent, and the morrow
being Sunday, which we desired to spend in Oxford, we
sallied out to see the Shakspeare mansion. A poor house,
indeed, whose occupants of old time doubtless had little
foresight of the fame it was to have, and the pilgrims
of all tongues who were to resort to it. Yet, I thought,
who knows what joy might not have been in that low-
roofed upper chamber on that April day when another
man-child was born into the world. For joy, and even
pride and expectation belong not alone to mothers of
princes and lords, who bear them on costly beds, beneath
gilded canopies, but also to those who, in such poor
chambers as these, hear, for the first time, their beloved's
voices, and wrapping them in homely garments, lay
them on their breasts. Who can say what prophecies
may not have been in that village woman's heart when
she looked upon the face of that fair child who was so
much more worth to her than all the Lucies, and the
Beauchamps, and the Dudleys, theretofore and there-
after! Surely, such a being could not be born here
and there be no recognition in her who had travailed
with him, that he was not of the kind of the village
folk around them.
A sweet walk it is across the fields to Shottery. In
the narrow path along the hedges, we met several per-
sons who had been to visit the cottage where the poet,
yet a boy, was so: strangely wedded. The thatch was
sunken and patched on this house, yet more humble
than the one we had just left. We both sat, by invita-
tion of the genteel woman claiming to be a descendant
of the Hathaways, upon the rude stone seat, where, she
confidently asserted, the lovers had often sat in their
trysting time, and then, ascending to the nuptial chain-
TWO GEAY TOURISTS. G9
ber, we inscribed our names upon a book that lay upon
the table ; then descending, and thanking Mrs. Taylor
for the flowers she pulled for us, took our leave On
the way home, I gave expression to some of the thoughts
that were in my mind while in the chamber where the
great man was born. Jim meditated awhile, and then
answered thus :
"I should'nt be surprised, Phil, if the woman did
have some such ideas as you say. But that is'nt an
uncommon thing. Women, the world over, are always
proud of their babies when they are first born, and even
up to the time when they find out that they are no
greater shakes than other people's. I suppose the good
Lord made 'em so, in the first place, to keep the poor
things in some sort of heart before their children come,
and then to keep 'em from neglecting 'em when they
do come, and make 'em take that everlasting care of 'em,
which, if they did'nt take, they would die, or get crip-
pled, or sickly, and come to nothing. I've noticed
often — no matter how little they think of themselves,
and how big fools and no account generally they know
their husbands or even their other and grown-up children
to be — why, sir, if they have nothing else to tell you
about their babies, they'll brag about how quick they
cut their first teeth, or of their falling out of the cradle
and not crying about it, or their reaching out their
hands and trying to take hold of the moon, as if they
were the only ones that ever did or could do such won-
ders. Why, there's my wife, as sensible a woman as any-
body else's wife, she's had eight children, and I tell you,
Phil, what is the fact, not a single one of 'em, if he was
a boy, that she did'nt have some idea that he was to
grow to be a tremendous big man some day, presidenx
70 TWO GTCA.Y TOURISTS.
or governor, or judge, or something of the sort. Some-
times I've said to her, ' look here, Emily, that baby is
my baby, and I don't think my baby can be expected,
escept as to what he has got from his mother' (his
mother, yon know, Phil, I have to fling that in), * that
my baby can be expected to be much, if anything, above
the run of just good, common men like me.' You think
that woman don't pinch me on the jaw, and tell me
that it's all because I ain't ambitious, and if I was ambi-
tions I would have been equal to any of the rest of 'em
that go to Congress, and all such ? And by gracious, I
do believe she thinks so. Yes, sir ; yes, sir ; I should'nt
be at all surprised if the old lady Shakspeare did
have some right high notions about William when he
was born at last, and she saw that he had a good big
round head. But that's no sign; they all have 'em
whether their babies' heads are big or little."
" Jim Kawls," said I, " if it was not for your wife, I
would knock you down right here."
" Thanky," he answered, in great glee, " she's got me
off from worse dangers than that many a time."
A pleasant evening we had in the cosy chairs in the
smoking-room hard by the little bar, waited on by the
bar-maid, so pretty, and snug, and neat, and friendly.
Jim ordered one extra mug of ale because, he said, it
seemed to do her good to have the opportunity of oblig-
ing us, old as Ave were. When we got to our chamber,
he suddenly exclaimed:
" There, now ! If I have'nt left my spectacles at that
Anne Hathaway Cottage."
" I noticed," said I, " that you took a good deal of
pains when you were writing your name in that book ;
but I supposed, of course, that you put your spectacles
TWO OR AY TOURISTS. 71
back into your pocket. You observe that other people
can lose things as well as I."
" Well, well, I don't know when such a thing hap-
pened to me before. Never mind, it's too late to get 'em
back, and I won't need any before Monday, or if I should,
I can borrow yours. I don't grudge 'em to the old lady
Taylor if they suit her. She looked like a monstrous
clever old lady. By the way, Phil, I thought I would
ask you what thread that was you said you lost this
morning."
"Why did'nt you?"
" Well, I did'nt exactly — I know I put some needles
and thread in your valise; but — who— whose thread did
you say you lost ? "
"Ariadne's."
"Well, but how — what made you think her thread
might have got away down there where the women
stayed ? "
" How could I know where it was ? "
He thought awhile. Suddenly he broke out :
" Who in the dickence is Ariadne, anyhow ? "
After teasing him awhile, I related the myth of
Theseus and the Labyrinth.
"You got me that time, old fellow. I give it up.
You answered so seriously this morning when I asked
you about it, that I did'nt know what to make of it. I
owe you one for that. Well, old Anne Hatha way's Cot-
tage may go for me. But it was a polite old lady that
showed it to us, and she's welcome to my spectacles if
they suit her."
It was long before my eyes were closed in sleep. Even
after we had ceased to talk, and my companion was
taking the profound slumber that comes to a man of
72 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
sound body and spirit after a day's travel, I lay awake,
dreaming awake of him who had made this place so
famous. What mystery around him, what little known
of the interior life of this the greatest of mankind, though
born in the very heart of England and in the times of
Elizabeth. That such a man should have left no record
of his history, not even a letter to a friend. What a
marriage ! What is the meaning of those unhappy son-
nets which contain the saddest complainings that mortal
ears ever listened to; that pursuit of a business which,
although it brought him shame and grief, he persisted
in for the sake of providing a home for Anne Hathaway
and her children ; that indifference not only to fame,
but to even a good name in refusing to notice even the
charges of plagiarism, one of the meanest vices; and
then that silent withdrawal from the great city and return
to his humble place of nativity, dying and leaving a
curse upon any who might come to molest the tomb
which was to hold his dust ? What tragic loves had he
told of — the young love of Eomeo, the married love of
Othello, the old man's love of Lear ! What frightful
thoughts he had had of death ! I suspect he did not
greatly love this Anne Hathaway, but that he had loved
another, younger and more fair, whom he failed to obtain
from accidents agonizingly painful and abjectly humili-
ating. Those sonnets, though so purporting, must surely
have been addressed to no man. That lamentation of
Venus for Adonis was written long after he had been a
married man. Who but one whose heart had been
blasted by disappointments and those that had been
attended by disgrace, could have put such words as the
following into the mouth of the goddess as she stood
over the corpse of her lover :
TWO Gil AY TOURISTS. 73
Siiice thou art dead, lo here I prophesy ;
Sorrow on love hereafter shall attend :
It shall be waited on with jealousy,
Find sweet beginning, but unsavory end,
Ne'er settled equally, but high or low,
That all love's pleasure shall not match his woe.
It shall be fickle, false, and full of fraud,
Bud and be blasted in a breathing while ;
The bottom poison, and the top o'erstraw'd
With sweets that shall the truest sight beguile :
The strongest body shall it make most weak,
Strike the wise dumb, and teach the fool to speak.
It shall be sparing and too full of riot,
Teaching decrepit age to tread the measures ;
The stormy ruffian shall it keep in quiet,
Pluck down the rich, enrich the poor with treasures;
It shall be raging mad, and silly mild,
Make the young old, the old become a child.
It shall suspect where is no cause of fear ;
It shall not fear where it should most mistrust ;
It shall be merciful and too severe,
And most deceiving when it seems most just :
Perverse it shall be, where it shows most toward,
Put fear to valor, courage to the coward.
It shall be cause of war, and dire events,
And set dissension 'twixt the son and sire ;
Subject and servile to all discontents
As dry combustious matter is to fire ;
Sith in his prime, Death doth my love destroy,
They that love best their love shall not enjoy.
What words from a married man ! No, indeed ; this
Anne Hathaway, eight years older than himself, of yet
lowlier estate, was scarcely the first or chief, or only idol
of his heart. Yet, he was a man, and he would get such
7
?4 TWO GRAY TOUEISTS.
things as she and her children would need most, and this
seems to have been the only purpose for which he lived
and wrought.
What had been the varying feelings with which he
trod to and fro in that sweet walk across the fields to
Shottery, and what when after his great career he re-
turned, we can never know. The simple folk among
whom he dwelt may have considered that a curious
epitaph he wras leaving. But such things were not un-
common in old England. So they let down the coffin
beneath the chancel in the church, laid back the stones
smooth as before, and, wThen night came, mingling gossip
with sympathetic speeches, they at last grew sleepy and
went to their beds. In time, sleep came to me also.
CHAPTER VII.
i
!T§^i
UST come here, Phil. Look at that."
Jim was in the smoking-room, and was no-
ticing with a smile the bill which had been
made ont against us below the receipt of the
payment of which were written the words " with thanks."
" Now did you ever see such as that at the bottom of
a receipt ? and would you ever wish to see a politer or a
friendlier set of girls ? "
They did look even more charming than the evening
before, with their Sunday frocks, fresh roses in their
hair, and perpetual ones on their cheeks. We shook
hands with them reluctantly when bidding them good-
bye.
I thought there never could have been a sweeter
Sunday morning. The dew was long in drying on the
grass and leaves, and, even in our car, we could smell
the flowers in the hedges and fields. The green, so deep
it was, darkened among the woods. The air was still
and soft. We had a slow train, and Ave saw very many
of the country folk, some going to church, walking or
in their carts drawn briskly by their round-bellied, sleek,
snug, little cobs, some leisurely strolling along the gentle
hill sides gathering nosegays, or lying at ease beneath
the shady clumps of trees, while others, a few, were
angling on the banks of the Cherwell and the stream-
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76 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
lets leading into it. Quite a number of third-class
cars were in our train ; these were emptied and filled
again at every station.
" They seem the quietest and contentedest people I ever
saw, I think," said Jim. " There don't seem to be much
poverty among these country folks. The very smallest
of their houses look clean and comfortable. What a
people they are for flowers and vines. I tell you what is
a fact, Phil, there's something about flowers and vines
that makes poor people get along well and live con-
tented on a little. I've noticed that often. They keep
them from letting things go loose generally, and some-
how it seems to me that the ones who have them about
their homes don't complain and don't get sick as often as
the others, and when sick they get well sooner. I tell
you that there's something about flowers and vines that's
healthy. Banbury Station, eh ? I see we are in Oxford-
shire.
Ride a cock-horse to Banbury Cross,
To see a fine lady get on a white horse,
With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes,
She shall have music wherever she goes.
Oh dear, oh dear ! how often I've heard my little ones
sing that, and how I wish I could hear 'em sing it this
morning. But never mind, we'll all sing it together
when we get back. Let's try another of the weed."
The old fellow had made up his mind in spite of his
tenderness not to be homesick, and so he lit up, the bell
rang, and we were off again. As we passed Enslow Sta-
tion, he said:
"According to the map, those woods yonder to the
right belong to Blenheim Park. Ah, that old Marl-
borough ! He was one of 'em."
TWO GKAY TOUKISTS. 77
"Yes, indeed; but I should have thought more, if we
could go there, of Alfred, and the Henries, and the other
kings, Saxon and Norman, who made it their residence."
" I'll be bound for that. Well, men at different ages
like different things. Maybe I'll like old things myself
when the time comes But yonder's your Oxford. Let's
stop at the Randotyh. That sounds old Virginny like.
At the Randolph Ave stopped. Things were on a
broader but not more comfortable scale than at Strat-
ford and Coventry. We spent the hour before dinner in
a visit to Worcester College in order specially to see its
gardens. The walk was not long up Beaumont street.
Having easily obtained admittance through St. Bernard's
Gateway, after surveying the quadrangles, the chapel,
hall, common-room, and library, we walked into the
gardens. Surely, five acres of ground could not easily
have been made more beautiful. The walls completely
covered in green, the narrow, winding waters, the varie-
gated beds, shaded by the horse-chestnut trees, and the
walks with elms, make this the favorite resort of towns-
people as well as students. It was vacation, and we saw
only one student as he sat in the windows of his room.
" Poor fellow," said Jim, when the porter had told us
that he was staying here in order to make up in the
studies on which he had been cast.
After dinner we strolled out again, wending down
Magdalen and Cornmarket, passing Magdalen Church
and Jesus Colleges, thence into High street, to All
Saints and St. Mary's Churches, lingering before the
latter (built for the university by Alfred the Great
shortly after its foundation), to recall the fate of some
eminent persons whose history was associated with its
own. There rest the remains of Amy Kobsart, there
78 TWO GRAY TOUEISTS.
the unhappy Kosamond, sometimes when she could in
safety leave St. Peter's in the East, might come timidly
to Vespers. That porch, with its elegant twisted col-
umns, so Italian in style, made one of the items in the
impeachment of Archbishop Laud. Eetracing our way
to High street, passing into Oriel, by St. Mary's Hall,
Oriel and Corpus Ghristi Colleges, we reached by Canter-
bury Gate Christ's Church. A citizen of the place whose
acquaintance Jim made immediately after meeting him
while coming out of the Cathedral — a lay-clerk — kindly
led us through the great Tom-Gateway into the quad-
rangle, the hall, common, and kitchen.
"A tolerable sizable gridiron, that," said Jim, as the
guide pointed out that relic of the times of the founder,
the great Wolsey.
" Yes, indeed, that was before ranges were invented,
and you know that in the old times the part of a col-
lege that was built first was the kitchen."
" The mischief you say ! Stomachs first and brains
afterwards ; not a bad idea. If you excuse me, sir, I'd
like to know why they call that gate the Tom Gate ? "
" That is from Tom, the naine of the great bell of
the college."
"Yes, yes, I've heard of the "Mighty Tom." That's
him, is it ? "
At that moment the bell sounded.
" He lumbers right well. I'm glad I've heard him one
time."
On to Pembroke College, and into the room occupied
by Samuel Johnson.
"Out of that window," said the guide, "he threw
into the court the new pair of shoes that had been left
for him at the door, when his own were worn out, and
he had not money to buy others."
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 79
"I'd have done it too," said Jim, with emphasis.
" The old fellow was right."
" He was but a youth then, Jim," I said.
" It makes no difference ; a man's a man, or ought to
be, whatever his age is. And this is the desk he wrote
his dictionary on, eh ? It ought to have been a book by
good rights after he spent seven years pegging away at
it on such a piece of furniture as that."
Jim insisted upon our new acquaintance going with
us to the hotel, taking tea, and smoking a cigar.
"My friend here," said he, after tea, "always prefers
something ancient. What is about the oldest thing in
or about this town that we can show him in the morn-
ing before we leave ? "
"I should like," said I, "to visit Godstowe Priory."
" The very thing," answered the clerk. " You can do
that before breakfast."
He accepted our invitation to accompany us, and
betimes the next morning we were on our walk to the
river. When we had reached Queen's Lane,
"There," said the clerk, "is something old for you,
St. Peter's Church in the East, the oldest church in
England. The fair Eosamond used to go there to wor-
ship, secretly wending her way through a crypt in order
to avoid the observation of Queen Eleanour."
"Poor thing! I suppose she thought she must go to
meeting sometimes.''''
Arrived at the water, we hired a boat, Jim and the
clerk took the oars, and we shot up the river, passing
old Oxen Eorde, and about a mile further on, landed
and walked to the place we sought. Nothing of the
priory was left except a part of the wall and a small
stone turreted structure. To yet baser uses this cele-
80 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
brated spot had descended than that at Kenil worth, in
being kept for breeding swine I was sorry Jim had
gone with ns.
"And this is it, is it ? The great Godstowe Priory ?
You see, Phil, they are beginning to put these old
things to some use at last. Kenilworth Abbey a cow-
house, you tell me the Martyr's Tower is a horse-stable,
and here's Godstowe Priory a hog-pen. Now, if they
could put that old wall at Chester to some use, it would
be about right. But let's go back. Make haste, Phil,"
he continued, after getting out of the enclosure, and
looking back at me who was gathering a few ivy leaves
from the old wall, "look out for fleas."
His loud laugh rang out in the morning air. Keturn-
ing to the river, we untied our boat, and sped swiftly
to the landing. I paid the boatman in haste, insisting
that it was my treat. "We had not proceeded a hundred
yards when the man came running and calling after us.
We halted.
" Beg your pardon, sir," said he, addressing me, " but
the price was 'arf a crown."
"Certainly," said I, in some embarrassment, "I so
understood it, and thought I paid you."
"H'oh yes, indeed, sir; but you gave us two 'arf-
crowns. I did'nt know — but John said — "
" Did'nt you mean half crown a piece ? "
"H'oh no, sir; for both."
" Certainly," said the clerk.
Jim took the money from his hands, and gave him a
shilling of 'his own.
"Take that for your pains. Here, Phil, take }rour
money. That comes from bothering yourself with other
people's business. You never saw such an absent-
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 81
minded man," addressing the Englishman. "I have to
watch him like a hawk, to keep him from losing every-
thing he's got, and himself to boot."
Jim pressed the clerk to breakfast with us; on his
declining, he asked him cordially if he ever should
come to Georgia, and so forth.
Another fair day. The country along the Isis, hoav
become the Thames, was delightfully ' diversified with
field and woodland, level and undulating surface. The
prospect was most fair when culminating in the Ohiltern
Hills. As we passed through Berkshire, we remarked
that the farms were smaller, and there seemed to be
fewer landed proprietors than in those in which we had
travelled.
" My goodness ! " exclaimed Jim, " what a country for
farming! They say that the sheep on those hills are
uncommonly large and fine. Was there ever such a
country for water as this? Not a field without it.
And don't these smaller trees on them and the paths
along them look nice ? Here we are at Reading. This
is a live town. Look at the foundries and mills, and
there's a big business here also in velvets and silks. A
priory, too ? You don't say so. I wonder what animal
owns it."
On to Maidenhead, into Bucks. The Ohil terns con-
tinue, but here their sheep, at least in the fleece, yield to
those of the Aylesbury Vale. Now the farming gives
way to the dairy and chicken-walk, and junking, as some
there name it, begins in milk, and butter, and poultry
for the London market. What perfect economy! Not
an inch unoccupied. We look over yonder to the right,
a couple of miles distant, and see from the battlements
of Windsor Uastle the huge flag which indicates that the
82 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
queen is there. We strain our eyes towards it, but the
dashing train in a moment carries us out of sight, away
across the Coin, into Middlesex, and the gardens grow
smaller and more prolific, save where the elegant villas
and pleasure-grounds vary the smooth landscape in the
valley of the Brent. For several miles already the atmos-
phere has become clouded, yet not with clouds. Soon the
great city rises on the horizon, near, but seeming distant.
The farms, and villas, and pleasure-grounds have dis-
appeared. For miles and miles, dark brick houses are
thick on either side. At last we slacken our speed, the
train slowly comes to a halt, and while we are looking
out upon the crowds of cabs and other vehicles, the
guard opens the door and announces " Paddington."
CHAPTER VIII.
^REIVED at the Langham on Portland Place,
a police officer met us before the vestibule, who,
after taking down in a small book the number
of our cab, asked if we had engaged rooms.
We answered in the negative.
" Better see if the 'ouse is full before you trouble to
take down the loogage."
I felt much embarrassed.
"Oh, nonsense," said Jim, and walked in with the air
of a proprietor. It was several minutes before he re-
turned.
"It's been a touch-and-go thing, Phil. The house,
big as it is, runs over with Americans." We went in,
and, after proper attentions at the lavatory and coffee-
room, walked from the office through the long hall,
surmounted at the extreme end with a statue of Shaks-
peare. From this place, styled "the Poet's Corner," a door
leads into the superb smoking-room. At the entrance of
the latter was a small office about five feet square, in
which were two young women, for all the world like
those at Stratford, except that they were dressed in city
fashion, and did not give any recognition of the fact of
our arrival. Jim paused a moment in passing by the
open window, prepared to receive in a becoming manner
the cordial greeting he had evidently expected. But
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81 TWO OKAY iTOtJRISTS,
iliov looked at us only for a moment to see if we desired
any service, and Immediately tnmed away.
"A fine house, Phil." said he, after we had taken our
seats, "and a tremendous big one. I Avas afraid for
awhile that we could not get in. The fellow at the
office said so in that many words, and said that we ought
to have telegraphed him from Liverpool. I urged him,
for goodness gracious sake, not to turn off a couple of
old fellows, one of whom (meaning you. of course,)
was a sort of invalid and very rich, who, neither of
us knew a single man, woman, or child in the town, big
as it was. I said we were a couple of Americans
just traveling for amusement, and that they told us at
home that when we got to London we must be sure to
stop at the Langham Hotel, because it was the best in
the town and had the very cleverest and most accommo-
dating set of men. I did nt say fellows, fearing he
might think I was a little too free at the start. The
fellow, that red-headed one, looked at me a moment, and
smiled, glanced over his book, and then said, that if we
could put up with the Race-Way to-night, he could fix
us up conveniently by to-morrow night. ' The Race- Way,'
said I; 'you don't mean the stable?' That got him.
He laughed right out, and* said that that was only a
name given to a long sort of attic story that they made
into rooms, with curtains between, when they were
crowded as they are now. I told him all right, and
so here we are. But this is a nice place," lie continued,
looking around at the luxurious chairs, and sofas, and
snug little tables, and the huge windows opening out
above the street. "And those girls ! more style than the
Stratford's, but not nigh so friendly ; they see so many
more people, 1 suppose."
TWO GRAY TOUKi-TH. So
About twenty gentlemen were in the room — some
quietly smoking, others sipping coffee or other drinks
on the tables, and others writing. These reminded us
to write letters home. At bed time we took the " lift,"
as they call the elevator, and after a tardy and appa-
rently vast extent, and long perambulations afterwards,
reached our quarters.
" I don't know why they call this a Race- Way," Jim
said, when we found ourselves behind a curtain and our
heads touching the roof. "Let alone running, we can't
even stand. We shall have to get on the floor to dress
and undress. But they are nice, clean beds. All right."
The next morning after breakfast, while I was look-
ing over a map of the town, Jim, who had been to the
office to arrange for a change of quarters, came into the
smoking-room.
"Phil, what's an 'ontraysole?' That fellow said he
could give us a room on the ontraysole or the first floor,
and gave me this paper to look over the prices, etc.
I told him, that being old fellows we would prefer to be
as low down as possible, and would probably take the
first floor if it was'nt too expensive. He smiled, he did,
and I come to see you about it ; but I can't find any
such outlandish word here."
I took the paper and pointed to the word entresol
" The mischief! Ah, I suppose that's a French word
they have brought over here. I know it is, because I never
saw one of them that was pronounced like it was spelt.
But look, will you ? I thought this was the first story.
Instead of that, the first story don't begin until you get
up above the — what ever you call it. You say so?
Very well, we'll take the hie — the onthraysole. But I
never expected to stay in a place of that name."
86 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
Whoever has only about fourteen days in which to see
Loudon must distribute and economize his time with
great care. By so doing, it will surprise him to find
how much more can be accomplished than by desultory
visitations, as we found afterwards in comparing notes
with other tourists. Jim and I studied the map thor-
oughly in the first instance, and then we arranged, every
night, our places for the next day's operations. Not
that we were at all unanimous in our preferences ; but
we had agreed to disagree whenever we pleased, each to
visit such places as he should choose, when our tastes
and dispositions did not coincide, and discuss, when we
should meet again, what Ave had seen. "We were to keep
together, however, for the first day, partly because we
knew we should find quite enough objects for our joint
inspection, and because Jim said he wanted me to get a
little used to the place before he could consent to my
starting off by myself.
" I don't want to lose you over here, Phil, and have to
advertise for you, you know."
On the first morning we started out for a stroll, having
"Westminster Abbey for our last objective point. Turn-
ing the corner at "All Souls' " we took our way down
Kegent street.
" This is'nt. the street for us to trade in, Phil," said
he, as we noticed the handsome shops on either side,
into which, so early in the day, very few buyers were
entering. " These stores are for folks with big money-
bags ; they hav'nt come out yet, you see."
Arrived at the foot of Piccadilly, I spoke of my long
entertained wish to see the National Gallery of Paintings.
" Yes," answered Jim, with a lazy sigh, " I knew it,
although I should have thought you saw enough pic-
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 87
tares at Warwick Castle. If it was'nt that I should' nt
care about having to give a long list of reasons when I
got back home why I did'nt take in such a place when
I had the chance, I should'nt go in with you, but wait
out here in this square until you got through. But lead
on ; I'll try it for awhile."
"Of course, you should see the National Gallery, Jim.
There were some fine pictures at Warwick Castle ; but
that was comparatively a very small collection."
"Whee— oo!"
" Whereas here, notwithstanding they have none from
the Spanish, there are more than seven hundred works
of the old masters."
" Well, let's go in and pay the old fellows a call.
Make it short, Phil. We are not much acquainted with
'em, you know, and good manners would require a short
visit."
We entered the building, and passed hurriedly through
the rooms. Jim regarded with considerable interest a
few pictures which were specially striking in the exhi-
bitions, either of great beauty in women, or great physi-
cal power in men. After emerging, we sat down for a
short rest in Trafalgar Square.
" Bigger lions than them," said Jim, pointing to the
immense bronzes at the foot of the Nelson Monument,
" I should'nt ever desire to see, that is alive. It would
take a sizable eagle to fly oif with one of those fellows,
as our Fourth of July orators used to norate about
before the war. But speaking of pictures, Phil, ain't
there some humbug in this everlasting talk about
the old masters, as they call 'em ? I've been hearing
of them all my life, and often from people who, I am
certain, knew about as little about 'em as I do. Such
88 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
people have a sort of idea that these old masters, as you
call 'em, were a set of old fellows that painted, and
painted together a long time ago, in a sort of partner-
ship, and left some things which nobody could under-
stand, but which they thought was powerful smart, just
because they coald'nt understand it, and then these old
fellows died pretty much all together, and carried their
secret with 'em. Now, all such as this strikes me as a
piece of foolery. • But, were they so tremendous old?"
He frowned in the intensity of his doubts.
I answered his question ; he was astonished to hear
that Eaphael was only twenty-seven at his death.
" My goodness ! " said he, " I thought he was about a
thousand."
In answer to what I had to say about the preference
of men of taste for the older pictures, on account of the
prevalence of the ideal amongst them, and how this
ideal in art had been made in great part to give way to
the practical of trade and commerce, he asked :
"And ain't the world better off for the change ? "
" In some respects," I answered, " not in all. There
is room enough in the world for other things besides
trade. If a man is always at his work, or thinking
about it, he will get to be a sort of machine himself,
and, like all machines, will soon wear out. The ablest
and most thoughtful of the men of trade understand this
fact very well. They know into what a state the world
would grow if there were nothing but trade and physical
labor, and physical pleasures ; and so they build houses
like this, and put in them these great pictures of olden
times, and encourage modern artists to strive to produce
others like them. The effect of such things is something
like that of flowers, which you said were so helpful to
the poor. What do you say to that ? "
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 89
" You are about right, I suppose. My wife says that
what few pictures we own have done the children much
more good than the worth of the money they cost, and
I'm sure that the music my boys and girls make at home
make me feel younger, and perhaps be better than I
should without it. You are right, Phil. They are all
right. Let's go ahead."
We walked along, and soon were in Charing Cross.
" What do they call it that for ? You were to do the
history part, you know."
"Charing is the pronunciation the English common
people gave to Chere Reine — dear queen. This was the
place where the last halt was made while they were
bearing the body of Queen Eleanour, wife of Edward the
Eirst, to Westminster Abbey ; and here was the last of
the nine crosses which her husband caused to be erected
in her memory. It was taken down by the republicans
under Cromwell, and the stones used in paving the
street at Whitehall. But they paid for that desecration ;
for at the very place where the cross stood, the regicides
were beheaded. And here we are at old Whitehall, the
royal residence of the monarchs from Henry VIII to
William of Orange. In the latter's reign, all was burnt
down except the Banqueting Hall, which is now used as
a chapel. Just up yonder, where, you notice, the win-
dow has been bricked over, Charles I was beheaded."
"Do you suppose he had any idea of such as that
when from that old tower at Chester he saw his army
defeated?"
" Hardly. He probably had no apprehension, what-
ever else might happen, that they would take his life."
" Well, what do you think of my poetry now ? It
would'nt sound so bad here, eh ? "
8*
f) TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
"Not quite; but one would be more apt to think of it
presently."
We were walking slowly up Parliament street.
" That's a fine statue," said Jim, just as we reached
the head. ■
"A statue of the same king. It was sold by Parlia-
ment to a brazier with orders to break it in pieces and
apply it to other uses. But the buyer concealed it, and
at the Restoration of Charles II, made a great profit by
bringing it forth unhurt. But yonder is the place,
Jim, for your poetry about princes and their beds of
clay." Then we entered Westminster Abbey.
Two hours we spent in the sacred edifice we had both
so long desired to see. Silently and reverently we passed
along its transepts, and aisles, and chapels, reading and
musing upon the epitaphs of the great and the gifted
who were buried there, or to whom, though buried else-
where, cenotaphs were there erected. We paused not
long in the chapels where was the dust of the long lines
of kings and their offspring, but long enough to think
how small places hold the relics of the generations of
princes, Saxon, Norman, Plantagenet, Tudor, Stuart,
and Brunswick, and yet have room for uncounted gene-
rations to be brought there hereafter. The accidents of
life had made them great. These other tombs and ceno-
taphs outside the railings around the royal graves,
these were they on which we looked the longest, and
with solemnest emotions : statesmen and philanthropists,
poets and orators, warriors, on land and sea, all of them
heroes — some of gentle, but most of common blood.
Never was my mind so impressed with ideas of the
power of death, as, while standing amongst those mul-
titudes of the tombs of the great. First and last, and
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 91
longest we were in the Poet's Corner. In life, these
almost, without exception, had not been great nor happy.
Shakspeare, the lessee of Blackfriars and The Globe,
who had patiently borne
" The whips and scorns of time,"
and Chaucer in his old age, impoverished and humbly
repentant ; and Spenser, first an exile on the Mulla, and
afterwards a fugitive thence and finding death in a poor
inn in his native city ; Dryden, bartering intellect for
bread in Soho, leaving, when dead, not enough where-
withal to pay the cost of being carried to the grave;
Marlowe, struggling in vain with the ruffian for the
love of the poor wench of Deptford; Goldsmith, the
sizar of Trinity, and the many, many others ; some more
fortunate, some less. How sweetly had they sung in
their days, in spite of poverty, and neglect, and im-
providence and
"The spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes."
For, like the birds of song, they must sing, whether in
prison or in fields and orchards. Their times of honor
came latest, but they shall last longest. Shakespeare
and Leicester, Spenser and Kaleigh, Dryden and Buck-
ingham, Goldsmith and Newcastle. What, if both the
premier and the poet could have foreseen the future ?
It might have been well for one, but not for the other.
Such singings could have been rendered only by the
inspiration which comes from the seriousness of sorrow.
Yet there is compensation in nature, and most benign it
is that each prefers his own to another's lot. Achilles
93
TWO GRAY TO I EUST&
would have boon Aohillos over again, and Tithonus
would have boon Tithonus, though quick death snatched
the hero in his bloom, and old ago. when it could not
destroy, changed the bean into a grasshopper.
CHAPTER IX,
ELL," said Jim, after we had dined at a res-
taurant, and strolling out again, passed
the Bird-Cage walk and taken our seats be-
neath a tree overshadowing the smooth lake
in St. James' Park. " It's a grand, solemn, old place,
that abbey, but cold ! Ain't it cold ? I tell you that
way of burying don't suit me, Phil."
" Why not ? " I asked, just to hear what he had to say,
for I knew his sentiments, and in part shared them.
"You remember, how they used to laugh at me
when I was a child for being afraid of graveyards and
dead people ? "
"Very well. You were the scape-goat, Jim; for I
was myself as weak in that respect as you were."
" Well, sir," he continued, very gravely, " nobody in
this world, not even my mother, who was as careful and
tender of me as she could be, knew for some time what I
suffered. In a country neighborhood, like the one we
were raised in, deaths happen so seldom, that every one
makes a stronger impression than in towns. I remem-
ber that the first time I was ever in Augusta, and I was
then sixteen years old, I saw a hearse going along the
street, and I asked of a bystander, in a whisper, who it
was that was dead, and was astonished and shocked to
iind that he not only did'nt know, but did'nt seem to
(93)
94 TWO Gil AY T0U11ISTS.
care, while the rest of the people went along and acted
as if nothing uncommon had happened. In the country
it's different. When anyone dies, everybody goes to the
burying, and they talk about it for a long time after,
and about other deaths they knew about, and tell of
many things that happened, or were said to have hap-
pened, some about people having been buried alive.
The negroes in old times had tales to tell of ghosts, or
"spew-its? as they called 'era. Such as these used to
scare me nearly out of my life. I was tormented with
the idea that they would think I was dead when I
was'nt. I got so that if anybody held me down on the
ground I was badly frightened, and had a feeling of
suffocation, and thought of how it was going to be with
me in the grave. You see, Phil, I could'nt ever realize
that I should be dead. Well, my mother found out
some of this, not all ; and she took a wonderful amount of
pains with me, and always talked cheerfully about death.
Then she was careful with our graveyard, had more
trees and flowers planted in and around it, and used to
talk about how these would die in the winter and come
to life in the spring. Ever since then, I have had in
my mind spring flowers joined with the resurrection of
the dead ; and it always pains me to see a grave with
no flowers around it, and especially where flowers could'nt
grow if they were put there. The idea of death is
not so sad to me when I think about my grave being
in the open air, where my people, when I'm gone, can
come sometimes and tend the flowers and listen to the
birds singing over me. I've long ago quit being afraid
simply of the grave, especially since I've put away
some of my children — "
He paused— for his words would have tailed him.
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 95
"I agree with you fully, Jim," said I. "Time and
reflection have subdued most of my early fears. When
a boy, I used to be tormented with the very certainty of
having to die at last, even if I should resist the perils of
foregoing ages and survive to old age, horrified at the
ideas of the mattock, and the spade, and the darkness,
but — would you be young again, Jim?"
He considered a moment.
"No; not, by gracious, without Emily and the chil-
dren could, too. No, sir, not a day. A man that has*
been blest as I have, would be a rascal, if not a fool, to
want any such thing."
We rose, and wended our way into the' Mall, passing
Marlborough House, St. James', and Buckingham Pal-
aces into Green Park.
" They don't seem to use old St. James' much these
days. It looks dingy."
"It has not been used much," said I, "except on spe-
cial occasions, since George the Fourth, who gave it up
for Buckingham Palace. But its rooms are so spacious
that they hold great State occasions there. Many a gay
season have those walls witnessed, beginning with
Henry the Eighth."
" Yes ; now was'nt he a lively old cuss, with his seven
wives ? "
On we went, into Green Park, turning to view Staf-
ford, Spenser and Bridge water Houses.
"As our guide book says, Jim, that pretty mansion
with the bay windows belonged to the poet Kogers.
Greater numbers of illustrious men and fine women
have been entertained there than in any other private
house in the world, it is probable."
" I thought poets were always poor."
96 TWO GHAY TOUlilSTS.
"Generally they hare been; but lie was a wealthy
banker."
"That surprises me. Banking and poetry are two
things that I should seldom suppose would go along
together. Why not? Because one of 'em requires a
man to have common sense, and the other, so far as I've
seen, requires him to be without it. I don't know much
about poetry, that's a fact, But poets seem to me to do
exactly opposite to what bankers do. "While bankers go
right straight ahead, they go all around and about, and
have an immense amount of talk about nothing, or next
to nothing. And then they have a way of running
down money as if it was a thing too dirty for a man
with clean hands to touch. Was he a married man ? ''
"'No; bachelor."
"Ah ha ! there it is now."
"What is it?"
" If he'd been a married man, he'd have stuck to one
thing, banked, and let poetry go, or poeted, and let his
wife make a living for both. I expect the old fellow
met with an accident, as Joe Wiggins called it when
Bettie Ehodes kicked him. I bet his sweetheart mar-
ried a rich man, and he went to work to get money and
make her sorry that she did'nt take him ; and then he
went into poetry, just to keep up the idea that he was a
badly treated man."
" But for what purpose ? "
" Eor what purpose ? Why, sir, to make people sorry
for him ; or, if not that, to keep on being sorry for him-
self. Have'nt you noticed, Phil, that most people want
it to be believed that they've been badly treated ? It's
so; and it's specially so with these poets, it seems to
me ; and that's what makes 'em be so everlastingly talking
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 97
about broken hearts, and blighted prospects, and com-
paring themselves to withered leaves, and broken links,
and dried-up springs, and pretending to want to die
right away, and — all such. Yes, I thought he must be
a bachelor."
" But his was one of the healthiest minds that ever
was."
"Oh, he might have been healthy enough. I'm not
talking about the old fellow's health. They are all of
'em healthy enough, Phil, as to that, and can eat their
allowance when they can get it ; but, I tell you, he met
with an accident, or he never would have mixed up
poetry with banking. Well, I'm thankful that he was
liberal with his money. Many a poor fellow, I suppose,
praised the old man's poetry and got a good dinner
which he could'nt have had at home."
"Shade of Rogers— "
" Come, come now, Phil, don't you begin. You've
got something of a hankering that way I know," and he
punched me playfully.
"We turned up Constitution Hill, the Palace Gardens
on our left. To our right, men, women and children,
and even numbers of sheep were walking, or lying
on the green grass. It seemed the outskirts of a
country town. The gardens on our left and the growth
on the east, skirting Piccadilly, excluded the sight and
almost the sound of the city. What a blessing such an
open green space to the poor ; for we noticed that most
of those whom we then saw were of this class.
" Have you any pennies about you, Phil ? I'm out,
and I hate to pass that poor woman without buying
something from her."
His pockets were then full of boxes of matches and
98 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
such other trifling things as the poorest vend along the
public walks. As we passed the woman, being without
small change, he emptied his purchases into her basket
and passed on.
It is a sudden transition from Green to Hyde Park on
a summer afternoon. Emerging through the west gate
of the former, the multitudes in carriages, on horseback,
and on foot that one sees pouring up Piccadilly, warn
him that he is at the favorite resort of the middle and
upper classes of London, and he knows that other mul-
titudes are gathering along Park Lane and Oxford
street. As we passed in view of Apsley House and the
statue in honor of Wellington, Jim, looking at the latter,
asked why they had put upon it such a costume, and
being told, answered :
" Well, they may compare him with Achilles, or any
others of the Greeks and Komans ; but if it had'nt been
for Blucher, Napoleon would have whipped him. How-
ever, I like to see a people stand up to their own men.
Even if I believed that there ever were two greater men
than General Washington and General Lee, I should'nt
think it was right to say so."
We edged our way through the throngs, and passed
under the arch into the enclosure.
" You like live places, you say, Jim. Is this enough
for you ? "
"Plenty."
Surely, no where on this earth is to be seen a fuller
display of life in its abandon of business for the enjoy-
ment of leisure. Thickest about Eotten Eow and the
King, yet there seemed no place in the great enclosure of
four hundred acres where there was not life in liveliest
relish. Jim looked alternately upon the endless lines
TWO GKAY TOUHISTS. 99
of equipages, equestrians, and pedestrians with unabated
delight; for although as little envious as any man I
know either of the rich or the young, he had exquisite
pleasure in the sight of enterprise and activity. We
took our seats on one of the benches on the edge of Rotten
Eow. He pulled out his watch, held it in his hands ten
minutes, without saying a word. Suddenly he turned
to me and said :
" It beats the world. I have counted, in ten minutes,
over four hundred carriages, just like that passing now
with that elegant pair of greys, all the drivers grey
headed and with fat legs. But they handle the reins
better than those fellows over there on horseback. I can
beat any of them I see riding. They don't seem to
know how to sit on trotters, but gallop themselves
while the horses are trotting."
"And here's the Serpentine, as they call it. All this
water is supplied by the Chelsea Company. Those
houses are put up, they tell me, for taking care of
people who happen to break through the ice here in
winter time while skating."
We advanced into the Kensington Road, strolled
past Albert Hall and Albert Memorial, and entered
Kensington Gardens.
" No great shakes that old palace, Phil. I guess the
queen don't stay here much."
" Not at all. The Count and Countess of Teck reside
here. The queen was born here, you know. Little
thought her father, the Duke of Kent, then that she
would ever be queen."
"I suppose not. "No danger of her line giving out.
They say there are about thirty of 'em already. There
has never been much talk of her marrying again."
l of a
100 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
"I have no idea that she ever had any notion that
way herself."
" Sensible woman. At her time of life, with as many
children as she has, nobody, woman or man, has any
business marrying again. Too set in their ways. Well,
she made a good wife and a happy one, and it was be-
cause she married to suit herself. I believe in that
strong, for high and low, rich and poor. Four hundred
acres in this park ! and the map shows that Regent's,
the biggest of 'em all, is not far off. No wonder London
is the healthiest of all the big cities. See, here's a stretch
of nearly three miles of open country from Westminster.
Why don't our people in the United States learn some-
thing of the importance of open places in the big towns,
where the people can get some fresh air ? And that's
the reason why I thought as I did about them con-
founded old Chester walls — "
"Jim," said I, "my notion is to ride home. I am
tired of footing it. Here we are in the Uxbridge Road,
the same as Oxford street."
"All right. Hello, Hansom. To the Langham.
Eighteen pence ? You know it is'nt over two miles;
but go ahead. You look like a clever fellow. Quick ;
my old friend here is tired, and I think a cup of 'arf-
and-'arf would suit you ; so be quick, my lad."
At the hotel that night an incident occurred which I
do not believe that one of the parties interested in it can
have forgotten. Among the acquaintances which my
friend, whose qualities in that regard were more facile
than mine, had made was a young American who pro-
fessed to be from the State of Missouri. He, together
with a companion, a youth of about his own age, had
been sight seeing in London for a couple of weeks, and
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 101
were purposing to leave the next day for the continent.
While I was looking over the map, arranging my own
plans for the morrow, Jim, who had announced his
intention of going around generally, as he styled it, sat
for some time and talked with* the young man, to whom
he had taken, he said, a fancy, on account of his friendly
ways.
" It's so seldom you know, Phil, that one of these young
fellows cares about having much to do with old fellows
like us. He's been well raised."
After a while, the young men rose and left the smok-
ing-room. Jim then came to the table by which I was
sitting, and, after inquiring, in his usual way, what old
piece of furniture I was after next, said :
" Phil, there's a place we must see together," pointing
to a large building some distance beyond the continuing
of Piccadilly into Coventry street.
" Why, what do you mean, Jim ? That's the Argyle
Booms."*
"I know that; but that young fellow — and he's
studied this town well, he says — he tells me that's the
only place here where strangers can see, without regular
introduction, the upper classes. Not that I care spe-
cially about the upper classes, but I did think I would
like to see some of 'em one time, just to notice how they
carried themselves."
I gave him a short account of this establishment. He
sat for some time silent, then spoke :
" I would'nt have believed it ; it is'nt often that I'm
deceived in a man, but I suppose everybody is liable to
be sometimes."
We sat for an hour or so together, talking of what we
* Here resort leading characters in the demi-monde.
9*
102 TWO GILAY TOURISTS.
had seen. I noticed that he frequently looked to the
door whenever any one entered, and twice, after excus-
ing himself, he had gone to the great hall and returned.
At ten o'clock I proposed to retire. Jim said he would'nt
keep me up, but he thought he would'nt go just yet. I
turned to the table, took a sheet of paper, and began to
write. He sat smoking his cigar, and slowly patted his
foot with his cane. After a few minutes he rose, and
I noticed that the young men had returned.
" Oh ! how are you ? " said the Missourian, addressing
Jim. "Up yet? I supposed you had gone to bed.
Glad to see you again. Been out ? "
" No," said Jim, blandly " I've been waiting to see
you once more, and tell you good-bye."
" Oh, you are very kind."
I folded my papers quickly.
" Yes," continued Jim, smiling more and more, " you've
been so kind to me since I've been here, and made me
so many valuable suggestions that I've been thinking
about you for a couple of hours; and as I knew you
were going to leave to-morrow morning, and might get
off before I could see you, I made up my mind not to
go to bed until you came back "
Then he shrugged his shoulders, and his face had
the expression somewhat of a man who Avas about to sit
down to a good dinner. The other seemed somewhat
uncertain.
" Let me ask you a question or two, my young friend.
You are from Missouri, I think you said. Yes. Well,
have you ever found out, either from your own acquaint-
ance or from other people's telling you, where the best
society is there, and what sort of people they are that
make it?"
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 103
" I don't understand yon, sir."
" I see }rou don't ; but I'm going to explain right away,
for it's important to you."
He spoke in low tones, and with his back turned
towards the bar, where two of the girls sat. Then,
taking up the map, he said :
" You deceived me about the character of that place,
sir."
The young man smiled derisively.
" What do you say, sir ? " asked Jim, very mildly.
" I say that nobody but an old — "
" Say that or anything like that any further, if you
dare."
Several gentlemen in the room, notwithstanding the
low tones in which this conversation had been conducted,
noticed that something unusual was going on, and they
looked towards the disputants. One of the maids
glanced out of her window for a moment, and then drew
down the glass. Jim seemed as if he was just ready for
his dinner. The other whispered with his companion,
and patronizingly said :
" You are too old a man, sir, for me to have a diffi-
culty with." Then he was turning away, when Jim
seized him by the arm and drew him facing.
"No, sir, not quite yet; in a moment or so. Old
man, indeed! I thought maybe you would apologize
for your conduct; but that did'nt seem to suit your
ideas of good society, and all you have to say is about
your not wanting to have difficulties with old people.
If I had been young, there would'nt have been any occa-
sion for difficulties. You are not a man for difficulties
with young or old, unless they are too old to take any
care of themselves. Oh, you've got to stand here until
104 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
I get through with you. /want no further difficulty
with you, more than to tell you what I am telling you ;
and if you change your mind, and think I'm not quite
too old for you, and conclude to have a difficulty, look
here; do you see that window? I'll take you up by the
neck and breeches and drop you out there on the pave-
ment. You took that liberty because I was, as you
have no better manners than to call me, an old man, and
you thought you would be safe in it. Young man, no
man that thinks anything of himself or the people
that bore him, would try to lead any other man, old or
young, into places where the presumption is he would
be sorry and ashamed to have been ; and when one does
such a thing with me, I'm bound to tell him that he is
not only a scamp, but a coward. Now, you can go.
But be quiet about it. It depends entirely on how quiet
you are, whether you go out at the door or there."
Loosing him, he pointed to the window. The young
man was livid with rage; but his companion, with the
air of one bent on preventing a very dangerous person
from doing great damage, led him away. "When they
had reached the door, the Missourian turned suddenly
round. Jim walked briskly towards him, shaking his
left hand towards the bar in token of silence, and
pointing with the thumb of his right backward omi-
nously towards the window. They vanished without
another word.
"Served him right," exclaimed, but not loudly, a
young man from the same State who was standing near,
and the rest, young and old, echoed the sentiment.
" Old man, indeed ! " said Jim, witji a tremulous
laugh, "I could thrash out a cowpen full of such as
him ; yes, a quarterly meeting of 'em. Now, Phil, I'm
ready for bed,"
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 105
"I'm not" said I. "You've put me wide awake.
My dear Jim, I'm afraid you have not considered how
far the pavement is below that window, nor how hard
it is."
" That was'nt a part of my business."
In five minutes after we got into bed, he was asleep.
CHAPTER X
HE following morning we went out each in
pursuit of the objects he preferred to visit.
To me, it was continuously interesting to travel
over places of historic renown, lingering as
long as possible at each, and having my reluctance at
leaving it consoled in quick succession by the sight of
another. I dismissed my cab at Somerset House. Al-
though this massive, solid structure was now filled,
for the most part, with government offices, yet I was
fond to recur to the old palace which formerly occupied
the same ground, where the great Protector for whom it
was named, dwelt, and later, where the queens of the
First and Second Charles held their courts. Here,I mused,
began, under the brilliant Henrietta Maria, the revolu-
tion in the literature of England, not less important
than the political events which the introduction of
foreign manners and tastes was destined to produce.
As, in the days of the Conqueror, the proud Norman
disdained the simple-minded Saxon, and sought for the
native tongue of that people to substitute the polished
language of the South, so now, that young gifted queen
and her courtiers inaugurated, with Cowley and his like,
that change which culminated in Dryden and Congreve,
and Pope, and delayed for a hundred years the native Eng-
lish growth. Leaving this place and strolling into the
(106)
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 107
Strand, to the left was the old Globe Theatre, in front the
Church of St. Clement Danes, in whose yard lay Otway
and Lea ; then into the Fleet — famous old Fleet, crowded
from end to end with recollections of the work and the
travail of men of letters. How heavy on them were the
burthens of life, as, hungry, and thirsty, and ragged,
they pleaded with book publishers and play managers
for the purchase of those soiled and blotted manuscripts
which were to delight the generations to follow ! Then
to Temple Par, where many a king has waited for the
bar and chains to be lowered before passing from West-
minster upon the priviledged soil of the old city, and
where many a dissevered head has hung on high tc
show to the world how terrible is the vengeance oi
princes. Turning to the right, I made my way to the
Temple. Eight hundred years ago ! How brave, how
powerful those old knights ! In this church, so fault-
less in its Norman architecture, they worshipped. How
different they from these Benchers of the Middle and
Inner ! Yet other names besides those of knights and
benchers are here. On that plain, marble slab in the
churchyard, close to the choir, are these words : " Here
lies the body of Oliver Goldsmith." Near that gate once
resided Samuel Johnson. How often these two, the
strong man and the weak, trod these places together ;
the one so helpless from the absence of all self-reliance,
the other so imperious from the remembrance of the
things over which, without help or sympathy, he had
triumphed ! The one fearing, yet relying upon the other,
and that other contemning but protecting him, suspect-
ing yet not fully knowing how great was he. How little
either could foresee their posthumous relationship! I
wonder what each thought of the comparative worth of
108 TWO GKAY TOURISTS.
Rasselas and the Vicar of Wakefield ; of London and the
Traveller ; of Irene, and She Stoops to Conquer. In this
lovely garden, doubtless, many a time on summer even-
ings they sat down together and talked, scolding and
pleading, yet never thinking of parting from each other
for good: — not until the harmless quack should doctor
himself to death, and be laid away in this churchyard.
In these gardens also, Shakspeare had often sat and
meditated. Yonder, among that plantation of rose trees,
York and Lancaster plucked the badges preparatory to
the wars of thirty years. Along these walks the great
of earth — princes, statesmen, warriors, poets, judges,
philosophers — have strolled for longer time and in
greater numbers than on any other grounds of equal
limits and similar purposes in Christendom. Not that
the poets in the olden times were often there before
nightfall. For their apparel was ragged, and, in spite
of these, the bailiffs were watchful. Yet Whitefriars
was not far away with the protecting Alsatia, from
which, but not too far from which, they and the thieves
might steal in the darkness to the sweet arbors and
smell the flowers and balmy evening air.
Back to the Fleet. There is St. Dunstan's, famous
for the wooden giants long removed, and now striking
the hours for the Marquis of Hertfordshire in Regent's
Park ; before me, to the right, the beautiful spire of St.
Bride's, the masterpiece of Sir Christopher. In the
churchyard lie Milton and Butler ; how near each other
now, how far apart when alive ! Wynkin de Worde lies
here also. In Shoe Lane, hard by, dwelt Ben Jonson ;
and in the workhouse graveyard was buried Chatterton.
Not far off Dryden once dwelt, but afterwards in Soho,
where he died, In the Blue Ball Court lived Richard-
TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 109
son ; in Bolt street died Johnson. I passed on to Lud«
gate Hill, where was the city-gate of King Lud long
before the days of Caesar ; thence to Newgate and the
Old Bailey. What a book it would be that should chron-
icle all the sufferings that have been endured here!
There were yet the notches in the stones on which the
gallows was erected ; and yonder St. Sepulchre's, from
whose steps the nosegay was extended to the doomed,
and whose bell tolled the funeral knell.
Another flood of historic recollections met me as,
turning again, I found myself in St. Paul's church-
yard. Boman, Briton, Pagan and Christian worshipped
and suffered within this semicircle of the "Bow and
String." The great Diana once had a temple here.
Here was one of the fires with which Diocletian the
slave ravaged the Christian world. A little later an-
other sprang up on the ruins, which, in its turn, fell
before the Saxon in the reign of Constantine. And yet
another was built by the pious hands of Ethelbert of
Kent. Then, after other sequences of overthrows,
there rose this majestic structure, destined to immor-
talize its builder, and be one of the wonders of the
world. I entered, and as I cast my eyes up to the vast
concave, it seemed to be the most fitting of all places I
had yet seen for the worship of the King of Kings. I
ascended first to the Whispering Gallery and afterwards
stood upon the high parapet around the dome and
looked upon the pigmies in the street below. What
varying scenes have been enacted in the thorough-
fares along this lofty pile. The history of the British
drama is most intimately associated with St. Paul's.
Merry times had the ecclesiastics there, when return-
ing from the Council of Constance they brought back
10
110 TWO GllAY TOUltfSTS.
from the East the Mysteries and Miracle Plays. What
a droll budget of religious fnn was that Sacred Comedy,
in which our arch enemy was whipped, and pinched,
and knocked down, and trampled upon, amid the roars
of laughter which this pious frolicking would evoke.
Such scenes must in time be removed from the precincts
of the House of God to the universities ; but the mer-
chandizing will go on around the churchyard until
now, when even strangers can notice that the bargains
offered are suspiciously cheap and the shopkeepers too
eagerly solicitous.
Having to meet my friend for a joint visit to the
Tower, I called a cab and drove rapidly on Cannon, East
Cheap, and Lombard streets, stopping once on the way
to look upon that other notable work of Wren — the
Monument — a splendid Doric column of fluted Portland
stone; a memento, not only of the fire of 1666, but of
the folly and madness which attributed it to the Catholics.
The great Protestant city, in the consciousness of its
security against all assaults except those of the devil,
and believing this calamity to be due to his machina-
tions, in the absence of the power to avenge itself on
him, could at least erect this lofty column, place upon
it a burning urn, and record upon the plinth its angry
protest against the Antichrist who had stimulated his
followers to the perpetration of that horrible crime.
Removed under James II, restored under William of
Orange, it was made to disappear finally under the mild
reign of William IV.
Punctually to the hour of appointment, Jim and I
met at the Tower Gate.
" You look tired and serious, Phil, like a man that's
been to a burying. Seen any old priories to-day ? "
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. Ill
« Not exactly."
"Where they used to be, I suppose. Well, while
you ve been rummaging about among the dead, I've been
mixing with the living ; for this big town has a plenty
of both. You do look tired. It is'nt quite dinner time
yet; but had'nt we better fall in around here some-
where and get it before going into this old concern. I'll
bet you have'nt had even any lunch."
" No, indeed. I have'nt had time to think about it ;
but it will be too late to see the Tower after dinner."
"All right. I've had my lunch punctually at twelve.
I tell you this English beer grows on a fellow. I don't
think a glass would hurt me now, and I know one would
do you good. We've got ten minutes. That fancy-
dressed old chap there, the keeper tells me, is waiting
for the half hour to be out, to start with a new batch of
visitors. I don't know how you feel," he continued,
after we had taken the beer, " but you look better. You
see, old gentleman, that a man has to take something in
his stomach occasionally, even while he is working in
old graveyards. Now for the beef-eater * as they call
him."
Solemn as the place was in its recollections of the suf-
ferings of ages, yet Jim, and so did I, thought they were
needlessly magnified by the measured sepulchral tones
of the guide.
" Did you ever," Jim whispered, " hear such a solemn
old customer ? That fellow's in debt, or lost his wife, or
been henpecked, or had his house burnt up, or had no
beef for his dinner to-day, or don't expect any. Upon
my word, he makes me feel like I had been confined
* Buffetiers are so named those who conduct visitors through the
Tower.
112 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
here myself twenty years or such a matter. Besides, I
don't understand hal f that he says."
"He is a hiffctier, you know, Jim, and your mind is
apt to become a little confused when it gets upon the
bvffet. Can't you ask him to repeat, as you did the
woman at Warwick ? "
"Not if I know myself. Not an extra syllable would
I wish .to hear of that sort of talk. I suppose that
being here so long, he's got to be like the place.*'
It required about an hour to make the regular circuit.
When we emerged, Jim took off his hat, and looking
back at the ancient fortress, announced that he had seen
it one time. Then we took a hansom and rode to a res-
taurant on the Poultry.
" Things are even nicer here than we had yesterday,
Phil. Let's just one time get a square dinner, and talk
it all over. We've done a big clay's work, and we want
some rest, and then it will make us feel rich to be dining
down here among the big merchants and imagine we
own a big store apiece on Cheapside, or Leadenhall, or
Threadneedle, or Bishopgate, or some other of these out-
landish named streets. Now ain't it curious, into what
a small bulk great riches may be pressed when you
put 'em into jewels? Why a fellow could carry all
those crown -jewels we saw just now in a tolerable sized
basket. It gives me a sort of contempt for money when
I see so much of it in such a small lump. What pleased
me most of all I saw in that old Tower, was old Queen
Elizabeth, standing there in the Spanish Armory with
the same clothes she wore when she spoke to her army
at Tilbury. The old lady was on her metal that day,
sure. You don't suppose she meant what she said about
going herself to fight the Spaniards?"
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 113
"I should'nt be surprised. She was a woman of a
mighty spirit, and then she had a glorious precedent in
one of her predecessors, Queen Boadicea. But what
interested me most was the room in which Raleigh
languished and wrote his history."
"I can't see how any man, no matter how good a
writer he might be, could make a book in such a place
as that."
"Ah ! there lies the interest. I know of nothing in
the history of literature so melancholy. The gayest,
cheeriest, brightest, most gallant of all knights, the
great discoverer, the sweet poet, the Shepherd of Ocean,
as his friend Spenser called him, to languish in that
prison, without guilt, from manhood to old age by order
of the meanest of kings, while his wife, on the hill just
outside the walls, mourned with her son their captive
husband and father ! What must such a man do in his
captivity with that mind so active, so generous? He
can only write. He must write — not poetry: for the
pipe of the Shepherd has been broken and he must see
ocean's billows, or even green fields and restful shades
no more. Therefore, he will delude some of the loneli-
ness of captivity by writing history. And a history of
what ? Not of England, or of France, or of Germany,
or his own Orinoco; or of the Roman Empire, or of
Europe. No. Such a history might be finished in his
lifetime, and leave him unemployed. Therefore he will
undertake a work that never can be completed, in the
midst of which he will be able to look ever forward to
a goal. So he takes the history of the world! His
mind, untrammeled, began away back in the Golden
Age, remote from the times of Tudor and Stuart, and
wandered over the historic fields of Asia. He had
barely crossed the Bosphorus and the Aegean, and was
114 IWO UK AY TOURISTS.
narrating the deeds off the Macedonian Empire when
the doors of his prison were opened, and the historian
Mas carried, with the block and the axe, to the summit
of Tower Hill."
-That stopped that business. Oh, those old kings!
I suppose, when Anne Boleyn's time came, they thought
it would 'nt do to cut off her head where other people's
had been, and they had it done there in the court.
How do yon suppose old Queen Elizabeth felt when
she would go near that place?"
u She never went there. With her, the Tower ceased
altogether to be used as a royal residence."
" She showed 'em though that Anne Boleyn's daughter
could hold her own with the best of 'em in cutting off
heads. They say the poor old woman died a horrible
death. She had better died along with her mother."
''Indeed, she had. That death-bed was the mosi
tragic in the history of princes."
AVe rose from dinner and strolled leisurely amongst
the dense throngs in Lombard, Cornhill, and Bishops-
gate, along by old Crosby Place.
"The idea that Crosby Place/' I said, "so connected
in renown with the Yorks and the AVarwicks should
become a restaurant."
" Crosby Place ? Crosby Place ? I remember it now.
It was where Anne of Warwick was to meet King
Richard. I can quote some of his words :
That it may please you leave these sad designs
To him that hath most cause to be a mourner,
And presently repair to Crosby Place,
Where, after I have solemnly interred
At Ohertsey monastery this noble kin.ix.
And wet his grave with my repentant tears,
1 will with all expedient duty see you.
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 115
He got her, but he did'nt keep her long, as he said he
would'nt. A restaurant, eh ? That's not so bad. Times
have changed. The main business of those old times
seems to have been to find out the most effectual ways
of killing people in order to put up and put down kings.
Now, it is how to let people live longer and more com-
fortably by giving them better houses, better clothes,
and better victuals. So, I say, go it, Crosby. Set the
best dinners you can ; you are in much better business
taking in people to feed 'em than having young widows
moping about and being courted by the assassins of
their husbands. Ain't it so, old man?"
"I give it up."
"Well, let's go on."
On to Lothebury, where Founder's Court suggests the
great copper foundries that had to give way to banking
houses; across Moorgate into Gresham; to Guildhall.
Here we entered for a few moments. They were taking
up the carpets from the great hall in which a State
dinner was lately had. There were Gog and Magog,
" two more unlikely old cusses," Jim said, " he should
seldom, etc." We looked admiringly upon the statues
of the two Pitts and Mayor Beckford.
" See what a brave man, Jim, can say to a king when
the right of petition is denied : ' Permit me, sire, farther
to observe, that whoever has already dared, or shall
hereafter endeavor, by false insinuations and suggestions,
to alienate your majesty's affections from your loyal sub-
jects in general, and from the city of London in par-
ticular, and to withdraw your confidence in, and regard
for your people, is an enemy to your majesty's person
and family, a violator of the public peace, and a betrayer
of our happy constitution, as it was established at the
glorious and necessary revolution."
116 TWO GKAY TOtTRi&TS.
"That was the way to talk it," said Jim. " It was
that sort of pluck that brought these old kings down
after a time, and learned 'em to be reasonable. And
now, I'm for going back to the Langham. I'm tired.
Besides, I've got my head full of more things than I
shall ever remember the half of."
"Well, let's just go down King street into Cheapside
and look at Bow Church for a moment, and then we'll
take a cab."
"Are you going inside? No? I will go with you,-
then. This Cheapside is about the busiest street we've
seen."
" It is the most crowded street in London, perhaps in
the world. It was the northern boundary of the city in
the time of the Romans. Long afterwards were held
here the tournaments in the time of the Edwards.
Here also was another of the "nine crosses which Edward
erected for the "dear queen." Like that of Charing Cross,
it was torn down by the regicides. Cheapside is now
the centre of the retail trade. And, now, we are in the
centre of cockneydom. There is Bow Church."
"A good-looking building, and a capital steeple. How
old is it?"
"About the age of St. Paul's. It has the best chime
of bells, they say, in London."
" I hope they won't sound 'em till I get away. That's
a music I don't fancy. Why do they call those cockneys
that live within the sound of the Bow bells ? "
"Cockney was a name of reproach that outsiders
gave to city people, on account of their luxurious and
effeminate habits. It geems now to apply only to those
who know little except city matters, and believe none
others are worth knowing."
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. lit
As we passed slowly along in the cab, I pointed out
the Old Bailey and St. Sepulchre's.
"A curious name," said he, " for a church whose bell
tolls while they are hanging folks. From the looks of
both of 'em, the church and the gaol, I should say that
both of those things had been going on some time. Do
you know, Phil, I hate the very looks of a gaol ? "
" That's not uncommon with some people."
" Oh, I don't mean that I'm much afraid of 'em for
my own sake; although along towards the last of the
war, when they were getting so fond of grabbing up
people, I did'nt know what might become of me when
those little enrolling and impressment officers might get
a little more audacious. But I hate the looks of gaols
for other people. My opinion is, that the keeping a
man in a place like that a long time does him more harm
than good. You see how it has been since imprison-
ment for debt has been stopped. In old times people
could'nt pay their debts while they lay in gaols, and
when they got out, they would'nt. They do so now
more punctually and honestly than before. As for close
confinement for crimes, that, nine times in ten, makes
men worse. I've noticed that all my life."
« Why what else could society do with criminals who,
not bad enough for hanging, should go without confine-
ment?"
"Whip 'em, my gracious! whip 'em for small crimes,
and drive 'em out of the country for great ones, with
the understanding if they come back within a certain
time and are caught, they shall be hung."
" Moving them, eh ? What about other communities ?
Such people, according to your plan, would be coming-
in as well as going out."
118 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
"Thill's so, and in that way every poor fellow would
have a chance to improve himself by getting into a new
community. I tell you, Phil, that the punishment that
people dread more than anything else, except death, is
to be driven away out of their native and regular beats,
and — hello! I know where I am now. I've been all
over this region to-day. This is the Holborn Viaduct.
While you've been prowling around among the insides
of those old temples and houses and things, I've been
studying the modern improvements. When I get a
chance at you, I'm going to make you understand,
whether you will or not, something about the great
works that are in this town. Now, here's this Holborn
Viaduct," and he proceeded with the account, which I
foresaw was to be an extended one. He was telling how,
just below where we were then, the old Fleet Ditch,
once a stream between Holborn and the Hill, used
to run, and how the Fleet Ditch water was supplied, and
what a nuisance both of them used to be. " Hold on,
Jim," said I, " a minute. There's Lincoln's Inn Fields,
where the Chancellor and Vice -Chancellor hold their
courts. Over to the right is Gray's Inn, and just beyond
Lincoln's Inn is the College of Surgeons."
" Drive up, coachman, let's get out of this neighbor-
hood as soon as possible."
CHAPTER XI,
HE next couple of days were spent similarly
to the last. While I visited places of historic
interest, Jim busied himself with studying
the great public works and manufactories
taking an occasional ride on the omnibuses through-
out a part of their lines. We met for dinner at some
convenient place, and afterwards repaired, the first day,
to Victoria Park, and the second to the Zoological
Gardens. On the Saturday morning after our arrival,
we concluded to take an excursion to Windsor. A ride
of a few minutes carried us* to. the ancient town. As
the queen was sojourning there, we could see only the
portions separated from the apartments occupied by
the royal family.
" The castle is about as big as the town," said Jim.
A It is supported mainly by visitors who come here, they
say. How old is the castle ? old enough for you ? "
"Yes, indeed; the Saxon kings resided here long
before the Norman Conquest. But their palace was
pulled down, and William the Conqueror began the
erection of the present one."
"Well, I think it looks well for 'em to give their
queen-bee a big establishment. She is the head of the
whole, and such an institution makes her look greater
to the world. More than that, she's a good woman,
(119)
120 TWO GEAY TOUEISTS.
married young the man she loved, was true to him, had
a heap of children by him, and when he died, behaved
like a sensible widow, and stayed single."
We entered through the gate next to the town, and
merely glancing at the chapel, ascended the royal stair-
case which led to the summit of John's Tower. The view
from this, we enjoyed much. Below us, across the
Thames, was Eton College, where, since the days of
Henry VI, so many of the sons of the nobility and
gentry, afterwards become illustrious, received their
preparatory education. Lifting our eyes, we could
descry Stoke-Pogis, and to its right, Harrow, another of
the great schools of England. There, thinking of the
past history of the tower, my mind vividly recalled that
royal poet, James of Scotland, who, while listening to
the nightingale singing in a juniper tree in the garden
below, soothed his captivity by musing and writing thus
of his love, the beautiful Joana Beaufort. I repeated
the lines.
" Now was there made fast by the Toures wall,
A garden faire, and in the corners set,
Ane herber green, with wandes long and small,
Railed about ; and so with trees set
Was all the place, and hawthorne hedges knit
That life was none walking there forby
That might within scarce any wight espy.
So thick the bewes, and the leaves green
Beshaded all the alleys that there were,
And middes every herber might be seen
The sharpe, greene, sweete juniper,
Growing so fair with branches here and th«re,
That as it seemed to a life without
The bewes spread the herber all about.
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 121
And on the smale greene twistes sate
The little sweete nightingale and sung
So loud and clear the hymnes consecrate
Of love's use, now soft and loud among,
That all the garden and the walles rung
Right of their song, and on the couple next
Of their sweet harmony, and lo, the text.
IV.
Worshippe ye that lovers been, this May,
For of your bliss the kalends are begun.
And sing with us, Away, Winter, away,
Come Summer, come, the sweet season and sun.
Awake for shame, that have your heavens won,
And amorously lift up your headdes all ;
Hark Love, that list you to his mercy, call."
"What little I could understand of that sounded
moderate But no more than about half of it was Eng-
lish, eh?"
"All of it was English: old English. That is very
sweet, Jim. It has been greatly admired as well as very
much more that he wrote of the same sort ; for he was a
captive here eighteen years."
" Did he get the girl at last ? "
"Yes."
" Well, women, so you praise 'em, it makes not much
difference what foolishness you talk."
We descended, and went through the royal mews.
"And horses and carriages according," said Jim. "The
widow keeps a full team certain. So-so, Flora (patting
gently the queen's favorite riding pony), carriage-horses,
barouche-horses, phaeton-horses, buggy-horses, saddle-
horses, and ponies. Grey seems to be the favorite color
here; mine, too, next to chestnut sorrel."
11
122 TWO GEAY TOUKISTS.
Emerging from the castle, we took a carriage, and
drove upon the Long Walk, in the shade of those
magnificent elms planted two hundred years ago by
Charles II, by Frogmore, the equestrian statue of George
IV, towards Windsor Forest."
"Hearn's oak ! " exclaimed Jim, when we had reached
it. " Here those Windsor wives had their final settle-
ment with old Jack. Was'nt that Ford a fool? Still
that wife of his was, for a married woman, right sassy.
And Shakspeare wrote that just to oblige the queen,
who wanted to see old Jack in love ? Fine, genteel set,
those ladies must have been, sitting up there laughing at
such talk and such carryings on generally."
Without going on to Virginia water, we took the first
turning and drove around by Datchett's, thus making a
semi-circle of the castle. Returning by the famous Dat-
chett's Mead, Jim again apostrophized the knight.
" Poor, dear old Jack ! they were too many for him,
were'nt they ? But he was slow to take a hint certain,
and give up the chase. I should have thought that-
after coming out of the river alive, and that buck basket
to boot, he would have concluded it was a lost ball.
But he had to be beat half to death afterwards, and
pinched all over before he could come to his senses.
And not to know that he was'nt the beau for that sort
of business. Haven't you noticed, Phil, that men who
are the quickest to take up the notion that women are dead
in love with 'em, have the least showing for such notion,
and are the easiest flattered and made fools of ? "
" Often. That's the compensation which nature be-
stows, or which they make for themselves in the absence
of pleasing qualities. None but the abject like to feel
that they are objects of disgust or commiseration. Men
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 123
ignore their own infirmities, and by frequent endeavors
to induce others to regard them as advantages, learn in
time to do so themselves Thus it is, I think, that such
weaknesses become sometimes well compensated. Ignor-
ance of their existence keeps down envy, which, after
remorse, is probably the most painful emotion of the
human heart. We seldom meet a person, who, whatever
little he may have to brag about, does not believe that
little better than what other people have of the same
sort, and simply because it is his."
"No doubt about that. I know a case in point.
There's Jim Hester ; you remember him ? "
"Very well."
"You know what a clever, good-natured, good-for-
nothing fellow he was. Well, low down as old Jim
went, after his father and mother died, who had kept
him up, he had a notion that in spite of his laziness and
poverty and general good-for-nothingness, he was still
holding up tolerably well. His brother in-law, Dave
Towns, let him live with him, you know. Dave fed him,
but he told him he must get his clothes for himself.
Jim got pretty seedy in time, and at last he wore out his
last coat. This made him stay more about home than
he used to; but it didn't pliase his good humor. I
never shall forget a remark he made to me one morning.
It was before the war, and before I had quit fox-hunting.
It was a mighty frosty morning. As my hounds were
running near Dave Towns' house, old Jim came out on
one of the plough-horses without any coat on, and joined
in the race! ' Hello, Jim,' says I, 'good morning;
pretty cold morning to be without your coat, aint it ? '
I wish yon could have seen him smile, as he opened his
shirt, and showed another underneath. < Major Rawls/
124 TWO GEAY TOURISTS.
said he, ' haint you never found out that two shirts and
a westcot is the warmest dress a man can war ? ' And
then he looked as if he had me where it wasn't any use
to try to get away. What do you think of that ? "
"A capital illustration. Jim believed what he said,
or, what was better, he thought you did: this com-
pensated for the want of a coat, and served to subdue
his shame for not owning one. When conceit takes that
shape, it does no harm. Jim Hester was a philosopher
without knowing it."
" He was that, or something, certain ; and so it was
with old Jack. He had carried that mountain of flesh
so long, that he at last, not only got reconciled to it, but
believed it becoming, and that it made him a woman-
killer, until at last the prince, now become king, threw
him overboard. That undeceived him, and killed his
heart. It was a mean thing in the king to do it. He
might have given the old fellow some little office or
other that would have kept him from breaking com-
pletely down. I don't believe in anybody getting too
good all of a sudden, and dropping old companions."
Hastening back to the city, we took a cab for Hampton
Court. Lingering for a short visit at Kensington
Museum, in about an hour's time we were at Kew, once
the favorite residence of George III. In a not preten-
tious palace on one side of the green, then resided a
prince and princess of the blood royal. The view from
the corner of the green next the gardens is very pleas-
ing. The mansions seen through the trees overshadow-
ing its borders, and the church standing diagonally
across, make an agreeable picture.
" There's the everlasting photographer," said Jim, as
we stopped near the gate. " We are getting too old to
keep up that foolishness, eh ? "
TWO GRAY TOUKISTS. 125
But the man and the woman who worked with him
were so solicitous, and we saw that in the fine sunlight
they executed with such dispatch, that we concluded to
stand.
"I see," said Jim, after he had finished with us,
" that you have improved by travelling in good company,
and putting on new clothes and a London hat."
We walked through these gardens, probably the most
extensive and various in the world. Jim was especially
interested in the Palm House, with its enormous collec-
tion of evergreens from all countries. In spite of the
oppressive heat therein, we mounted the stair-case to
the galleries in order to get a better view of the lofty
trees as they towered on high with the same freedom
and pride as if they were standing upon their native
plains. After strolling through the conservatories and
amidst the flower beds and plantations, and the winding
walks, overshadowed with stately forest trees and ex-
tending down to the river, we sat down to rest awhile
beneath a spreading fir.
" Nothing," said Jim, " that I have seen since I left
home has made me wish to have Emily with me as these
gardens. I do wish she could see them. She would
enjoy them. The mischief with me is I never can
remember how such things look so as to describe them
afterwards. But, I'll tell you one thing, Phil, I have'nt
seen any roses over here that are prettier than her's, nor
any greater variety. That will be a consolation to her
when I tell her so. Somehow, flowers, when I'm away
from home, make me think of her more than anything
else does, especially roses. Its always been so. Oh!
Come, let's go on."
A few minutes drive, on leaving Kew, brought us to
Richmond. n*
L26 two i.K.VY TOURISTS,
"Aii aristocratic town I take this," ho said, as, after
stopping at t ho Star and Garter and ordering dinner, we
strolled out for a short walk, and looked upon the
splendid villas in the outskirts. e< You notice that, like
Hyde Park, no cabs can enter this. But for our walk
at Kew and the want of time, I should like to go down
into that deep shade yonder. Richmond? Richmond?
Why, old Queen Elizabeth died in Richmond, did'nt
she?"
" Yes, the town takes it's name from her grandfather,
Henry YII, who. you remember, was the Karl of Rich-
mond, This has always been a favorite resort for the
aristocracy. See what a splendid view there is here."
"This is a great country for the rich, Phil. It does
look like it was made and laid oft* for rich people.
These magnificent views, and parks with shade-trees and
deer. As for poor people, they seem right well in the
country, such as I've seen ; but those in the big towns
are of another sort. They are the poorest and the
worst-looking in London that ever I saw or ever imag-
ined to be in the world. Yesterday, I took a notion to
roam about among some of the poorest parts of the
town. I rode around old Whitechapel and places like
that ; I forget the names o( the streets. I was glad at
last to get away. They looked not only poorer than
I had ever dreamed o\\ but they looked savage, men
and women. They stared at me as if they had a notion
of dragging me out of the carriage and mobbing me
for haying on good clothes. The driver laughed
when 1 told him 1 had had enough, and he said T
had'nt seen anything yet; but that to see the worst I
would have to take a policeman along with me. I
stopped once out there, near Whitechapel, at a court-
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 127
house. In a little room, not twenty-feet square, they
were trying one woman for cutting another with a
case-knife. There were the judge's seat, high up like
an old-fashioned pulpit, the lawyers' benches and jury's,
a prisoner's box, and room enough besides for about a
dozen or fifteen others. I gave the officer at the door a
little piece of money, and he let me in and set me right
down by the prisoner's box. Of all the court-rooms
that ever I saw, that was the smallest, and of all crowds,
they were the hardest-looking, except the lawyers and
the judge. With their wigs and gowns, a body could'nt
say what sort of clothes they had underneath, nor whether
they were poor or rich. The judge was a man of sense
though, and seemed to understand the law and the sort
of people he was dealing with. He as good as told the
jury that he believed that what most of the witnesses,
except one little boy, had testified to, was a pack of lies,
especially as they (all except the boy being women)
were drunk when the fight occurred. I don't know how
they found. When the judge's charge was done, I left,
and I told the driver to bring me back into the white
settlements. That was about four miles the other side
of the Langham, and nowhere near that end of the
town. The truth is, if we were to count this London
{is we count towns in our country by keeping on count-
ing until the stores and dwelling houses stop, there's no
telling where the everlasting place does end. What are
you laughing at ? "
"I was amused at the discursive ways your mind and
yoir- talk were taking. You have sadly mixed up the
aristocracy and the poor, Kichmond and London."
"Jdid'nt mix 'em; they mixed themselves. There's
more mixing up of people and towns in this country
128 TWO GEAY TOUEISTS.
than anywhere else on top of the ground. London city
proper, you know, is rather a small concern. I did'nt
know that until I got here and found people talking
about Bishopgate without and Bishopgate within.
London city ends on the west at Temple Bar and on the
east at Ludgate Hill, and it has something of a distinct
government of its own. And there's even in that centre
a plenty of poverty along with all the riches. The two
extremes of uncountable money and un-something-ed — ■
I don't know what word to find for it — poverty have
come together here in this London town and go on side
by side. Now, not that there isn't a very large majority
of people in moderate circumstances, as, of course, there
is everywhere. Three-fourths of the tax paying people
here live on incomes of less than three hundred pounds.
Yes, sir, things are mixed over here. In our country,
when you get out of a town you are out. But with this
Babylon of a London, when you've been travelling along
for hours and see scarcely a particle of change, they tell
you you're eight or ten miles outside of it, and been
through half a dozen other towns besides. But you
make me do pretty nigh all the talking, while you are
everlastingly looking over your books and maps trying
to find some new old thing or another. What's that
you are spying out now ? "
"Twickenham," said I; "that lies in our way to
Hampton Court, and, if possible, I should like to have
a peep into the grotto of Alexander Pope, who used to
live there."
" The universal-prayer man ? "
"The same."
" Why, we must see that, of course."
"But it is private property, and they tell me that
strangers are not admitted there."
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 129
" Nothing like trying ; only yon let me manage that."
After a first-rate dinner, we set out. Crossing again
the Thames, we ascended the hill on the opposite bank,
and were soon in the old village. We drove by the ele-
gant mansion and grounds of the exiled Bourbon, and
looked over towards Strawberry Hill (now owned by Lady
Waldegrave), once the residence of Horace Walpole.
How much of gossip, but of the politest, most enter-
taining, most instructive sort, had been talked, and, for-
tunately for posterity, written down in that country
place. By inquiring among those persons whom we
met we ascertained the precise spot in the street beneath
which was the grotto. On the grounds to which it
extended, stood a handsome villa. After passing it
a few rods, we halted, descended from the carriage, and
approached the gate, Jim in the lead. A neatly-dressed
woman was standing before the door in one of the walks.
Jim advanced respectfully towards her, as she turned
on seeing us, and, taking off his hat, gave her a bow and
a good afternoon.
"I beg pardon, madam; but we called to beg the
liberty of seeing, but for one moment, the — eh — the — "
He hesitated and looked at me.
" Grotto," I said.
"Certainly; the name escaped me for a moment, —
the grotto of Mr. Pope."
"Very sorry, sir, but strangers are not allowed — my
orders are to — "
" I beg your pardon, madam, we heard that was the
qase, but not until we had left our homes. We are
Americans who have come over to see your beautiful
country, and we have been delighted, madam, not only
with the country itself, but with the people whom we
130 TWO GRA.Y TOURISTS.
have seen thus far. As for myself, madam, and I am
sure I can say the same for my friend, a friendlier,
politer people we would both, seldom, in fact, never
wish to see. We did hope, indeed, just to look for one
minute into the grotto (intending, of course, to leave
immediately afterwards), just to say that we had seen
it, especially as both of us, which you can see for your-
self, are somewhat advanced in life, and could hardly
expect to make such a trip again and — why, bless me,
what a beautiful place this is, and you notice, Philemon,
how well it is kept ? in what taste ? and everything of
the kind ? Healthy, too, I don't doubt. However, you
English have such elegant complexions, especially you
English ladies, that, it's not worth while to inquire-
though some do have better than others — and, indeed —
the grotto, I understand, is just there, and runs under
the street — a very convenient place. "Well, Mr. Perch,
we can tell our friends that they were very polite to us,
and if it had'nt been strictly against the rules— but,
upon my word, a better kept place I should, indeed — "
He was turning slowly around, looking persuasively,
alternately at the woman and the shrubbery which he
knew covered the entrance to the grotto. She smiled,
hesitated, and said:
"I suppose there is'nt any harm just in looking at it."
Then she led us through, taking pains to show us the
stump of the willow that the poet had planted. Jim
thanked her so cordially that she valued his words, I
believe, more than the present that he forced her to
take. She looked at him, as we left, as if she believed
him to be one of the best of men. If that was her
thought, she was not mistaken.
" You see, Phil," he said, when Ave were again in the
carriage, "nothing like being polite to people."
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 131
*' You don't think that you pushed the .figure any too
far with the good woman ? "
'Not a bit of it. I suppose the owner is often wor-
ried by people, many of whom have no better manners
than to almost demand admittance. They are genteel
people, and while they wont show the place for money,
I've no doubt they let in other genteel people sometimes
when they apply in the right sort of way. My wife
loves to hear her front yard praised, and I knew this
woman, although nothing but a servant, would too, and
I'd have said what I did, even if I had'nt wanted any-
thing. And then, Phil, I did'nt know, you see, but that
her husband, or brother, or sweet-heart might be the
one that kept it in order."
" But what about the complexion ? "
" Oh, you get out. If it had been you, you would
have been met at the gate and turned back, and probably
had the dogs set on you. What did you think of the
grotto, as you call it ? I call it a hole in the ground."
" It is smaller than I expected ; yet, I am much grati-
fied to have seen it."
" I'm glad I've seen it myself, that is, one time. I
can't understand how any smart man wrould want to stay
in such a place as that. But poets take up mighty
strange notions. Then he was a little scrap of a fellow,
and wanted to be seen seldom, I suppose. I expect he
made it, to hide in sometimes when people called on him
that he did'nt want to see."
" No, he was very fond of it, studied and wrote in it,
and entertained his friends there."
"Many men of many minds, many birds of many
kinds, as the copy-book says."
As we approached Hampton Court, it was easy to see
that the great cardinal, who, in search of healthfulness
132 TWO GRAY TOtlUSTS.
and fitness of situation, founded it, had been abundantly
successful."
"Another mean thing,7' said Jim, as Ave rode along the
road in Bushy Park, "in Henry VIII, in taking thi.i
place, dry so, from old Wolsey. Well, sir, he was an
interesting fellow to me somehow. When he wanted
anything, he took it, without making any bones about
it, whether it was a new wife, or a palace, or land, or
money. He set out Avith the notion, or he got to believe
so at last, when they turned him out of the Church, that
every man and woman, and building, church or what
not, belonged to him, and if this doctrine did'nt suit
any particular person, he cut his head off, and shut his
mouth. But, I suppose the people had got so tired of
the everlasting wars, that they thought it as Avell to let
him cut off the heads of as many big men, and haAre as
many pretty women for wives as he wanted, instead of
resisting and breaking out into Avar again. He was
smart enough to see the situation, and he took it."
We entered the court, and ascending the King's grand
stair-case, passed through the several chambers. What
a flood of historic reminiscences here! I thought of
the marvelous rise of the butcher's son, the entertain-
ments, literary and festal, he had given here to lords and
ladies of his own and other lands, little foreseeing that
in that same grand hall, some of these same lords and
ladies would in time listen to the tragic recital of his
own downfall, while himself, in the Abbey of Leicester
would be warning his follower of the dangerous heights
of ambition. As little had the beautiful Anne Boleyn,
despising the faded beauty of her royal mistress, fore-
seen that dark room in the Tower, and that scene in the
court below. Indeed, could the poAverful tyrant fore-
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 133
see that even there would be ever an end to his own life?
It would seem that such disregard of God and man must
have counted on living on always. But he would be
king to the last, and even endeavor in his dying hour, to
bid death wait, until he could hear that the head of
Norfolk had fallen beneath the axe. Following along
the track of history, I beheld Edward, and the imperi-
ous, godless Somerset, Elizabeth and Mary, the two sis-
ters, so widely different in their characters and careers,
and in the charitable speeches of the next ages; the
Stuarts, Cromwell, dreaming, after allying with nobility,
of founding another line of dynasty; William and
Mary, husband and wife, yet not lovers, laying out this
beautiful park in which he was destined to be thrown
from his horse and killed ; Queen Anne, reminded, at
the consecutive deaths of all her numerous offspring, of
the infelicities of kings, when they see the glory depart-
ing from their houses ; and then the line of Brunswick,
until, with the demise of the Second George, Hampton
ceased to be the favorite residence of princes, and was
consigned to the remnant of the decayed old nobility.
"How many more among those who lived and ruled in
this stately pile, the cups of disappointment than the
cups of joy," I said, as after coming out of the gate, and
entering the carriage, we were driving again through
Bushy Park.
" Yes, sir," answered, Jim, " they paid high for what
they got. The more I think of it, Phil, the more I'm
thankful that I was'nt born, as Weller says, in that
sitooation of life, or that I myself ain't a big man. That's
a blessing, I know, that's very common. Still, every
common man don't appreciate it like I do."
Returning to Kew, we dismissed our carriage, and
12
134 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
took the boat which we saw just then slowly descending
the river above us. We walked down the bank towards
the landing. As we were nearing it, Jim suddenly
exclaimed:
" Where's your overcoat ? "
I had left it in the carriage. The boat was now at
the landing, where it would remain but a couple of
minutes. I looked back, and to my surprise, there on
the bridge, on which we had already crossed when we
left him, stood the cabman, holding on high the missing
garment, and motioning to us to proceed, rushed towards
us with all his might. I rewarded the man, while Jim,
who could not keep his hands out of his pockets, gave
to him also, and shaking him by the hand, said :
" My dear fellow, if you ever come to Georgia — "
The laugh of the captain and passengers who had
seen our strait, drowned the rest, and we were off.
" Honestest people I ever saw, cap'n," said Jim.
"Who, the cabbies?"
" Yes ; but not them in particular : the whole Eng-
lish nation, by gracious."
"Oh, thanks; but he dared not keep the great coat.
He's an honest lad, I daresay; but he dared not keep
it."
" In our country, sir, many a one would have dared to
keep it, and would have kept it. You see this aged
person here, cap'n," he continued, laying his hand on
my shoulder, " I have to keep my eye on him constantly.
If I take it off him for a minute he's lost something.
He'd lose everything he's got twas'nt for me. A little
advanced, you know," whispering very loudly, " memory
not good as it used to be."
" Even loses his thread sometimes, Jim, eh ? " I said.
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 135
"You get out."
The weather was fine; the little steamer passed
along down so leisurely, that the many row-boats that
were out seemed to think it not worth their while to
get out of its *way until it had reached within a few
feet of them.
"And here's Chelsea. At the hospital here, they take
care,- inside and out, of several thousand children of
seamen. Here's where the great water-works of London
begin."
"And here," I said, " also Queen Elizabeth once had
a palace, and right yonder on that rising immediately
on the bank was the house of Sir Thomas More, the
loveliest character in British history."
By Putney, Battersea, Fulham, Lambeth. We debarked
at Westminster bridge, and taking a cab, as the sun
went down, drove to the hotel, both feeling and both
saying that it was a most agreeable day's excursion.
That night Jim entertained me with an extended
account of his travels in the city by omnibus and under-
ground railway, his investigations concerning the Hol-
born Viaduct, the Thames Embankment, the Tunnel and
other great works of London. "While you were poking
about," he said, "to find out what the town had been,
I was seeing what it is now." He had gathered up
the statistics of many of these works, and the figures of
their cost and the extent to which they were used were
surprising and rather interesting to me.
" I did'nt," said he, winding up his account, " I did'nt
have any idea of the bigness of this town and the tre-
mendous business that is done here, before I saw it
with my own eyes. I've ridden through and through
it, lengthwise and crosswise. The people! the people
[
rwo ouw TOURISTS,
that live ami work here! How rich are the rich, and
how poor i ln> poor! These poor the rioli have to take
some care o\\ and so tar as money is concerned, and
hospitals, they spend and build, and build and spend.
St. Thomas' Hospital alone, reeeives sixty thousand
people a year! Hut to see the crowds of poor people
that I have, one Would 'nt suppose there was a hospital
in England, In some places they are as thick as -worms
in an old rotten log; and they almost are like 'em as
they go crawling and dragging themselves about. Hut,
yon know, people have got to have the poor always.
The Bible says that."
••So yon see, Jim, that yon have something else to be
thankful tor besides not being a king."
"Yes, indeed, and 1 don't know for which the most.
I'm sorter like Agar, Phil. Neither poverty nor riehes
for me. 1 always would want enough to live on deeently.
and to keep from having to steal, or feel like stealing
from other people. But Til be blamed if I believe I
could stand being as rich as some o( these people over
here."
CHAPTER XII,
A VIXG- determined, contrary to our first expec-
tations, to make a flying visit to Scotland be-
fore passing to the Continent, early on Monday
morning we were on the train for York.
Shortly after taking our smoking-car, an Englishman,
stout, fair, side-whiskered, hearty-looking, came in, and
after placing his luggage carefully, took his seat without
seeming to notice that any but himself were there. We
had barely moved out of the station, when he took out a
cigar, lit it, and read his newspaper. Jim and I, with
maps extended, studied the region over which we were
to journey, which like all the rest we had seen of this
beautiful country was full of ever varying interest.
The villas, the hayfields, and market- gardens of Middle-
sex and Herts, in the latter, the apple-orchards, as the
city-like and suburban prospects subsided into the rural,
and the fields became larger and the shade trees more
abundant, made us glad to be in the fresh air once more.
We flew into Bedford (where we again saw the Chiltern
Hills), along the pleasant banks of the Ivel on its way
to join the Ouse ; then into Huntingdon, where I thought
of the brave Iceni who had dwelt here, and Boadicea,
their queen, and how, at last, at Caister, they went down
before the Koman legions under Silanus; and then of
the less ancient, yet far remote rule of the Forest Laws,
12<
(137>
138 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
and the great Earls of Huntingdon, descending to bold
Kobin Hood.
Biding in the same carriage, seated silently by a
good-looking man, who seemed as if he might have some
good talk inside of him, was one of the things that Jim
Rawls was not used to. In speaking before this of some
of the acquaintances he had made, he said to me :
" These English people will travel with you a month,
and say not one blessed word to you unless you speak to
them first; and then, at the start, they'll just answer
your questions and no more. But if you don't put 'em
too fast, and then if you'll ask sensible questions — as I
generally try to make it a point to do — they will get
right sociable, if they ain't busy."
On this morning, after some talking among ourselves,
and while I sat ruminating over the past history of this
section, I noticed Jim open his cigar-case, and after he
had fixed the attention of our fellow traveller, with
apparently great care, select a cigar, and hand it to him
with this remark r
"I see you smoke, sir. We have some very good
American cigars ; won't you try this one ? "
Such cordiality few could have withstood. The gen-
tleman, whom Jim found to be a Mr. Flynt from York-
shire, accepted with thanks, and very soon the two were
on terms of reasonable good fellowship. Their interest
in each other gave me opportunities to meditate without
interruption. Jim was delighted to meet a person who
could answer all his questions about the present state of
the country, the character of the crops, and their condi-
tion, the lands and their prices, the manufacturing
interests, etc. As we went through Peterborough, I
observed, as well as I could, with the help of my opera-
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 139
glass, the old Cathedral, with its turrets and pinnacles
and monastic edifices adjoining. Within was the dust
of Catharine of Arragon. Neither her innocence nor
her misfortunes had obtained for her a different resting
place. Not so with the Queen of Scots, whose remains,
first deposited there, were afterwards removed by her
son, James I, to Westminster Abbey. Yet this had
been no common place, but for centuries had been the
favorite shrine of the pious, whether prince or noble,
knight, or gentleman, or yeoman; and, from the gifts
of the devout Edgar, had been called Guldenburgh, " the
Golden City."
Our companion was no more able to refuse Jim's invi-
tation to partake of our lunch than to decline his cigar.
Having gotten on easy terms, both of us were entertained
by his conversation. While not a man of liberal educa-
tion, he was well acquainted with the resources and the
business of his section. As we passed along through
the great county of Lincoln, I listened as he talked of
the undulating wolds of the northeastern portion of the
county, the moors, extending north and south through
the centre, and the fens in the southeast, fenced off by
embankments from the German Ocean. I, but not Mr.
Flynt, could occasionally detect on Jim's face an amused
smile, as the former spoke, with some pride, of the four
rivers of the county, the Trent, the Welland, the Witham,
and the Ancholme, as if they were well known rivers of
Damascus. Passing into Nottingham, our guest — for
such Jim considered him now — spoke yet more know-
ingly of general interests and industries. While he
was discoursing to Jim of the immense business done
in the lace and hosiery lines, I could but recur to the
Druids who once held here their solemn reign. Away
140 TWO GRAY TOUKISTS.
to our left were to be seen some remains of Sherwood
Forest, where the gestes of Eobin Hood were enacted.
Along where we were travelling, doubtless he^and Little
John, and Friar Tuck and the rest had passed ; and not
far off was Kirksley Hall, where, having been betrayed
by his kinswoman, the bold outlaw ended his career. I
said how I regretted not being able to visit that spot.
Mr. Flvnt expressed some surprise, and Jim asked :
"What's Kirksley Hall?"
" Where Robin Hood died and was buried," and then
I repeated the ballad beginning thus :
' When Robin Hood and Little John
Went o'er yon bank of broom,
Said Robin Hood to Little John
We have shot for many a pound."
" That's right good," said Jim, " I always liked that
Robin Hood. He never hurt woman, nor man in
woman's company. Still, he might have known that
following' that sort of business he would be cut off sud-
denly somehow, by rope, or something else."
Mr. Flynt smiled approvingly, and they returned to
the lace and hosiery business. This turn shut me up
at once, and sent me back to my meditations. For the
rest of the journey to York they sat opposite each other
at one side of the carriage, while I was by the window
at the other. We were not far from the station, when
Jim turned to me and asked with an air of one who
was seeking honestly for useful information :
" Phil, can you tell this gentleman about how far it
is from Boston to Buenos Ayres ? He asked me, but I
disremember, although I did know once, and am sur-
prised that such a plain thing should have dropped out
of my mind."
TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 141
I was figuring in my mind preparatory to giving an
answer, when Mr. Flynt arose, commenced getting down
his luggage, and, looking out of the window, said:
" We are at York, gentlemen."
After we had parted, and were on the way to our
hotel, Jim said:
" You want to know why I asked you that question ?
Don't you think that man believes that the war we had
lately was between North America and South America ?
And he a man that owns land, and has plenty of sense
besides. I wish you could have heard him asking about
our negroes, and our feeding 'em on cotton seed, and
working 'em in chain-gangs, and locking 'em up at
night, and our haying to stand guard and all such.
But he's a clever fellow, and a sensible. He had heard
such things, and he believed 'em. I've heard a good
deal of just such as that since I've been over here. I
don't know whether they believe me or not, but I poke
all the information into 'em I can. I told him I thought
it was about ten or fifteen thousand miles between
Boston and Buenos Ayres, a right smart distance for
two armies to pass over before they could get up a fight.
But, bless me, here's another old wall. I'd have bet
that you'd stop where there was one of them. The
Black 8wan, eh ? Well, I'm ready for whatever good
things she's got in her smoke-house and pantry."
Our expectations concerning this excellent hotel were
fully realized under the care of Mr. and Miss Penrose.
We supposed at first that the pretty bar-maids were
their daughters, so fond of them they seemed ; but we
found that the host and hostess were brother and sister,
and unmarried. Their uncle and aunt, then argued
Jim, But no ; it was only that the employed were so
142 TWO GRAY TOUEISTS.
sweet and efficient, and the employers so orderly, con-
siderate, and kind. The Yorkshire mutton chops and
ham, and ale, the snug smoking-room, and clean, cosy
hed-chamber, would have inclined us to rest here several
days. Our host, we thought, might have provided us
with a somewhat better horse than the old white jade
that took us out to Bishopthorpe, the Archbishop's
palace. But we did not complain; for the fields and
farms on either side of the road were so fair to look
upon, that we could have been content to travel at a yet
slower pace. A sweeter spot (always excepting Guy's
Cliffe) could not well have been chosen for retirement
and religion. The Ouse, laving the palace walls and
smoothly gliding amidst shades and flower-beds, the
deep green grass, the magnificent roses (the finest we
saw in England) engrafted upon lofty stems, all seemed
to form a retreat where a scholar and devout prelate
might dwell in quiet and felicity. A drive about the
town on our return showed us its objects of special
interest. Old "Walmsgate, yet preserving its barbican,
with the arms of the city and Henry V; Micklegate,
that, although now without barbican, yet called to mind
that here were wont to be hung in bloody times the heads
of the executed ; and Clifford's Tower, which though now
occupied by those who manage the public business of the
county, still could not fail to recall the days of feudal
ascendency. The most beautiful of ruins seemed to those
of St. Mary's Abbey, near Marygate, the multangular
tower of which is now a musuem. But it was while
wandering near Christ Church, and along by Good ram
gate, the site of the ancient Eoman palace, that I was most
interested. Here Hadrian had fixed the British capital,
after he had subdued the islanders and carried a wall
TWO GKAY TOUEISTS. 143
from Carlisle to Newcastle. Here Albinus commanded
with his legions, when, on the assassination of the good
Pertinax, Septimus Severus beguiled him away with the
argument of patriotic revenge upon Niger to rescue the
people from the base Julianus. Here the same Severus,
Niger and Albinus being overthrown, repaired on the
revolt of the Britons with his sons Oaracalla and Gaeta,
whose ingratitude, crimes and dissensions rendered vain
his successes, and broke his heart. Here the accom-
plished Julia Domna reigned and dazzled, and did not
foresee the wounds she was to receive while lifting
her hands to rescue the beloved Gaeta from the
murderous knife of his brother. Yet more interesting
than these the reminiscences of Oonstantius and his
dynasty. Here died he, and on that day the legions
declared emperor the son, who was to erect the standard
of the Cross, and remove the centre of political empire to
New Rome on the Bosphorus, leaving the Eternal City
to become that of religious unity.
But vain were walls and towers against the moun-
taineers, unless the Soman legions were within and
around them. With the decline of the empire, another
power must come from beyond the German Ocean, and
after six hundred years of rule, while the last king, in this
same ancient city would be holding high festivity after
the battle of Stamford Bridge, the dread news be brought
that William the Norman was at Pevensey, and in an-
other week the Saxon dynasty be laid low. The mind
saddened in retracing the bloody scenes enacted here,
both in war and in peace, Briton, Saxon, Norman, Lan-
caster and York, Stuart and Parliamentarian, < Druid,
Christian, and Israelite.
" In the name of common sense," said Jim, winding
144 TWO GEAY TOURISTS.
up another tirade against the preservation of those relics
of cruel times, "I can't see why they should want to
keep that old Micklegate that's in everybody's way, just
to look up to where the heads of their great, great
great grandfathers were hung up and left to feed the
buzzards."
" My dear Jim, it is to remind themselves and their
children and all the world from what oppressions the
courage of their nearer ancestry delivered their country."
" Humph ! That's like the old nigger who, when he
was fishing in the creek, his under lip poked out about
two inches, and a white boy from the bridge above,
dropped on it a piece of mud, got up and started off,
saying : ' I don't 'tend to take it off. I don't 'tend to
take it off. I gwine kyar it right thraight and thow it
to your daddy.' "
The next morning while my friend and Mr. Penrose
were out inspecting the glass-works and the market, I
repaired alone to the cathedral. Fitly named, in this
central place of battle and blood, was that temple to
Bellona which was standing here on the day of Constan-
tine's ascension to empire. On the very spot, after other
alternations, the Northumbrians erected a Christian
Church, when they had accepted the faith which Au-
gustine had introduced into Kent. Four centuries later
began the erection of the work which two centuries yet
later ended in the completion of the great Minster. Su-
perior to what I had anticipated was the exterior view —
the lofty, square-topped towers in the west ; the pointed
arches and the marigold windows in the south ; the yet
more magnificent window of the east ; the Five Sisters
of the north, and the great Lantern Tower lifted high
above all. But within ! Not St. Paul's, not Westmin-
TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 145
ster Abbey seemed to me so fitting for the worship of
the Creator, and so accustomed to His presence as this
whose nave, and aisles, and transepts, and choir, so vary-
ing in architectural excellence, yet so harmonious, told
of a long history, and seemed so typical of the varying
religious faith of this ever earnest people. To enter by
the west end, stand in the central door, and look down
that nave, one's vision extending beyond the organ into
the choir into which the mellowed light descends from
the great east window, and then slowly tread beneath
those solemn arches, and amid the aisles and transepts,
and look upon the tombs therein, and in Lady Chapel, of
archbishops and earls, divines and scholars, of Hatfield
and Wentworth, Medley and Saville, these are such as to
impress one's mind with as solemn awe, I believe, as
would be felt in any temple on earth. As I was about to
come forth by the door through which I had entered, the
great organ began to sound for a special morning ser-
vice. Never before did that instrument seem to me so
fit for making the music of worship and thanksgiving.
But the hour for our departure was drawing nigh, and I
hastened back to the hotel.
Quite a friendly acquaintance had grown up between
Jim and Mr. Penrose, and on departing from the Black
Swan we had sensations akin to those with which we
had left the Red Horse at Stratford. After we were
fairly off for Edinburgh, he, as usual, began with the
dutiful task of speaking of our late entertainers with the
grateful praise which it was ever his delight to bestow
upon whomsoever had treated him with kindness.
" Phil," said he, " do you believe in lotteries, as they
call 'em, in people's marrying?"
" Why, what put so grave a question in your head this
fine m rning ? " I returned. 3.3
146 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
" Because I just happened to be thinking about it. I
have thought a great deal, and somehow I never
have been able to make up my mind about it. It's a
question that people may argue about all their lives and
never settle. Now there's Mr. Penrose and his sister,
neither one of 'em married. And yet I never saw two
apparently better contented people in my life; and if
they don't know how to keep a hotel it is'nt worth while
for anybody else to try. What a good husband and wife
they would have made — that is, to all appearances. But
there's the point, you see. We can't tell about such
things. Maybe it was'nt their lot to marry, and maybe
they would'nt have done as well as they've done single.
For many a man, there's no doubt about that, and woman,
too, makes a poor out of it in marrying. Still, nine
out of ten can't be satisfied until they do marry, and,
as a general thing, that's what makes old bachelors and
old maids so crusty. They go on the idea, or they think
other people do, that they have lost something that other
people have ; and so they get to be at last what they
suspect other people believe them to be. Now, this Mr.
Penrose and his sister seem to me to be exceptions to
this rule. I have an idea that they are always congrat-
ulating themselves that they ain't married, and that
they don't have the troubles of married people generally.
But here's another thing that I've noticed, Phil. When
this thing of not marrying runs in the family, it don't
serve people as it does when only one stays single. It's
especially the case when a brother and sister keep single
and live together. Such a couple, generally, are quiet,
good-natured, kind-hearted people. Marrying certainly
makes some people better than they would have been
without it; but then it makes others worse. Then
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 147
again some couples get together in such strange
ways; and then some fall in love at first sight, just like
I did with Emily. And then you know the Almighty
instituted marriage ; and as for Adam, Eve was made
expressly for Mm, and he had to take her because, my
gracious, she was all there was. That was the first case,
and after that, why not a lottery, or a special providence
for the rest of us ? But then, on the other hand — oh,
pshaw ! when I get on that subject my mind always gets
confused. Oh, you may laugh, but you don't know any
more about it than I do."
"I do not. But I suppose you mean, by what
you say of Mr. and Miss Penrose, that if there was a
lottery, they never went to the drawing, or they drew
blanks."
" Blamed if I know exactly what I did mean, except
that they are two mighty clever people, and know how
to keep a hotel."
" You know somebody that drew a prize."
" That I do ; and I never knew half the worth of her
till I've come so far from her."
How lovely was that morning. Though we rushed
along with the speed of the hurricane (for we made no
stop until we reached Newcastle-upon-Tyne, eighty-six
miles distant), yet the sweet prospects along the Ouse,
and afterwards, the Cod-Beck and the Wistol, were so
abundant, that we had no time to regret the instanta-
neous passing of any one among them. On and on, to
Northallerton ; we had scarce time to think of Standard
Hill, where the battle of the Standard was fought,
before we reached the Tees, and our thoughts wandered
up its banks to Barnard Castle, and the days of Baliol.
"And now," said Jim, " I see from the map thai? ~e
148 TWO GRAY TOtlltiSTS.
are in Durham, and sure enough, here's the short-
horned cattle. I've read that they come from Tees-
water. This is one of the great coal counties in Eng-
land, too. Did you know that ? "
"No."
"So I supposed; I bet if there's any old cathedral
anywhere about you know of that."
"I supposed everybody knew of the Cathedral of
Durham. This is one of the richest sees in England."
" I hope those old Romans never got up this far."
"But they did. Here was some of their hardest
fighting, first in subduing the Brigantines, and after-
wards in keeping off the Scots and Picts. I wish we
could stop for a little while at Durham town. The
cathedral is one of the best specimens of Norman archi-
tecture. Besides, I should like to see the shrines of
St. Cuthbert and Bede the historian."
" Bede ! I never heard of a historian of that name."
" He wrote eight hundred years ago, and in Latin."
" Well, I never expect to read, the works of Mr. Bede,
if you'll allow a rhyme."
We were soon at the Wear, and, flying along its lovely
banks, noticed how it encircled the ancient town. We
got only a brief look at the cathedral, and the castle on
the lofty, immense rock, surrounded by gardens and
plantations, when we were out of sight again, and in a
few minutes, the speed slackened, and passing slowly
through Gateshead and over the Tyne, halted at New-
castle.
"A live town, sure. I noticed some old walls still
standing as we came in, but none to hurt."
"This place was the Pons Aelii of the Emperor
Hadrian, and those walls were built by Severus. Long
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 149
afterwards, it was noted for its monasteries, and was
called Monkchester. Pilgrims in great crowds used to
congregate at The Holy Well of Jesus. One of the sons
of William the Conqueror built a castle here, and from
that the town took its present name."
"No cathedral?"
" No ; but the Church of St. Nicholas is next to one."
" Those old fellows never dreamed of the coal that
was under the ground here, nor what it was to do for
the world. Ah ! Yonder' s the German Ocean. Some
distance from home, old fellow, let's brace up a little."
He took down the lunch-basket, and opened a bottle,
and soliloquized thus, in audible tones, as he made
things ready:
" I've found that when a fellow is travelling a long
way from home, and with rather an oldish person, one
of the best things to have against home- sickness is a
good appetite, that is, provided, of course, a fellow can
get something good to eat and to drink at the same
time. Next to a good appetite and the et ceteras, of
course, is young, pleasant company, if a fellow could
get it ; but, of course, it is the part of prudence to put
up with what company a fellow does have, if it's the
best he can get, and make the most of it. If a fellow
could once get out of the region of old walls, and cas-
tles, and graveyards, some people might not appear to
be quite so old. I am thankful to see, though, that they
take kindly to beer, and that it seems — "
"Morpeth!"
"Morpeth? I've heard of that. That's it, is it?
Was'nt there a Lord Morpeth ? "
"Oh, yes. Morpeth gives the title to the Howard
family, as the whole county Northumberland gives that
to the Fercies." 13*
150 TWO OKAY TOURISTS.
Crossing the Lyhe, the Cogent, and the Aln, the
scenery grew rapidly more picturesque as we approached
nearer and nearer the German Ocean, until we were
upon its very shores. The ground to our left, though
yet in faultless green, rose higher and higher until it
culminated in the Cheviot mountains. As we neared
l>erwick-on-Tweed, 1 looked over the waters towards
Lindisfarn, and my memory again called the saintly
Cuthbert, and the sweet influences that the lives of him
and his brethren of the Holy Island had wrought upon
the fierce inhabitants of that mountain region. Cross-
ing the Tweed, we were now in Scotland. Through
Berwick and Haddington, getting only a glimpse of
Dunbar House as we sped through Dunbar. The rich-
est, loveliest, plain we had seen was that which extended
from the foot of the Laniniermoor Hills in the south,
and further on, from the More foots in East Lothian to
the Firth of Forth. We had not ceased talking about
the battle of 1 'res ton Tans, begun by our passing over
that famous field, when, looking out to the left we saw
Arthur's Seat looming up, and shortly afterwards were
in Edinburgh.
CHAPTER XIII,
T eight o'clock P. M. we had enough daylight
left in that high latitude to make some obser-
vations in the afternoon. We sallied out, there-
fore, for a walk in the New Town, which this
street (Prince, on which, at McGregor's Hotel, we were
quartered), formerly a deep gulch, separates from the
old. We traversed alternately from end to end Prince's,
George's, and Queen streets, lingering severally at the
site of the Ambrose Tavern in Register street, St. An-
drew's Square, and the late residences of Brougham,
Scott, Hume, Jeffrey, Cockburn, and at Charlotte Square,
Moray Place and others. That night, while I spent an
hour or two in reading up on the foretimes of Edin-
burgh, Jim, who had made acquaintance with the land-
lord, was engaged in getting an acquaintance with its
present conditions. I had taken a fresh interest in the
old Scottish kings — the pious David, founder of Melrose,
Kelso, Dryburgh, and Holyrood — the Holy Rood, so
eventful in its fortunes, all along from the time of
its importation by Queen Margaret; and Neville's Cross
and its enshrining in Durham Cathedral. I had wan-
dered along to King James IV, and mingled with the
throng in that splendid pageant, when another Margaret,
daughter of the first of the Tudors, was led by the gal-
lant Surrey and Archbishop of York to espouse the Scot-
(151)
152 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
tish king. The royal husband, in the fullness of con-
jugal happiness and princely power, could not foresee
that this same Surrey would afterwards lead an army to
Flodden Field, where Scotland's spear would be shat-
tered, and broken her shield. Then I thought of Magda-
len of France, who came to preside in that same palace
(named from the abbey, Holyrood), and a month after-
wards was laid in the abbey tomb, when Mary of Guise
was chosen to take her place. Lastly, I mused of the
daughter of this second marriage, Mary of Scots, so
beautiful, so imprudent, so unfortunate, with whom
passed away the glory of Holyrood.
In the midst of these musings Jim came up, and said
that he would bet "'arf a crown " that I did'nt know what
was the principal and most money-making business in
the present burg. I gave it up.
"Ale. A-l-e ale — beer. Yes, sir. They do a consid-
erable business here in shawls, and in the book and type
foundry trades. But the big business is ale-brewing.
This is a great barley country, you know. Not that the
people drink the ale themselves, for they drink whiskey
instead ; but the barley, what is not fed to horses and
poor folks, is made into ale and sold in England and
other countries. "
This announcement served to divert my thoughts from
the pathway in which they had been traveling, and soon
afterwards my friend and I went in search of sleep
and found it. After early breakfast we took a carriage
and drove into old town, High street, Netherbow, and
Canongate, passing slowly along, through Morocco Land,
full of romantic traditions, St. Anne's Yards, the Debtors'
Sanctuary, made so widely known by the Chronicles of
the Canongate, Queen Mary's Garden, near where Rizzio
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 153
dwelt, then over the ruins of the ancient abbey to Holy-
rood Palace.
The satisfaction on entering this renowned structure
was subdued by the melancholy of contrasting its pres-
ent humbled condition with the splendid adornments of
old times. The ruins of the abbey, the disappearance of
the gardens and parks, the poverty of whatever relics of
art are yet preserved, the smallness of the chambers, that
poor, ruined bed, with its faded, ragged coverings, all
hindered us from wishing to linger among them.
"Where's the blood of that fellow Kizzio?" asked
Jim of the guide, in a subdued, respectful whisper.
Stooping down, he looked closely and thoughtfully at
the stain upon the floor, and rising, whispered again
to me:
"No business being so thick. It's always dangerous;
though I always believed she was innocent of the worst
they accused her of."
Emerging, we visited St. Giles' Cathedral, famous for
John Knox and the Covenanters, paused for a moment at
the figure of a heart made in the pavement where once
stood the great prison — the Heart of Midlothian, thence
to the Grass market, thence making a short visit to the
hill and the castle, and after viewing these for a few
moments, and looking over that almost inimitable pros-
pect of the Salisbury Crags, Pentlands and Hills of Fife,
descended and took the train for Stirling. Fertile in
abundance are the level fields of Edinburgh and Lin-
lithgow. As we emerged from the region of the Lothians
and the Firth of Forth, the land rose in undulations,
increasing in height and depth as we neared Stirling.
Jim pretended to be not much interested in the talk I
had of the ancient struggles of the Scots on one hand
154 TWO GRAY TOURISTS
with their alternate enemies over the border — the Bri-
(6ns, and Romans, and Saxons, until the cession of the
Lothians to the former in the time of Malcolm II ; so
about the wall of Antoninus at Falkirk. But he bright-
ened up at the stories of Wallace, Edward I, and
Charles Edward. What took him more than these, how-
ever, was what he had found out about the great Oarron
Iron Works, near the Trysts, and the cattle-fairs that are
held here.
"Three hundred thousand head of cattle a year, sir;
not men to be butchered, by gracious, but cattle. Old
walls in this country moved away, spears turned into
plow-shares, and swords into pruning-hooks. More good
is done here in one year by these cattle shows than all
the wars of all the times of all the Eomans and all the
Saxons and all the rest of 'em, by George."
" Still, Jim, it is interesting to know the places where
these famous wars occurred ; they are parts of the his-
tory of the world, and we must study that as we go."
" Oh, yes, certainly, certainly. I'm merely making
remarks, and — comments, so to speak — on the history
lessons, just to make 'em more interesting. Go ahead,
you old schoomaster: fetch out the big names. And, by
gracious, they are getting bigger, I notice, and harder
to call as Ave get higher up among these hills, these
Linlithgows and such; and I see from the map that
they are going to get longer as we go on. But go ahead,
I like to hear you tell about it all. I want Emily to
know that I've seen everything on the route that was
worth seeing. That's what she cautioned me not to fail
to do. She said I was to take in all I could of what you
told of the history part of the trip. I shall tell her that
I've seen all the old Roman walls, and where all the old
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 155
battles were fought, and the heads cut off and hung up,
and where all the old kings and queens were born, and
lived, and kept in jail, and wrote poetry, and their lovers
got stabbed and left their blood on the floor, and the
whole conflutement of 'em. I want you, before we part,
Phil, to give me a list of all of 'em, so I can study 'em
up and get 'em at my tongue's end, and, when I get
home, I can rattle 'em off and make Emily proud, and
the other women in the neighborhood jealous. Go ahead ;
what old Roman was it that built the dirt wall along
here? Old Antony?"
"Antoninus, you wretch, Antoninus."
"All the same, or nigh enough for my use. And so
Queen Mary used to come out this way and spend some
of her time at Linlithgow, crossing the Almond Vale,
Queensferry and on by Barnbough Castle. Here's to
all of 'em. I don't like this Scotch ale as well as the
English. It's too frothy, and fussy, and fiery. Still
here's to old An-tonicus, and may nobody else ever have
to build another such wall along here nor any other
decent and respectable country; and may the Scotch
and English have plenty of cattle instead of men to
butcher, and may they both treat old Ireland right, and
all live in peace and harmony together."
"An extensive and varied toast. I join, however,
with all my heart ; db imo pectore, Jim, you know."
" Certainly, that's what I'm after."
"And now, for Sir Walter's sake, especially, we must
study well the ground from this to Glasgow, for it is all
classic."
"All right."
After leaving Falkirk, the country, interesting from
its varied scenery, became intensely so henceforth from
156 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
its historic and romantic associations. From our window
we looked out upon the Lennox Hills, from which the
Carron water descended and flowed across our path.
Not far off were Airth Castle and Dunmore Park, and
Tonwood Forest, at one time the hiding-place of Wal-
lace, at another, the scene of the excommunication of
Donald Cargill, the fierce Covenanter. Soon we were
at Bannockburn, seeing to the right, on Abbey Craig,
the monument of the patriot, and, on the left, the Bare
Stone of Bruce and Gillie's Hill, where the camp-follow-
ers struck terror to the English army, and gave victory
to the Scots. Even from our windows we could see how
the gathering hills on either side of the Forth made
narrow the pass from the Lowlands to the Highlands,
showing how Stirling must have been, of old, a fortified
position.
Arrived at the station and taking a carriage, the toil-
ing horse drew us up the long acclivity to the castle.
In singular contrast with the narrow streets and squalid
tenements of the old were the fine promenades and
groups of villas of the new town. Alighting from the
carriage, and passing over the esplanade and the draw-
bridge, we entered the castle beneath the gateway from
which the portcullis hung threateningly over our heads.
Most interesting to us both were those places which the
poet had specially celebrated; the chamber wherein
Ellen Douglass rested when she came to plead the cause
of her exiled father; that wherein Rhoderick Dhu
breathed out his life, while Allan Bane sang the battle
in which Clan Alpine's honored pine was laid low ; the
great hall, now occupied by the Highland regiments in
barracks, wherein the blushing maid discovered in her
bold suitor the King of Scots. My dear old Jim
TWO GKAY TOURISTS. 157
declared that he was enchanted — "is that how you call
it" — by the sight of these places. He was even glad
that these old walls had been preserved, as well to
guard the places where such thrilling events had occurred,
as for the prospect they gave below us of the winding
Forth, the fair vale of Menteith stretching miles and
miles northwest along the Teith, Cambus Kenneth Abbey
and Bannockburn on which was yet marked the spot
where the banner of the Bruce was triumphant. Above
and beyond were Tinto (the Hill of Fire), Arthur's
Seat, the Lennox, Ochil, and, yet further, the blue out-
lines of the Grampians. "I don't wonder," he said,
"that they fought so long to determine which should
have such a country, and that they had to compromise
at last. Look down yonder at those wheatfields. They
look so peaceful that a fellow could hardly believe so
many battles have been fought upon 'em."
At this moment we heard the bag-pipes, and turning
around saw a squad of Highlanders moving to their
music.
"I tell you what," said Jim, "don't those tall fellows
step it right with their gowns and bare legs ? And
that's the bag-pipe. Poorer music, I would indeed
seldom. I could do as well with a split goose- quill, or a
pumpkin-vine."
On the return, we drove about the town, taking hasty
views of the Military Hospital (once Argyle House),
Cowane's Hospital, and Grayfriar's Church, in which
James VI was crowned. Taking another train at the
station, after passing the Brig of Allan, we soon were at
Dunblane, not valued by us for once having been an
episcopal city, or for giving the title of viscount to the
Osbornes, as for the little Jessie, it's famous "Flower."
14
158 TWO GRAY TOUEISTS.
While the main railway stem proceeded to Perth, we
diverged, and coursing down the Teith, came to Donne
Town, and even here we thought less of the baronial
castle of the Earls of Menteith and the visits of Mary
to the Earl of Moray, than the first of that long line
which made its author the greatest of the romancers.
We would have checked, if possible, the rushing train
in order to view more leisurely this region. Thanks to
the Buchanans, their love for Walter Scott, and his love
for them. It was here, at Cambus More, he learned
these mountains, and meads, and lochs, in the midst of
which he dreamed that sweetest of poet's dreams.
Across here fled the stag when, startled in Glenartney,
rushing along Benvoirlich and Uamvar, and despairing
to reach Lochard or Aberfoyle, he turned and made for
" The copse wood grey
That waved and wept on Loch Acray,
And mingled with the pine trees blue
On the bold cliffs of Ben venue."
Jim had had special admonitions from his wife and
daughters about seeing all he could of this particular
region, if we should pass over it. He had read over
again, while in London, The Lady of the Lake, and now
he studied the map and the poem carefully.
"It won't do, Phil, for me to be nonplussed
about that when I get back. I'm going to get all
that by heart, and make it my trump-card. But I
should say that that was a slow way of coming at a
deer. If I had been in that hunt, I should have stood
for him. I don't believe in this way of breaking down
horses as well as dogs just for one deer, and, by gracious,
not get him at that."
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 159
"Ah, my old Jim, yon would have been after the meat.
That royal hunter and his gallant followers were for the
sport, enhanced by the risk, the toil, and the adventure.
Besides, in those days, game was allowed a chance for
its life, instead, as in these degenerate times, of being
waylaid and shot in ambush."
"Umph! That all sounds well enough in a love
story. But in those days you talk about, they might
give a chance to game, but they clid'nt give much to
folks. They did'nt stick at hiding behind a tree to
shoot at folks. However, I'm going to see 'em through.
It was a good long old race, I should say, judging from
the map, and to let him get away at that. About the
most sensible thing that Fitz James did, it seems to me,
was when he acknowledged to his grey horse that he
had paid too dear for his fun. But like many another
acknowledgment in this world, it was too late to do any
good."
I was on the point of remonstrating with him
for holding and giving utterance to such common-
place views of this masterpiece of romantic poetry,
when the cars suddenly slackened their speed, and we
drove into Callander, where, in a few minutes, we were
seated before the door of the Dreadnought Hotel,
and looking upon the Teith that flowed rapidly by. After
supper, while we were starting on a stroll, we heard
lively songs, which seemed to proceed from the rear part
of our hotel.
" That sounds like old Georgia, Phil. They are labor-
ers from the country, who have come to town to spend
their holiday to-morrow, and are drinking whiskey in
the kitchen. It's the first whiskey music I've heard
since I left home."
160 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
The boys were having a good time. We approached
near the room where they were feasting, situated on the
street crossing that on which the hotel fronted. Jim
listened attentively. After some time, he turned and
said:
"It sounds right, but I can't understand one blessed
word they say. That isn't English. I never heard such
a language."
" It is Gaelic," said I.
The party broke up after finishing their supper, and
came out upon the street. As soon as Jim ascertained
that they could speak English, he began to make ac-
quaintance with them, and by a timely contribution for
their next day's dinner induced them to talk about their
work, and translate several expressions from one to the
other language.
" Well, that's a language that I did'nt know was yet
in the world. That language, Gaelic, as you call it,
seems to be that of the poor people in their talk with
one another. The learned folks, they tell me, don't
speak it, and don't know it."
" With some exceptions, that is true. The Gaelic is
the native language of the Highlanders, and they have
not yet given it up. This seems to be the last liberty
that the vanquished will part from. These people would
feel that they were unfaithful to the memory of their
forefathers if they were to do so. They learn the lan-
guage of their conquerors; but in their domestic and
social relations, they adhere to their hereditary tongue."
" I don't blame 'em ; I like 'em the better for it. I
believe in a people being true to their own folks. It's
awfully outlandish, but it sounds pretty and affectionate
like. That's right, boys," he said, turning again to the
TWO GRAY TOUBISTS. 161
laborers, " hang on to the language that your mammies
talked and sung to you when they were suckling and
rocking you to sleep. And now let's all go in and take
one more drink and then break up."
Hauling me along, he went into the kitchen, followed
by a dozen or fifteen of the Highlanders, and ordered a
bumper.
" Here's to your ancestors and forefathers, your fathers
and mothers, your wives and children, uncles, aunts and
cousins — Scotch, English, and Irish. Go ahead, boys,
work hard, be honest, and hang on to your native tongue
as long as you've got tongues to hang by, and let's all of
us try to mind our own business and let other people's
alone."
The very rafters shook with the applause which this
sentiment evoked.
" Now, give me one more song, and then I shall have
to leave you and put this old gentleman to bed. He's a
good man, you see, and powerful high-learned and smart,
but— feeble."
They applauded again, and at once broke out into a
mountain song. When it was over, Jim said :
" Good, very good. I didn't know what it was about,
but it sounded much like our Georgia corn-song :
Ando, And-a-a-a
Turn de wagon over-er-er,
Ando, And-a-a-a
Turn de wagon over.
Now good-bye, boys; may yon always have plenty of
work to do, and get well paid for doing it."
We shook hands with each one. and then leaving them
retired to our chamber.
14*
162 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
The next morning, after breakfast, we were on one of
the great open-topped coaches for Loch Katrine. Just
before we would have reached St. Bride's we turned sud-
denly to the left and travelled up the vales of Venna-
choir and Loch Acray, having to our left Carchowzie
Woods and Bochastle Eidge.
" I see they've got a bridge over it now," Jim remarked,
pointing to Coilintogle Ford. Those two fellows, Fitz
James and Rhoderic Dhu, had pluck to go to fighting
there with nobody to part 'em."
On and on, by Lanric Mead, Duncraggon, the Brigg
of Turk, and the margin of Achray. Passing Grlenfinlas,
Ben An rose in rivalry to Ben Ledi, the Trossachs
bristled before us, and Benvenue loomed to the left
across Loch Katrine.
" What ! " said Jim to the coachman, who, in answer
to the question, what was the name of the Trossachs
hotel, as we halted to take in a passenger.
"Ardcheanachrochan."
"I give it up. Phil, you must put those names down
in my blank book, with some sort of pronunciation to
the right of 'em. For the present, give me another name
for this place."
" Well, what do you say to The High End of the Rocks?
for that is what it means."
"I thought it must mean something. But if their
idea was to give it a nick-name for short they missed it.
Now Ben, I can reconcile, and by the way, they name a
many a thing here Ben ; but I know plenty of Bens in
Georgia. Right along here somewhere Fitz James lost
his horse, it seems. None but them that could afford to
lose horses would ever think of hunting with 'em in
such places as these. Read what Scott said when he got
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 1G3
on the top and took his view of the country around."
Here it is, said I :
"And now to issue from the glen,
No pathway meets the wanderer's ken,
Unless he climb, with footing nice,
A far projecting precipice.
The broom's tough roots It's ladder made,
The hazel saplings lent their aid ;
And thus an airy point he won,
Where, gleaming with the setting sun,
One burnished sheet of living gold
Loch Katrine lay beneath him rolled,
In all her length far winding lay,
With promontory, creek and bay,
And islands that empurpled bright,
Floated amid the livelier light,
And mountains, that like giants stand,
To sentinel enchanted land.
High on the south, huge Benvenue
Down on the lake in masses threw
Crags, knolls, and mounds confusedly hurled,
The fragments of an earlier world ;
A wildering forest feathered o'er,
His ruined sides and summit hoar,
While on the north, through middle air,
Ben An heaved high his forehead bare."
Jim frankly admitted that he could not have expressed
it better, though he certainly would have used fewer
words.
Arriving at the shore where the little steamer had
been some time awaiting us, we hurried on board, and
in a few moments were slowly encircling the island.
With eager eyes we marked the " aged oak " from which
"A little skiff shot to the bay,"
and the Lady of the Lake peered across the pebbled
104 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
shore into the dense hazel shade, from which, instead
of Douglass or the Graeme, emerged the royal adven-
turer. Passing the island, we looked upon Ben venue
and the birch-covered Bealachnambo. The captain,
while drinking a cup of ale with Jim, pointed out to us
Coiran-Uriskin whither Ellen and Allan Bane retired
on the eve of the battle.
" English names, when they've got 'em, captain, if
you please. It is'nt worth while for me even to try to
remember the Scotch ones except these Bens."
The captain smiled, and anglicizing Bealachnambo
into Cattle Pass, and Coiran-Uriskin into Goblin's
Cave, did the like with others as we passed along.
"Yonder, you see, Phil, at that hole in the ground,
begins the aqueduct that carries the water from this
lake to. Glasgow. Well, I envise no man (as Gabe Nash
says) who has to drink town-water, but if I had it to do,
this is as clean and nice as I should ever expect to get."
Landing at Stronachlacker, and taking another coach
for Inversnaid, the four milk white horses rushed at
full speed along the declivities and levels of the way,
giving us little chance to notice the bracken on the
mountain side to our right, and the marsh shrubbery
to our left on the tarn extending southward to Loch
Arklet. Peyond this we could see Ben Lomond the
loftiest of all beginning the long line of the Grampians.
Suddenly a shower came down white and soft like snow
upon us. The coachman did not even lift the leather
covering from the boot, and laughed at Jim and me as
we crouched under our umbrellas, which we could
scarcely hold as we dashed along.
" I don't see the fun," said Jim, " what is it ? "
" Kiverrhing feerrom a mist," he answered, laughing
more and more.
TWO ftllAY TOURISTS. 165
"A mist? I cull ifc a rain."
"Na. Only a mist."
"But it'll make wet, for it's already got through my
umbrella and shawl. Ain't you getting wet ? "
"Na, na. The mist dinna wet the Scotch."
" I should say you had tolerable thick hides then. If
you call this a mist, I should'nt like being out travelling
in one of your rains."
At Inversnaid, besides a good dinner, Jim on the plea
of having wet knees and shoulders tried the Scotch
whiskey. But how anybody could like that smoky stuff
except occasionally as punch of a cold rainy night, he
could'nt see. He merely took it now as a brace against
the mist.
The scenery on Lochlomond was even finer than that
in Loch Katrine.
" Fact," said Jim, " I don't like to give it up, but it's
so. Along here was Rob Roy's country. He was an-
other rusher, like Rhoderick Dhu."
"Yes; just a little behind us up the lake was Craig-
royston, Rob-Roy's Cove, and — "
" Look here, Phil, don't you be coming over me with
them Scotch names. It's enough for these people to do
that. They come natural to their throats. I say throats;
for there's where they start from, and they get out of
their mouths the best way they can. It's enough to
give a fellow the asthma to try to pronounce 'em. I
think a little spell of asthma would do good in this
case. Rob-Roy's Cove, you say ? "
" Yes ; there is where he held councils with his fol-
lowers ; it was in the country of the Macfarlane clan."
" Clans, indeed ! they were what ruined this country."
"No doubt their feuds contributed most to the
166 TWO CRAY TOURISTS
destruction of the separate existence of Scotland. We
are now in the midst of scenes where many of the most.
murderous battles were had. It is sad to know that
snch a lovely region as that around these lochs was ever
occupied by a bloody-minded people. Glen Einlas,
Glen Artney, Glen Eruin, Glen Lnss: no tongue and no
pen can properly describe their matchless beauty, even
as they appear to the traveller while passing along their
borders, and noticing how they make their windings
among the mountains. One is always confounded to
know how those clans, the Stuarts, MacGregors, Calquo-
houns, Macfarlanes, so brave, so hardy, and (within
their limited spheres) so patriotic, should not have
striven, if they must have been rivals at all, to make
their own first among equals in a confederacy of States
that would have been unconquerable. What a sequel to
the history of Greece! But it is a fact, however un-
natural, that the deadliest feuds ahvays obtain among
those, whether clans or families, whose welfare and
happiness mostly depend upon peace and fraternity.
We ought to have taken at least one more day, Jim, for
this tour. Yonder is Kowardennan where tourists begin
the ascent of Ben Lomond. To say nothing of the moun-
tains, we should have taken time at least to linger awhile
among these lovely islands."
" We would'nt remember the name of a single one of
'em; at least I would'nt except the first syllable, though
there's a big family of 'em ; these Bens I know pretty
well, but I can't go the Inches, as they call their islands.
Let me hear you call a few of 'em."
" Easily enough. There's Inchlonaig, the Deer park
of Sir James Colquhoun."
" Go ahead."
TWO (lit AY TOl UI.-7S. 107
" Inchconachan, Inchtaranach, Inchgalbraith, Inch-
cruin, Inchcalleoch, Inch "
"That'll do. You need'nt go any further. You've
hawked your throat, and made mouths to no purpose.
You did'nt get one of 'em right ; nowhere in the neigh-
borhood of being right one single time. I looked and
listened both to one of those Scotch fellows a few minutes
ago when he was calling 'em over for me, and he looked
like another person altogether when he got his mouth
and face screwed up ready to start. You did'nt begin
right, Phil, and the longer you kept at it, the further
off you got. The spelling of 'em has nothing to do
with the pronouncing of 'em ; not a blessed thing. Yes,
they are mighty pretty, the prettiest country I ever saw,
if they'd give names that a body could call and remem-
ber."
From right to left, from left to right, in constant
alternation, we walked in order to see as much as possi-
ble of noted places, Balmaha, Rossdhu, Buchanan
House, Glenfruin, Arden, Bilvetero, Cameron and others.
It was almost with pain we saw the boat come to land.
Taking the train at Balloch, a few minutes travel down
the banks of the Leven, brought us to Dunbarton, the
ancient Alcmyd, " Rock High on the Clyde."
" Dunbarton ? Is'nt that the place they took Mary,
Queen of Scots, from when she was a child and carried
her to France ? "
" The same. This old castle (how lofty and strong it
looks !) is full of historic recollections — Roman, Briton,
Pict, Saxon and Norman."
Not long afterwards we passed through Bowling and
Kilpatrick, where, in spite of himself, Jim had to notice
more of the remains of old Ant'ny's wall, as he called it,
168 TWO GRAY TOtTRISTS.
and moving into Glasgow went to the Queen's Hotel
Having only the rest of that afternoon at our disposal,
we took a drive through the Irongafce, Queen and
Buchanan Streets to Kelvin Grove and the university.
In spite of the general unpicturesqueness of the town,
compared with Edinburgh, we were most agreeably
impressed by the many superb edifices, public and
private.
" The business, the business that's done in this town,"
said Jim that night, after reading an hour or two of its
operations and resources, "cotton, iron, ship-building,
medicines, etc., etc. There's one thing here, however,
which I expected to see, from the looks of the place : it's
very unhealthy, especially for children. We did'nt see
the cathedral, Phil. That's one more, if I had thought
about it sooner, I should have been willing to go to."
"I know why. To see the spot where Eob Roy was
once."
"Exactly. But we went through the Salt Market
where old Nicol Jarvie lived, any how."
" The thing in the cathedral I should specially have
liked to see is the crypt. That, they say, is the most
imposing in the kingdom."
"I don't care about seeing any more of such places
myself. I tell you, I believe in having graveyards out
of doors, under the trees, and where there's air."
Next morning, after a walk around George's Square,
we took the train for London. As we travelled south-
ward, the lands in Lanark rose into hills, and in Ayr,
to the east and southeast, into mountains. Less fertile
obviously than the eastern shore, yet the crops showed a
thrifty population. Anything for a living, Jim pro-
pounded, as we passed along through the towns of Ayr,,
in some of which, as Mauchline and Crumnoch, the
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 169
chief manufactures were snuff boxes. He had no fancy
for the weed in that shape; but that was none of his
business ; and he did'nt care who had, especially when
it gives a living to so many poor people. To get that
out of this sort of land was an up-hill business. No
wonder Bob Burns, after plowing all his life, looked out
for a little office. "I've read a good deal about this
county. It's better for farming now than it was in
Burns' time, though no great things yet. That rich
man — what's his name?— the Duke of Portland. He
has done much for it by his extensive drainings. This
county has a better system of artificial draining than
any in the country. What mountains are those away
over yonder on our right ? It's a bigger country than I
thought. Oh, I see now by the map, they are the Hills
of Arran, on the other side of the Firth of Clyde."
As we passed along, I thought, and I made my com-
panion interested in Border Minstrelsy. Of the ballads
I recited, he said he liked best that of Kirhconnell
lee, and wished, when we were rushing by Kirkcon-
nell, that we had time to visit the churchyard where
are the graves, side by side, of Fair Helen and her lover,
who died on the banks of the Kirtle so long ago.
" Stop right there," he said, in the midst of my reci-
tation of Lord Lovel. " Need'nt think I know nothing
of those old fellows. Why, I can sing that one."
Then he lifted his voice high and sang the four
remaining stanzas :
So lie ordered the grave to be opened wide,
And the shroud be turned down,
And there he kissed her clay-cold lips
Till the tears came trickling down, down, down,
Till the tears came trickling down.
15
170 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
Lady Nancy she died, it might be, to-day,
Lord Lovel lie died as to-morrow ;
Lady Nancy she died out of pure, pure grief,
Lord Lovel he died out of sorrow-orrow-orrow,
Lord Lovel he died out of sorrow.
Lady Nancy was laid in St. Pancras's Church,
Lord Lovel was laid in the choir ;
And out of her bosom there grew a red rose,
And out of Lord Lovel's a brier-ier-ier,
And out of Lord Lovel's a brier.
They grew and they grew, to the church-steeple top,
And then they could grow no higher ;
And there they entwined in a true lover's knot,
Eor all lovers true to admire-ire-ire,
For all lovers true to admire.
In Dumfries pleasing was the contrast between the
rugged country behind us with the gentle undulations
along the Nith. At Langholm, we had a glimpse of
Langholm Tower, once the castle of the Armstrongs,
now of the Dukes of Buccleugh. At Dumfries town I
alluded to the death of John Comyn by the hands of
Robert Bruce.
" Such as that is all over with here now. You see
little ships come up to this town to bring coal and slate,
iron, tallow, hemp, bones, and carry off hats, stockings,
leather, shoes, and even baskets."
" Well ! if that is not a coming down from thoughts
of claymore, and battle axe, and treading to the music
of bag-pipes to — tallow, and stockings, and basket-
making ! "
" Coming down ! thunder and lightning ! they never
commenced coming up in this country until they got to
making baskets and such things, and having something
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 171
to put in 'em. It was basket-making, as you call it,
that kept from dying out what few of them had'nt got
killed in the wars. As for those old bag-pipes, of all
the music in this world, not even except bell-ringing, it
is the poorest I noticed you, Phil, when they were
blowing the everlasting things at Stirling ; you looked
as if you were trying your best to believe the music
was good, but you could'nt make it out."
" Oh, I enjoyed it deeply, Jim. I was being carried
back to the brave old days when— ah — "
" Yes, I think it is — ah ! And as for stockings, these
Highlanders never wore 'em because they could'nt afford
to, and now, when they can, they don't, because their
ancestors did'nt. But considering they don't wear
breeches, I think stockings would come in now very
well to hide some of their nakedness and a heap of
their dirt."
Such and similar was the talk we had as we travelled
along, through Euthwell ; and Cummurtrus, where we
looked upon Kinmount House, the stately residence of
the Marquis of Queensbury; and through the vale of
Annan to Gretna Green. Jim expressed a curiosity to
know the probable number of runaway matches joined
here that had turned out well. I remarked that he was
a great man for statistics. "Yes," he answered, "I
always want to know how many. I never see a flock of
geese that I don't try to count 'em, or, when I can't,
guess at 'em. Somehow, this is a satisfaction to me.
Well, here we part from old Scotland. Fare you well.
Old lady : proud as you are of what you used to be with
your claymores, and battle axes, and slogans, and coro-
nachs, and what all, you are better off now with making
snuff-boxes, and stockings, and baskets, and all such as
172 TWO GRAY TOUEISTS.
give your poor people a plenty to eat. Farewell, and
may you never go back on yourself, is the wish of yours
respectfully."
He waived an adieu backward as we passed the bridge.
More fertile and picturesque the country became as it
widened from the Solway. Passing through Carlisle,
while I dwelt upon King Arthur, the Round Table,
Adrian's Well, and the castle of William Rufus, my
companion talked of the dye, and prints, and leather,
and salmon trade of the new town. He calculated that
between us, Ave would get the most of what was worth
getting in this country, I the old and he the new.
" I'ts well you had me with you, Phil."
"No doubt about that, Jim. You've taught me
already more of the snuff-box and basket business than
I thought was possible to be in them."
"And you — if you would study more about such
things, you'd be a richer man, and — no, you are right,
and you suit me exactly, Phil. You are making me
notice the things which Emily and the girls told me I
had to see and tell 'em about. You better believe I'll
talk to 'em right about Ellen's Isle, and Dumbarton,
and the claymore, and all those old fellows. Still, I like
to find out, as I go along, what it is that makes the pot
boil."
More lovely yet the prospect from Carlisle to Penrith.
On the east and on the west, beyond the valleys and the
lower hills, were the Fells, and we could descry in the
wrest, towering high above all, Skiddaw. Penrith lies
snugly in the. vale of the Edmont and the Lowther,
while on the neighboring heights are Brougham and
Eden Halls, and Dacre Castle. Crossing the Edmont
into Westmoreland, gliding along between the Lowther
TWO GEAY TOURISTS. 173
and the tributary waters of the Eden, we looked out
with continual delight upon the increasing fells and
mountains.
" What a people these English are, Phil. It makes no
difference what sort of region they live in, they are
going to conquer it. See, on this map, what little
ground is fit for cultivation. Not a tenth is plowed,
and not a quarter fit for pasturage. Yet, see the large
towns where money is made every year by the million,
Appleby, Orton, Kendal, Kirkby, Ambleside, Tibay, Low
Gill — what's his name ? Still a fellow can call 'em.
Out of these lakes they export fish, and from the moun-
tains they get granite, slate, marble, copper, and lead ;
and what else would you suppose ? Why, geese ; geese
by the hundred thousand. And now I see, we are leav-
ing the valley of the Lowther, and getting into that of
the Line, and at Kendal will enter that of the Ken,
which widens into the Bay of Moncambe."
Again in Lancashire. Farming and cattle raising to
Jim's content, and manufacturing, and everything else.
None of your Lancasters and Gaunts now. John of
Gaunt'-s castle, like that at York, holds business-offices.
No more fighting for Roses, old friend, but working for
victuals and good clothes, and houses and fat cattle, and
living on till it is the good Lord's time to die, instead of
falling down with daylight put through their bodies with
sword or musket-ball. We don't stop at Lancaster ; no,
not until we get to Preston. Priest- town, eh ? of old,
because of the number of priests that used to live here.
A solid town, he should say, from the looks, and much
bigger than he thought. Three hundred thousand bales
of cotton a year manufactured here. " I tell you what,
Phil, we've been pretty well through this country,
have'nt we ? " j5*
174 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
" Rigodunnm ! " said I, closing my book.
"Rigger-what?"
" Rigodunum. That is the name of the old Roman
town, on the ruins of which the present one arose."
"That's another bit of history that had entirely
escaped my recollection. You would'nt have supposed,
would you, that I'd haye forgot as notorious a fact as
that? Ah, a treacherous memory, as old Jack Pool
told his brethren at Big Bethel when they reminded
him of his promise not to get drunk any more before
Christmas. Well, we'll let old Riggy depart in peace.
I think a little chicken and beer and Scotch bread will
do you good, Phil. A man that can think right along
here of Rigodunum shows his stomach is empty."
He opened the basket and uncorked the bottles. We
ate, and drank, and smoked at our leisure. The re
mainder of our journey to London, as we had passed
over most of the ground before, we spent in comparing
our impressions from what we had seen in our rapid
circuit. Jim said it made him a little homesick to turn
his back on old Georgia again ; but, oh ! it was such a
consolation to know how faithfully he was taking care
of his feeble old friend.
"Just so."
"Adzactly."
CHAPTER XIV.
FTER much consideration as to a route for a
brief journey to the Continent, we concluded
to pass at once to Belgium, and after a visit
to the Rhine and Switzerland, return by Paris.
At the station in London, when we were about taking
the train for Harwich, a trifling incident occurred that
made known to us a system of travel of which, although
considerably practiced hitherto, we were ignorant. We
had already selected our carriage, stowed away our lug-
gage, and were walking up and down the platform when
we observed a short, brisk German, plainly dressed,
wearing a small leathern valise at his side, which was
strapped over his shoulders. He went about hurriedly
among the crowd, speaking occasionally first to one then
another, darting here and there as if in search of some-
thing of momentous importance. Those whom he
addressed would follow him implicitly to the different
carriages and be shoved in, while he would sing out,
" Dish way, dish way, you, here," and " Dare, dish
way !" to others to whom he was beckoning. Jim was
amused by his actions, and remarked that, considering
his size and looks, the little Dutchman seemed to have
a surprising amount of business; and that in fact, by
gracious, he believed he Avas actually shipping people.
A moment afterwards, the man, returning near where we
(175)
176 TWO OKAY TOURISTS.
stood, and looking first upon a paper which he licit! in his
hand, and, then around him, suddenly darted upon Jim,
and Beizing him by the coat, tails, asked:
"Arrah you a Cuke?"
Jim recoiled a step in blank amazement.
"Arrah you a Cuke?" persisted the German, with
much earnestness.
" Well, now, my friend, you arc a good deal smaller
man than I am, and then I rather think you ain't in
your souses. I don't care about raising a fuss with you,
because I'm a long way from home, and you are too
little a scrub for me to take the trouble to learn you
some manners. But I recommend you to be off, and — "
"I pegs partenj I taught you was vone off te Cukes."
The rapidity with which all this transpired prevented
me from explaining what, 1 had just ascertained from a
bystander, was the man's business.
"What upon earth does the little idiot mean?" asked
Jim.
Seeing me smiling, the ridiculousness of his own posi-
tion occurred to him, and he laughed aloud. Yet he
continued looking inquiringly at the retreating German:
"Is the fellow a fool?"
" Not he : far from it."
"My opinion is that he is, or, at least, out of his
senses for once. I've travelled a good deal in my time.
True, I'm further from home than 1 ever was before,
and, maybe, am coming down in my looks more than 1
was thinking: but this is the first time that I was ever
taken for a cook."
I could not bear to laugh at him further, and handed
to him a circular oi' Cooh's Tourist Agency that I had
just gotten, in which it was to be seen that this person
TWO Git AY TOUK1STS. 177
was one of that gentleman's agents, and on the eve of
starting with a party of travellers on his tickets ; and
that he had mistaken Jim for one of those whom he
was to conduct.
"Is that so?" said he, humbly. "Well, no; the
little fellow ain't a fool. If there's any fool in the case
— I always was too quick. I might have known — " he
hesitated to pay himself the compliment.
"Certainly. And yet you know, Jim, that they have
some cooks, or at least waiters, over here that are very
fine-looking men."
"Oh, get out. I owe you one, and I owe that little
fellow one more. Did you see how I jumped when he
came at me ? Blamed if I did'nt feel like I've felt
sometimes when a little fice snapped at my legs. A
little more, and I should have given him a kick, which
I would'nt grudge a thousand dollars that I did'nt."
Jim was delighted with what it was easy to see, the
agricultural advantages and industries of the county of
Essex, which we crossed from southwest to northeast on
the dividing line between the picturesque, rising, wooded
country on the left, and the low-lying, well-drained
arable land on the right.
"Just look at that wheat. I've heard of the Essex
wheat and the Essex calves. They raise here thousands
of calves and sheep for the London market. Great
quantities of saffron, too, and hops, caraway and such
This county is the principal kitchen-garden for London.
A big town, and a big garden. London keeps down all the
towns in this part of the country. This is a right nice-
looking little place, though; what do you call it?
Chelmsford? Two more rivers, I see, the Chelmer and
the Cann. They call every little spring branch over
178 TWO GKAY TOUEISTS.
here a river. I see they put down nine for this county.
All of 'em together would'nt make one as big as the
Savannah at Augusta."
The rush for berths at Harwich was great. But Jim,
with his usual good management, succeeded at once in
making terms with the steward, and, as usual, pleaded
the advanced age and infirmities of his old friend.
"Pretty good capital, Phil, for us both. You keep
quiet. You need'nt be afraid of being taken to be too
much older than I am. Besides, you don't expect to
marry in this country, no how."
"One would suppose you did from the manner in
which you vaunt your youth, and propose to fight young
men."
" That reminds me — " and he walked away. A few
moments afterwards, when the steamer was under weigh,
I saw him and the little German sitting down together
on one of the benches with a bottle of beer between
them, tipping their glasses, smoking cigars, and chatting
in a lively manner. Approaching where they were, Jim
rose and introduced me to — ah, Mr. Snapper ?
" Schnauffer. Your fren was trought tat I call him
vone cuke, te cuke tat cake te beeve and te sheeken. It
was ver funny."
"You have quite a number of Cooks with you," I
answered.
"Saxteen, Americ, Scost, Inglis, Wels. Te most
Americ. Tay spheak not te Ooropen langidge, and it is
more convenabble tat I go vit tern."
He showed us his route, and one of his books of
tickets and coupons. It is certainly a method of trav-
elling convenient to those who speak no language but
English, and could be satisfied with the hotels to which
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 179
they are carried, the enforced companionship through-
out of those with whom they start together, and the
will of the guide as to the times of sojourning at the
different places on the route.
We retired early and slept satisfactorily. When I
awoke the next morning, Jim was already up and on
deck. I rose, dressed myself, and joined him.
"Everything looks outlandish to me. The very ships,
so black and flat, don't seem natural. We are already
in the river you say Antwerp is on. What do you
call it?"
"The Scheldt."
" You may call it that, or anything else you please
for me. I don't expect to get anything right in pro-
nouncing what little of that business I shall have to do
over here. What a flat country ; a dead level with the
sea. But ain't there many a windmill? No wonder.
Any quantity of wind always about to move 'em. Plenty
of water, too, as to that, but it's got no fall. I feel like
I was already a thousand miles further off than I was
this time yesterday. I want to get through this part of
the trip as soon as possible. You are the only man,
Phil, on top of the ground that I would ever have come
with this far from home."
The sight of the ancient city revived his spirits much.
It does present a fine view to the approach with its
immense basin ; crowded with ships, and its numerous,
lofty spires. Jim kept close to my side when the boat
landed. Passing our luggage without difficulty before
the custom-house officers, we went ashore and took a
carriage for the hotel.
" Easier than I expected," said Jim ; " what did that
fellow ask you ? "
180 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
" Whether we had any tobacco or cigars."
" Tobacco and cigars ! why that's what they asked us
at Liverpool. They must be the main things they
smuggle over here. But, now, do let me ask you : did
you ever see such horses since you were born? I've
heard of the Flemish horses; but these are a hickory
over what I expected. Look at those two bays hitched
to that wagon or cart, or whatever kind of a whimididdle
it is. They'd weigh over two thousand pounds apiece.
And what a load. A yoke of oxen could'nt draw as
much, nor seem more awkward. They don't look as if
they could trot at all. And those collars! They must
have cheap leather to waste it that way in collars. I tell,
you everything over here looks outlandish to me."
Leaving our luggage at the hotel, we spent the couple
of hours before lunch in driving around.
" Pretty solid buildings," said Jim, after we had seen
the Exchange, the Hotel de Ville, the Maison Ansiatic,
and the palace erected for the occasional sojourn of the
royal family. " Better than I expected to see. As for
this street, Place de — something — Meir, it's the prettiest
we've seen anywhere. I should say, though, that this
town isn't as big as it used to be. It looks, especially at
the end behind us, as if its been worn out in that direc-
tion and then cut off."
" That's just the fact. Antwerp used to contain two
hundred thousand. Now it has very many less. The
towns on the coast have competed with it. It used to
have a monopoly of the commerce on the waters of the
North Sea."
"All right. I'm against monopolies of all kinds, for
towns or folks. Let everybody have a fair chance."
I persuaded him to enter with me into the cathedral.
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 181
"I'll go with yon/7 said he, "to a few of 'em; but I
tell you, Phil, they're too tiresome and solemn for me to
spend much of my time at."
He was, however, more interested than I expected him
to be. Indeed, few persons could view without interest
this great edifice, and especially those pictures that adorn
its walls. He looked long at The Descent from the Cross,
and remarked, after we went out, that it was the most
natural looking picture of that kind that he had yet
seen.
" Those faces look more like real people than any of
them in the pictures of what you call the old masters."
" Tkat is because Eubens painted from living persons.
Some of the figures are portraits of his relatives and
friends."
" I don't know so well about that," said he, with a
somewhat troubled look.
"Nor I either."
We had dismissed the coachman on entering, and now
but for Jim's clearness of head in the matter of locality
we should have had some difficuly in finding the hotel.
As it was, after winding here and there, often against
my remonstrance that we were going precisely wrong,
we made our way in good time.
" I can't speak their language, Phil ; but I'm as hard
to fool about places as a pig."
"A pig?"
" Yes, sir, a pig. There isn't an animal on the face of
the earth, not even excepting a pigeon, that has as clear
ideas about places as a pig."
Not having time for the discussion of this point, we
hastily took our lunch and were on the train for Brus-
sels. When we were fairly out of Antwerp, Jim began
Iris remarks upon the country. 1G
182 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
"A mighty difference between this and England — pop-
lars instead of paks, poplars, poplars — Lombardy poplars!
and in straight rows. No hills either; no branches and
creeks. Give me England and Scotland before a dead
level like this. But this people know how to work it.
By ditching and underdraining they've knocked the bot-
tom out from the crawfish and tadpoles. There isn't
anything like getting used to a thing."
As we traveled, the country became more picturesque >
yet the long, double rows of poplars could not compen-
sate for the clumps of wide-spreading oaks on English
hill-sides, and the winding willow shades on the clear
brooks. As we passed through Malines, Jim remarked
that he had never heard of that place.
'• But it is an important town," said I, " and bears to
Belgium the same relation that Clapham sustains to
England. One may take the cars here for any place in
the country. That Cathedral is seven hundred years
old. Kubens' picture of the Last Sup2)er is in that ; his
Adoration of the Magi is in that of St. John's. In the
Church of the Eecollets is The Crucifixion of Vandyke. ,J
In Brussels, at the Hotel de la Clos.
Jim felt as if he was further and further from home
as we sat, after dinner, in the court looking around at
the quaint walls and windows, the flower-pots and shrub-
bery, and the small aquarium in the corner near the
door of the dining-room, and listened to the strange
mixture of French and Flemish of the busy domestics.
" So little like old Georgia. Such talking! Even if
a body could pick up a few of their words, these people
talk so fast they would all run into one. I always like
to talk with people whenever I travel. I shall have to
put up with you, Phil, until we cross this channel again."
TWO GRAY TOUKISTS. 183
I consoled him with the assurance that lie would meet
many Americans, and those among Europeans who could
speak English.
The next morning he joined the Cook party, who had
reached Brussels later, in a visit to Waterloo, while I
went to St. Guclule, the Churches of Notre Dame, des Vic-
toires, de la Chapelle, and the Hotel de Ville, wherein the
abdication of Charles V took place in the year 1555. After
his return we drove around, seeing, among others, the
palace of Laeken, once the residence of Josephine, where
Napoleon signed the declaration of war against Prussia.
Brussels is certainly beautiful — most beautiful, next
to Edinburgh, and surpassing it in public walks. The
Boulevards with their lime trees, the Allee Verte along
the canal from the town to the Scheldt, the park, Royal
palace, and the superb public offices, inspired us with
admiration. Jim was running over with recollections
of the sights at Waterloo. I tried to speak of the revo-
lution of 1830, which resulted in Belgian independence
and the elevation to the throne of Leopold of Saxe
Coburg. But he came at me with Waterloo, whose great
battle he had never fully understood until to day, when
he went over the very ground. So we made short
speeches apiece. As we passed a shop where the manu-
facture of laces was carried on, at his suggestion, we
alighted and entered. Entertaining as this was, yet it
was painful to look upon these poor women as they bent
over their tasks, and with strained eyes brought almost
in contact with the gossamer threads, they moved back
and forth with marvellous rapidity, the numerous black,
wooden handles that dangled upon the boards.
The next morning early we were off again. Jim was
quite satisfied to diverge from the party of the Little
Dutchman.
184 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
"Too much following like sheep. He did the think-
ing and the talking. It's convenient, but I like to think
for myself, even if I can't tongue it out. Besides, he
don't talk well enough for one man, let alone fifteen."
At Louvain we turned abruptly to the right, and sped
along the fine country to the southeast. The approach
to Liege through the fertile valleys of the Meuse and
the Ourthe bringing us to the sudden summits of Sainte
Walburg and Le Oornillon was enchanting. Jim said
here was another Birmingham, but not half as healthy.
Did anybody ever see such high houses and such narrow
streets ? The sun never gets into some of them. And
what was I straining to see with my glasses — "
" St. Denis, St. Croix, St. Martin, and St. Bartolemy,
and the cathedral. You have read Quentin Durward,
have'nt you, Jim ? "
" Certainly. I forgot that some of the scenes are laid
here."
" The present Palais de Justice was the bishop's palace
in the times of the Dukes of Burgundy."
" Those old fellows, according to Scott, made a mis-
take in taking up with the Wild Boar of — what was it ? "
"Ardennes. This whole country used to be the foot-
ball of the tyrants of Europe, and, you know, is yet the
fighting ground for the neighboring great powers. But
the people, who can't help that and who are naturally
fond of peace, take the best care of themselves possible
until the wars are over, go to work again, get richer and
richer from all their resources, and now Belgium is the
most populous country in Europe."
At Pepinster, we turned to the northeast, where
another lovely valley appeared, that of the Vesdres,
with its background of dark green hills. Shortly after
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 185
passing Verviers, we entered the territory of Prussia,
but without knowing this fact when Ave changed cars.
Before starting off again, a stern-looking, full-bearded
man, dressed iu brown uniform, suddenly thrusting his
head through the window, addressed to us some words in
curt and apparently threatening tones. I guessed at his
office, and, taking down my valise, started to open it. The
man who brought him there, and who had acted as
guard on the train we had left, showed his remembrance
of Jim's civility in giving him a glass of beer not long
before, by speaking to the officer in an assuring tone,
and he immediately left us.
" What in this world did that fellow want, Phil ? "
"He is, doubtless, a Prussian custom house officer."
" Upon my word, when he began — I was looking out
of the window over there — I thought it was a dog
growling at you ; and when I turned and saw that hairy
face, I was'nt much better off. He must have been
cussing about something. If the balance of the people
over here have no better manners than that, the sooner
we get out of this country the better. Let's do the
best we can with this lunch and Ehine wine. I've got
my native appetite yet, if I have lost my speech."
A soothing influence upon us both, these, and cigars
afterwards. Jim sat with his legs in the window as
complacently as if he had been in his own piazza, and
surveying his own cornfields. I told him after a while
that he must stir about, as we were approaching classic
ground.
" Explain yourself," said he, lazily shifting his cigar
to the other corner of his mouth.
"This is Aix-la-Chapelle, the famous Aquae of the
Romans. A little farther on, that little town, Duren
16*
186 two okay roi EUSTS,
on the Boer, which you see on the map, was the ancient
Mareodornm. The Emperor Charlemagne, destroyed
that town; this was his favorite residence.
u Bight nice-looking old burg. Trace her back, Phi),
and tell me another time. That wine is first-rate, but it
has made me sleepy."
" What ! sleep here in the very presence of the Roman
legions, of Charlemagne and his Paladins. oi' Tacitus
and his Germain' a, and within half an hour o( the Rhine
and Cin'fas Cbiorum?"
"Never better: those very names make me go it
easier."
While he was taking his nap, I mused undisturbed on
the eventful history oi' the country. In half an hour,
this day's journey came to its end, and we were at the
Hottl Holland* in Cologne. Having at our disposal
only that afternoon, we made tin1 most ot' our time.
Jim's observations of the old city seemed peculiar. I
shall let him speak for himself.
"Phil." he said that night, "my ideas oi' churches
have got turned upside down since we've been over here.
Now a church, I always thought, was a house — (big or
little, according to the size oi' the town or the member-
ship)— was a house where people could go to meeting of
a Sunday morning, hear a good, bad, or indifferent
sermon, and then shut up the house until meeting-day
comes around again. Over here they go to work build-
ing churches, like they were building towns. Now, the
idea of being six or seven hundred years at t his old
cathedral, and, by gracious, not done with it yet. They
first put up one part. After a while, somebody comes
along, and runs another part across it. or alongside of
it. Two or three hundred years afterwards, somebody
TWO GRAY TOUBI8TS. 187
else pieces on to it what he calls a chapel, and other
people piece on more chapels, until it is perfectly aston-
ishing how big and rambling it will get to be after a
while. AVhy, a fellow might get lost— you would every
time — in that building mixed up with those chapels
and pillars. I counted a hundred of them, some of 'em
ten feet thick. And then there don't seem to be any
particular time for holding meetings, preaching or
prayer meetings. People go in at all times, many of
'em one at a time, and everybody appears to have his
prayers all to himself. But ain't they rich ? But now,
what good it does to keep so many jewels and so much
silver and gold in a church I can't understand. We
must have seen hundreds of thousands of dollars worth
there to day. Who does it belong to ? That's the ques-
tion. And what good does it do locked up there ? I
know it isn't any of my business ; but I would like to
know what good it does, or what they expect it to do,
this dead capital. But the having graveyards in 'em,
that gets me the worst of all. I can't feel reconciled to
people being buried in houses, and being walked over,
and especially having their bones kept to show to
people. They may be The Three Kings,* as they call
'em, but I've no fancy for looking at the head, even of a
king, when it's off his shoulders. But as for that
matter, don't that other old church, St. Ursula f take
the lead in bones ? Literally lined with 'em. Eleven
thousand virgins! and that other one with the The-
* In the chapel of the Three Kings or Magi whose bones were brought
thrre from Constantinople by the Empress Helena.
t (n honor of St. Ursula, the English princess wl.o, according to the
legend, on her return from Rome, whithi r she had been on a pilgrimage,
was murdered near Cologne with her 11,000 virgins, whose bones are pre-
served in cases placed around the church.
188 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
bans! | I'm not going to folloAv you any more into
such places. I've got so confused already, that I'm
getting, it seems to me, to forget what churches were
meant for. Well, well, it's a curious old town, take it
by and large; and the dirtiest I should never wish to
see. I should think, with all the riches in their cathe-
dral, they might raise money enough somewhere to have
some of the biggest of this dirt taken up and hauled
away. Did anybody ever run up against such smells ?
They'll have to make more Cologne water than they do
to help that cause, and they say they make it here by
the thousand. Maybe they send it all away, and don't
use any themselves. No wonder it was invented here.
That old fellow, T expect, lived in one of the dirtiest
streets in the town, and learned how to make something
that would take the everlasting smell out of his nostrils.
It was a relief to get out of town this hot evening, and
take that boat up to the zoological gardens. They are
delightful. I've no doubt the people go there in such
crowds mostly to get rid of the smells in the town.
They work all day, and get their lungs and noses full
of 'em, and then go out there for a little fresh, clean
air before going to bed. That part of the trip here I
enjoyed in spite of that rascal of a guide I knew he
was a scamp as soon as, without our asking him, he
took us to that cologne-water shop, and I noticed him
give a wink to the store-keeper. You'd have bought
there if I had lit pinched you. I knew they did'nt have
the best article there, just from the looks of both of
'em. That guide won't forget us soon, I bet."
X >>t. Gereon! Dedicated to the Theban Legion with their captains,
Geivon and (iivgory, who were martyred there in the time of Diocle-
tian. Several hundreds of their skulls are arranged around the choir
^nder gilded arabesques.
TWO GKAY TOUEISTS. 189
The officers at the hotel were certainly not select in
the matter of the guide whom they furnished to us.
Jim had whispered to me at the cologne-water shop that
he was not to be trusted. So we left without purchasing
and went to another place. At the gardens we listened
to the finest music that I ever have heard from a band
of entirely wind instruments. They played several
pieces of my selection. After which I sent, at Jim's
suggestion, the guide to the musicians to join us in a
glass of beer. In settling for it, I handed several pieces
of money. Jim narrowly watched the guide as he made
the change. The musicians having left us to return to
the stand, I was about to put into my pocket the money
returned to me, when Jim broke in thus:
"A few more of them grochen, or whatever you call
'em. You have'nt given back the right change. If my
friend is willing to submit to the cheat, I ain't."
The man at first looked somewhat defiant, and then
began to argue.
" Stuff and nonsense ! I don't know what the Dutch
for that is. But you understand me. Fork over the
needful."
He put his hand to his head and frowned upon the
money thoughtfully, and said :
" Yath, yath. I believe—"
"Yath! Yath! No doubt about it. There, that's
it. Put it in your pocket, Phil. And now we've got
sense enough surely to find our way back by ourselves,
and may let this fellow go. See here, my honest friend,"
(turning to the man,) "you see this watch? We hired
you by the hour. You've been with us for exactly three
hours and twenty-five minutes to a second. Here's the
money for four hours. Now, you can go. None of your
190 TWO (iK.VY TOURISTS.
grumbling. Off with you, or I will have you arrested
for the money you kept when you bought us (he cigars.
You see that if I don't understand your language, 1
know some of your ways."
We found afterwards that there was a general com-
plaint among tourists concerning these guides (toutors)
at Cologne.
Our chamber was within a stone's throw of the Rhine.
For some time after Jim retired, I sat in the window
looking out and listening to its waters.
w Suppose you talk me to sleep, Phil, about this town.''
''Well. I was just thinking of the eventful destiny of
her who was born here, and iti honor of whom the town
was named and a colony established."
" You don't mean that the town was named after some-
body that was born in it ? That looks like putting the
cart before the horse."
"Yes, indeed. This was the old Oppidum Ubiorum"
"You don't tell me so. That name needed a change,
certain."
"While Germanicus was here stationed to keep down
the fierce tribes that Agrippa had transported across the
river, his daughter Agrippina, by his wife of the same
name, grand-daughter oi^ Augustus Caesar, was born."
"Upon my word, I thought that woman was born at
— somewhere else — a little farther tip the river — or down
it, I disremember which. Aggy, who, did you say?"
"Agrippina, daughter of Germanicus, grand-daughter
of Yipsanius Agrippa, and great grand-daughter of
Augustus."
"Gracious me! Rut I don't see how you get Cologne
out of any of those names."
" I'll tell you. After the death of her husbands, Gneus
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 191
Domitius Ahenobarbus and Crispus Passienus, Agrip-
pina married — "
" You don't mean to say she married again after bury
ing all those men ? "
" There were only two of them."
" I thought it was about five. Old Aggy seemed to
like the married life. Go ahead ; I have'nt heard better
talking to put a man to sleep in some time. Who did
the Avidow catch next ? "
" The Emperor Claudius, her uncle."
" Her uncle? Get out ! Was'nfc there any law against
that?"
" Yes ; but in their case it was avoided by a decree of
the Senate."
" That did'nt keep it from being a sin and a shame."
"And then she prevailed upon her husband to enlarge
the town into a colony, and had it named Colonia Ag-
grippinensis."
" That was — very fine. How did they — get on after — *'
" Badly. Claudius had already murdered his former
wife, Messalina. After his marriage with Agrippina,
she prevailed upon him to set aside from the succession
his own son Britannicus, in favor of her son Nero. When
Claudius intimated his purpose of restoring Britannicus
she poisoned him with mushrooms. After Nero's acces-
sion, in her ambition to control him, she overreached
herself, and he had her assassinated in her villa on the
Lucrine Lake."
The measured breathing from Jim's bed announced
that he was asleep. I sat some time musing upon the
ancient and mediaeval history of the place and went to
sleep at last, thankful for having seen the great Dom,
made, through centuries of pious endeavors, so fit for
the worship of God.
CHAPTER XV.
N" hour's ride next morning in the new part of
Cologne and a stroll in the fine gardens with-
out the walls, tended to subdue some of my
companion's hostility. But, he urged, that of
all the towns he had seen that which had " old walls "
around them, this was the one from which it would be
most sensible to have them removed, so as to give room
for some of the Avorst of the noisome odors to get out of
it. At ten o'clock we were on the boat for Mayence.
At once I opened my map, a " Panorama of the Rhine,"
which I had purchased the day before.
" You look, from the length of that map, as if you had
a good long geography lesson to get.*'
" Yes, sir ; I'm going to learn all I can to-day about
this river from Cologne to Mayence."
" Go ahead ; tell me something occasionally which you
think they'd be apt to ask me about at home, but not too
much. My head's pretty well packed now, and not
otherwise in very good order."
Among the Americans and English on board he soon
made acquaintances. Occasionally, as he passed by me in
his promenades on the deck, lie Mould address some
remark of playful encouragement of my studies or of
praise of the scenery around us.
(192)
TWO GKAY TOUK1STS. 193
"Stick to it, my son; I know it's hard, for I've been
all along there and got many a whipping. Still yon can
get it if yon .don't get discouraged and give it up, but
will keep at it. And then you'll be so smart, you know,
and feel so good that you had it to do. Pretty fair
farming country this ; and though there ain't as many
windmills as in Belgium, still there's a plenty, I should
say, for all reasonable neighborhood purposes. But,
hello! here's a considerable of a town over yonder to the
right. What is it ? and tell me an item or two ; I hope
it ain't Roman. By the way, I went to sleep sure enough
while you were talking about that widow. Those big
old names were as good as a dose of laudanum."
"You don't need laudanum nor any other soporific
when your head gets upon a pillow. That is Bonn.
Read what the guide book says about it."
"No, sir; no time to be reading books now, and no
great fancy for reading 'em very much any time, I'm
ashamed to say — at least on such subjects as old towns.
You were to do up the reading over here, yon know."
" Bonn is not a large place, but a very old and import-
ant one. All I can say about it now is, that the Miinster
was started by the Roman Empress Helena, that a garri-
son is here, an observatory, a university, and botanical
gardens."
'■You may put off about the Roman empress until to-
night, bed time."
" Here's a little bit of romance, Jim ; you'll read that
at least. We will come to the scene presently."
I gave him the guide-book and pointed out the account
of the unhappy Roland, the remains of whose castle,
Kolandseck, after passing the Seven Mountains, we
reached.
17
11)4 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
" Poor fellow ! But I should'nt have done any such
thing as that. When I got back from the wars and
found the girl, hearing I was dead, had gone into that
convent — but look here, man, would'nt they have let her
off when they knew that she had gone there under a mis-
take of the facts ? "
" No, Sir ; she was as dead to him there in Nunnen-
werth as if she had been in her grave."
"Well, I should'nt have settled on that hill, just to
be able to see all the time where she was, but I'd have
gone off as far as I could get."
"And married some other woman, doubtless."
" Not improbable. However, that would have looked
mean, and nothing good ever comes out of meanness. It
was a hard case all around."
Surely there is no where else so enchanting scenery as
that from Bonn to Ooblentz. The country itself, aside
from historic and romantic associations, seemed emi-
nently suited as a theatre for stirring events. The vari-
ations of mountain and vale, the remains of fortresses
apparently impregnable by all assaults except those of
time, united with these the memory of Roman, German,
and French prowess, of Paladin and Crusader, are so
crowded upon the mind as one travels up the famous
river that it is a hard day's work to note them all. At
Oberw inter one has barely time to take that fine view
backward to Rolandseck, Nunnenwerth, Drachenfels,
and the rest of the Siebenberg before he must turn to
the new beauties which lie in profusion on either side
before him. To the right, in rapid sequence, Unkelbach,
St. Apollinaris-Kirch, Remagen, the Valley of the Aar,
Rheinech, Andernach ; on the left, Tlnkel, Ochanfels,
Linz, Neuweid, Bendorf, the Island of Neiderwerth, and
many others.
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 105
"No wonder they call it strong, and are proud of it,"
Jim said, as we passed along by the base of Ehrenbreit-
stein, and looked up the long, steep, rocky ascent.
" Cannon nor trick can take that, nor famine either, for
they say the magazines and cisterns hold supplies enough
to last a hundred thousand men three years."
" It is a great fortress ; but yonder is a building at the
confluence of the Rhine and the Moselle more interesting
to me than that. It is the Church of St. Castor, founded
in the ninth century. That old church has seen many
a dynasty rise and fall from Charlemagne downwards.
It was there, after his death, that his grandsons met in
order to divide among themselves his vast dominions in
Germany, Italy, and France — the great empire of the
West"
1 I think they might have taken some other place
besides a church to settle up the estate. Coblentz ! It's
a curious name, but a sight easier to call than the most
of them we've seen to-day."
" Coblentz is a corruption of the Eoman conflue/itia,
so called from the confluence of the two rivers."
"It sounds different now. Been through so many
mouths, and German mouths at that, it's been smartly
chawed. There's the dinner-bell. You won't go down ?
All right. I'll send you a beefsteak and half bottle of
Moselle. Let me know when I get to Bin gen. I prom-
ised Jake that I'd think of him when I got%to ' Bingen
on the Rhine,' God bless him."
" You will have plenty of time for that and get your
dinner also. But would you, just for one dinner, Jim
Eawls, would you miss seeing Stotzenfels, Oberlahn-
stein, Braubach, Rheinfels, the Lurlie, Schonberg, and
especially the brothers Sternberg and Liebenstein ? "
mm; two or a x Tourists.
"Those two last wore brothers, were they? What kin
were the balance? No, sir, 1 give up my dinner for no
plaoes with names like that." And oil" he went. He
oame up jitstas we were nearing that curious strnoture
in the middle of the river above Oaub, oalled the Pfalz."
"In the name of oommon sense, what Is that oon-
founded thing?"
M li was built," this pamphlet says, "several hundred
years ago lor (he purpose of having a, convenient place
for oolleoting tribute from passing vessels; but read
that."
"In L194, the BmperOr Henry VI wished to marry
the daughter of Count Palatine Conrad to one of his
friends, but, the young princess had already gained the
alfecfions of Henry o[' Brunswick. The father, dread-
ing the emperor's \\ rail), would not consent to flu1 alli-
ance, but caused a tower to be built in the middle of
the river below Baoharaoh, where he kept his prisoner.
Her mother, however, secretly aided the Prinoeof Bruns-
wick in gaining admittance to the tower, where his
union with the princess was privately solemnized.
When the princess was about to give birth to a child,
her mother disclosed the affair to her husband, who,
Qnding his opposition no longer availing, capriciously
passed a law that all future Countesses Palatine should
repair to the castle to await their aeeoueheinenfs. Such
is the anci^if and improbable tradition connected with
the Pfalz, whence it also derives its name."
"No telling what young folks won't do, nor where
they Won't v^o when they take a notion to marry. Where
did the old man live?"
"Just beyond the bend yonder, to the right, at Stah-
lek, the old castle."
TWO OltA V TOtMtlSTS. 107
"All come from meddling with young people's matches.
My notion is, if you can't persuade 'em you need'nt try
to drive 'em. We arc getting into the great wine region,
I heard at dinner."
" Yes. Just behind Stahlek yonder is Bacharach,
celebrated for its wine."
Passing, in succession, Furstenberg, Heinberg, Fal-
kenberg, Rheinstein and Ehrenfels, we reached Bingcn.
"Is that another Piffals?" asked Jim, pointing at the
Meurth Thurm in the middle of the river near the
landing.
"Another what?"
" Piffals. Was'nt that what you called that concern
back yonder where the young woman got married to
that fellow unbeknownst ? "
"Pfalz."
" I don't see much difference, and I bet you don't call
it right. Is this another one ? "
" No, that's the Mouse Tower, so called from a legend
that, in former times, a very despotic archbishop was
devoured there by mice. It was used, at one time, as
the Pfalz, for collecting toll. Now it is a sort of light-
house. You see how narrow the river is here? Rush-
ing down those high mountains, it forms this, what is
called the Bingerloch, over which it is dangerous for
two boats to pass each other. The watchman who occu-
pies it signals to any boats that may be meeting, so that
they may avoid collision."
"That's sensible. A pretty town. It will do old
Jake good to know I've seen it. Poor little fellow!
There's another river coming in just above yonder."
" It is the Nahe ; the old ruin is the Klopp, built by
Drusus."
37*
108 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
" Of the same set that you put me to sleep with last
night ? "
" The same. He was the son of Livia, wife of Augus-
tus and her first husband, Tiberius Nero. Augustus
fell in love with her, and divorcing his own wife, Scri-
bonia, took Livia away from her husband three months
before her third son was born, and married her."
"What! Take a fellow's wife when she's borne him
two children and pretty nearly three ? No wonder that
old empire broke down. Things can't last when God
Almighty's laws are run over in that style."
Near Eudesheim, the" river suddenly turned towards
the north, and we were now at the beginning of the Rhine-
gau, the great wine region of the Rhine. Here I handed
Jim another legend to read, that of Bromserberg, once
the property of the old knights of Eudesheim. It ran
thus :
" One of these knights who had distinguished himself
by destroying a dragon in the Holy Land, and had
escaped out of the hands of the Saracens, vowed that if
he ever returned to Eudesheim he would dedicate his
only daughter, Grisela, to the Church. The latter, during
her father's absence, had formed an attachment to a
young knight of a neighboring castle, and heard with
dismay her father's fatal vow. The old Crusader was
inexorable, and Grisela, in a fit of despair, threw her-
self from the tower into the Rhine. According to pop-
ular belief, her form still hovers about the ruined tower,
and her lamentations are heard mingling with the roar-
ings of the wind."
" It appears," was Jim's comment, " that the females
in this region of country had bad luck in their love
affairs ; some of 'em getting to be nuns under a mistake,
TWO GRAY TOITRISTS. 199
some made so against their wills, and some shut up in a
box in the river to keep 'em from marrying according to
their own choice. That last one had better married
unbeknownst, like the other, rather than kill herself
But I suppose she could'nt get out. Meddling again.
The old man thought he would do a great thing for the
Church by devoting his daughter instead of himself.
That is a business that ain't stopped yet. Plenty of
people nowadays who think if they can make other people
do right, they need'nt take any great pains with their
own conduct. A great mistake, but a mighty common
one."
The night closed in upon us after passing the Castle
of Johannesberg, and soon we were landed at Mayence.
Jim said that he intended to dine with me, because he
felt so lonesome at the table on the boat without me that
it took away his appetite. And now we must have a
bottle of Johannesberger. We owed it to the satisfaction
of having seen the vines that made it ; we owed it to the
country generally, and we owed it to ourselves. We had
opened upon the great Eheingau with the Rudesheimer,
we would now have a Johannesberger, and to-morrow
we would wind up with a Steinberger.
" People that can afford to drink such wine as this,"
he continued, when we had opened the bottle and tasted,
"ought to be a good people. Isn't, it glorious all the
way down? If I did'nt know myself, I should feel like
making a speech."
After dinner we lighted our cigars and repaired to the
smoking-room, and in spite of his pretended hostility to
old things, we talked long upon the scenes through
which we had passed during the day, and their history,
ancient and modern. Next morning after a drive to the
203 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
barracks, the cathedral, the confluence of the Rhine and
Main, the fruit market, and Gutenburg monument, we
took the road again.
"This is the cleanest-looking town I've seen yet in
Germany," said Jim, as we were passing through Darm-
stadt.
" Yes. It was of small importance until the Arch-
duke Ludwig gave it a start. The new part, built within
the last twenty or thirty years, is larger than the old.
That monument yonder was erected to his memory."
We had gone but a little way out of the town and
turned squarely to the south, when, for the first time
since we had left home, Ave saw a field of corn. The
sight did us both good.
" Oh," said Jim, " if I could only get out and walk
about in it, and feel of it, and hear the blades rustle, and
catch a June-bug or two ! How it does bring old Georgia
to me ! And, by the way, what splendid land it is for
corn and wheat along this valley. What long mountain
is that to the left?"
It was the Odenwald, and we were coursing down the
Bergstrasse (mountain-road) between the Main and the
Neckar. It was most pleasing to see the ripe wheat-
fields, the peasants reaping and harvesting the overflow-
ing crops, and to lift our eyes anon above and beyond to
the towering forest. After passing Weinheim, we di-
verged from the Odenwald, and, making a circuit by
Ladensberg and Wiedrichsfeld, returned to it at Heidel-
berg. Here we stopped for three hours. Ordering
lunch (to include, of course, trout from the Neckar),
we hired a carriage for a brief inspection. We thought
Heidelberg the prettiest of all towns of its size. At the
head of the Valley of the Neckar, snugly ensconced be-
tween the surrounding eminences, the continuous green
TWO OR AY TOURISTS. 201
shades along its one prominent street impart a sweet
coolness which the son seems never to subdue. Passing
by the university buildings in the Ludwig Platz, we first
ascended to the Mulchencur, and returning, drove to the
castle on the eminence opposite. Our time was too brief
to allow us to view any but a comparatively small part
of this, the hugest and grandest of all the ruins of Ger-
many. In vain had many an army of besiegers attempted
to destroy it. No wonder it was so long and so arduous
to break down the power of the feudal lords, when they
could hide themselves within walls that even gunpowder
could only partially dislodge. As we drove by the uni-
versity buildings again upon our return (which, as for
age, Jim said showed for themselves), we saw several
students walking along, some of whom were followed by
dogs of a species such as we had never seen before.
" Did anybody ever see such dogs ? " exclaimed Jim.
They seemed of the purest bull, but so extremely
diminutive as not to weigh, I should say, over eight or
ten pounds. Jim enquired about them of our host at
the Schrieder, where we lunched.
"De shtoodens haf dem for combany in de valk, and
dey make dem fight much. Yah ? Day fight shtrong,
dem leetle dog."
Our lunch was served in a veranda, in the rear of
the hotel. Jim pronounced the trout delicious, but
small, he should rather say, small but delicious. It
would'nt do to bring out our bottle of Steinberger at
the board of so polite a host. So we took one of his
Hubberger.
"Well," said Jim, after we were on the move again,
and we had fired up, " it's a beautiful little town. I
notice, as we get down south, that they pay more atten-
tion to shade than we do. I'm glad we stopped here.
202 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
A beautiful little town. I say little, and it can't grow
much bigger, hemmed in, as it is, between the river and
these mountains. They jammed it in a snug little place,
and I don't wonder it's always been so hard to take.
That old castle is big enough though to make up for
the town. Some of those walls are twenty feet thick
and more, so that where they've been blown down by
powder they afford a defence still. That old wine hogs-
head took me ; forty-nine thousand gallons. While they
were at it, they might have made it an even fifty. They
must have been good drinkers in those times before they
invented their lager beer. By the way, that was a capi-
tal wine we had — Humbugger, you call it ? No humbug
about that, if you'll allow a bit of a pun. You might J
for I've heard you make worse often. But, by gracious,
what did you think of those little dogs ? Don't they
beat the world ? And is'nt it a nice business for college
boys to be at, instead of their books, and trying to get
back some of the money their fathers pay out for 'em ?
Well, college boys will be college boys everywhere, I
suppose, like them at Athens and the other colleges in
Georgia. They learn how to dress fine, smoke, drink
whiskey, cuss, and be impudent to old people."
Richer and riper the crops, as, leaving the Neckar,
we travelled due South, having, on our right, the broad
plain of the Rhine, on our left, the low hills as, gradu-
ally growing higher and higher, they culminated in the
Black Forest. The villages on this dividing line between
the plain and the hills, embowered as they were in shade
and fruit trees, seemed perfect in their loveliness. At
Ettlingen, the Murgthal rose to view, the Black Forest
uplifted high, above all, the Mercuriesberg. At Oos,
our train turned suddenly to the left, and in ten minutes
we were at Baden-Baden.
CHAPTER XVI
HIS is a place for richer folks than you and
me, Phil."
We had strolled out after dinner (at the
Hotel Hollande) across the Oos, and amid the
rows of shops in the Bazaar.
"A small town, and few stores; but they look like
they had a plenty of customers with a plenty of money.
But money comes easy, and goes easy here. People that
follow gambling spend freely when they are in luck, and
I've no doubt these store-keepers know how and where-
to catch up the lucky ones. Fve heard that these Dutch
women are about as rapid gamblers as the men. When
women take a start it's hard to head 'em off."
"Dutch ? There are no Dutch here. We are in Ger-
many, man, not Holland."
"I call 'em all Dutch; they are all Dutch to me."
" The gambling is almost nothing now, compared with
what it used to be. The government has put an end to
the excesses."
Many as there were in these grounds around the
Trinclihalle and Gonversationshaus, during the after-
noon, they were few compared with the throng at night.
A band of forty musicians played from a stand, and
men, women, and children walked, and sat, and listened,
and chatted, Jim's facility in making his way led us
(3QS)
204 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
into limited conversation with an intelligent-looking
German, whose table, as he sat smoking and sipping his
beer, was next to ours. To a direct question from Jim,
if he spoke English, he smiled and answered :
"A leedle beed."
It was amusing to me to observe the efforts the two
made to render themselves mutually intelligible. Jim
adroitly complimented the German military, and hinted
that perhaps the army might be getting ready to do
for some other nation what they had lately done for the
French. From the answer he received he gathered that
his remark had not been understood.
" Vot te Oharmans vant mose now is bees."
" Bees ! " exclaimed Jim, in astonishment.
" Yahs, bees," answered the gentleman, with an argu-
mentative look.
" Why — have'nt you got any bees in this country ? I
should suppose that bees — "
I heard no more ; but asking Jim to excuse me for a
few moments, retreated, so that I might laugh without
restraint. A few minutes afterwards he came where I
was promenading near the musicians.
" Why did'nt you come back ? " he asked carelessly ;
" that was a clever fellow."
I answered that the subjects of their conversation,
especially as he was talking about one thing and the
stranger another, confused me somewhat, and I con-
cluded to take a little turn by myself.
"When he was talking osi peace and you about bees I
could'nt see how you were going to make it."
The old fellow laughed heartily.
" Yes, sir, I thought the Dutch nation at large was
about going into the bee-raising and honey-making
business."
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 205
" How did you settle it, Jim ? "
" I told him that I was surprised at what he said ;
that I thought, of course, that bees were a very good
thing in their way ; that I had a few hives myself, and
most country people had a hive or two apiece."
" Hold on, Jim, and let me lean against this tree
awhile. What did he say then ? "
" Well, sir, he looked at me for a moment as hard as
that custom-house officer yesterday ; but he saw that I
did'nt mean to be insulting, and that I was'nt scared.
And then he laughed and said: ' Oh ! you means te
peas — te leedle peas.' I told him I did not mean peas —
little peas, nor big peas. Fact, we raised them, too, in
Georgia, where I came from in any quantity, but — "
" I'm going to fall, Jim," said I, " if you don't hold
me."
" He took me up again, sir, and he said : * I not mean
peas, I means bees— bees and vor. Te Charmans not
vont vor, te Charmans vont bees? When he said vor he
frowned and doubled up his fists, and when he said bees
he looked as sweet as he could, spread out his hands and
did like he was patting a baby on the head. And then
I understood him. We laughed. I made him take a
beer with me ; but we both found talking together a
rather heavy business, and I concluded to leave."
" Did'nt you ask him to call by if he should ever come
to Georgia ? "
"No. But if he should, I should treat him like a
gentleman, and show him my bee-hives."
We were entertained by a little book which I pur-
chased in the Bazaar, entitled "Legendes de Baden"
Jim was especially impressed by the legend of the mi-
raculous intervention of the Blessed Virgin in deliver-
18
206 TWO GEAY TOURISTS.
ing, many centuries ago, her convent of Lichtenstein,
situate a little more than a mile out of town, from the
soldiers of a fierce invading army when the abbess and
her nuns had fled from it and besought her protection.
The next morning we took the early train for Basle,
intending to deflect from our route at Appenweir and
make an hour's visit to the Cathedral of Strassburg. Jim
said he did not care so much about the old church, but
he wanted to see the clock.
"That steeple beats anything we've seen yet," said he,
as we slowly went up amid the throng of visitors.
" That at Cologne, when finished, will be higher. With
that exception, it is the loftiest in the world. Will you
go up it ? "
" Not if I know myself. It's bound to fall some time,
and it might take a notion to-day just as I got at the top,
then good-bye Emily."
Grand as this structure is, it was less imposing than
that at Cologne. Jim thought that they must have run
mainly on their steeple, and that that broke them*
Nothing interested him so much as the clock. How he
did try to peer into it. We could not wait for the noon-
striking, and had to be satisfied with the slip-shod old
gentleman who came in at half-past eleven. As we
strolled along, remarking upon the different architect-
ures of eight hundred years, one of the servitors advanced
towards us, and raising his finger, intimated silence. A
moment afterwards we were at the opening of one of the
chapels where Mass was being said before a congregation
of about three hundred worshippers. We turned away,
and the sound of the service was again beyond our hear-
ing long before we emerged into the street.
"I had no idea it was meeting-day," said Jim, when
TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 207
we were oat; "but they don't seem to have any regular
stated meeting days over here. AVhen we were at Co-
logne I got up early, you know, and walked out into the
town. Blamed if I did'nt see at least a thousand people
either going in or coming out of the churches. I doubt
if they keep any almanacs in this town ; because, you
know, that old clock tells every blessed thing about the
sun, moon, and stars, and I suppose these people go by
her, and don't want any almanacs. I wonder how often
they wind her up ? Curious country. Going to meeting
weeky days and before breakfast as well as other times.
Let's move on."
Back to Appenweir. If our tickets had allowed, we
would have preferred the direct route to Basle, in order
to have a better view of the Yosges, and the mediasval
remains on their slopes. As it was, we could only view
them in the distance, while the Black Forest was better
presented than in the direct line. The valleys are ex-
quisitely beautiful. Busy were the laborers and their
teams; most of the former were females. In a field
where a dozen or fifteen might be harvesting, about
three would be men — one with the team, and two with
scythes, the rest women and girls. Behind each of the
reapers a woman followed with a reap-hook to cut what
stocks had been left.
" They make clean work of it, you see, Phil, and don't
leave much pickings for the hogs. Now isn't it a shame
for that sort of work to be done mostly by women ? The
men, what are not at trades, are in the army. They may
talk what they please about bees, as they call it, but I
tell you they mean war when the men are drilling and
the women gathering the crops. Still, a woman will be
a woman, in the wheat patch or ball-room. Look at
208 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
those blue and pink jackets, and notice how stylish they
set those straw hats on their heads."
Thus he rattled on during that sweet afternoon, often
leaning his head out of the window, bowing and waving
his hat, and halloing to the laborers, who sometimes
gaily responded to his salutations.
We were at Les Trois Rois, in Basle, and were sitting
at our chamber window looking down upon the rapidly
rolling Rhine, from which, though after several diver-
gences, we had not yet separated.
"Consule Planco ! " said I.
" Certainly," said Jim.
(Non ego hoc ferrem, calidus juventa,
Consule Planco.'
"You and I read that together in Horace under old
man Hodge, Jim."
"Did we? The old man tried to put Horace and
Caesar into me with a hickory, but they could'nt stick.
Was he ever along here ? not old Hodge, but — that other
fellow?"
"Yes. Munatius Plancus founded this town. Eather
it has supplanted another further up the river that was
founded by him who was consul when Horace was a boy.
When the Roman army mutinied under Germanicus,
who had married Agrippina — "
"That same female you told about at Cologne?"
"No; but her mother, and a most excellent woman
and devoted wife. Mother and daughter could not have
been more widely different. The wife of Germanicus
accompanied him in his wars, and when he was mur-
dered by Piso, at the instance of Tiberius the Emperor,
she charged the murderer with his crime openly at
Rome, whereupon he stabbed himself,"
TWO GRAY TOUEISTS. 209
"Good-bye for Mm. What became of the widow?
Married again, I suppose. Marrying seemed to run in
that family."
" No ; being left with nine children, she — "
" Oh, dear ! Not much chance to marry again with
all that gang, without she could find a fellow like our
same Bob Minton. But go on."
" No, sir ; not another word."
"Go on, Phil; it's perfectly thrilling what you were
saying, only I happened to think of Bob when you were
talking about the nine children. Go ahead."
"Not I. You may substitute Bob Minton for the
widow of Germanicus. What of Bob ? You've put out
the Caesars for to-night, so bring in Bob."
" Bob tells it," he went on, after a hearty laugh, " that
when he was a boy about fourteen years old he fell ter-
ribly in love, heels over head. He loved so hard that he
began to get sickly, and his father got uneasy about him
and gave him tansy bitters and vinegar-and-nails. But
the old man found out somehow what was the matter
with him, and that the one he was in love with was a
widow that had nine children and weighed three hun-
dred pounds. And then what do you think he did ?
Why, sir, he took Bob into the woods, and cutting an
armful of hickories he gave him three hundred lashes,
one lick for every pound of the widow."
"It cured him?"
"Yes, sir. Bob says that from loving he got to hate
her, and he hated her as long as she lived. He always
said that the best way to cure people who were foolishly
in love was to give 'em the hickory. Now what about
the widow Germanicus ? "
" No more of her to-night. I refer you to the classical
dictionary." 13*
210 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
After breakfast next day we left for Lucerne.
" Small but active for their size," Jim remarked, as
we passed along by the rushing streams, on our way up
the Bernese Oberland. In four hours we were at the
SchweizerJiof in Lucerne. In the afternoon we drove
into the country overshadowed by Mt. Pilatus. Jim
noticed with pleasure the luxuriant grass which takes
its name from the town.
" I see," said he, " how it comes to have such a long
root. The ground is so poor and hilly that it has to
reach down deep in order to hold on in the first place,
and then to get something to feed on besides this gravel.
What in the world is that cross doing here ? "
We alighted in order to inspect a small, wooden cross,
the first we had seen of its kind, henceforth so numerous
in this portion of Switzerland. In the wood a place had
been hollowed in which, covered with glass, was a rude
picture of the Blessed Virgin. Jim was touched most
tenderly by this witness of the piety and faith of one
who had erected this simple memorial for a credited
deliverance, through her agency, from some calamity.
" It's a mighty comforting thing, I suppose, for them
that can believe it," he said.
In the afternoon we went to see, on a rock by the
brooklet's side, Thorwaldsen's Lion of Lucerne, A
wonderful work of genius. The courage and grief ex-
hibited in the fall of the noble beast, in whose side
clings the broken spear, and the fidelity with which bis
huge paw covers the Lily of France were touching to
contemplate. A brave people ! Whether contesting for
hereditary rights on their own soil, or in the cause of
other peoples. No braver death was ever met by soldiers,
not even the Lacedaemonians at Thermopylae, than when
two &ray Tourists. 211
the Swiss Guards fell that fatal day on the threshold of
the Tuilleries.
"It's about the only chance they have of showing
their pluck," said Jim. " They can't get out to fight
other people, and other people can't get in to fight them.
These mountains and lakes, and these rivers that run
like race-horses, stop such as that. Yet, they've got to
make a living in some sort of fashion besides tending
what little level land they've got, and so they hire them-
selves to fight other people's battles. It's a way of living
that would'nt suit me."
It was delicious to sit, in the cool evening, in the
piazza of this elegant hotel, look down the clear lake,
and breathe the sweet air coming up from its bosom.
Next morning we took an excursion upon it, leaving the
boat at Vitznau for the ascent of the Ehigi. We took
the least romantic but most comfortable and expeditious
route — that by the railway. Jim was intensely interested
in this enterprise, and, in what time we had, closely ex-
amined the locomotive, which, with its cog wheel under-
neath, revolving on the cross-teeth between the rails,
drew, or rather pushed, the small car up the mountain.
The morning was fair, and we could get all of this mag-
nificent view. Once a little cloud gathered, and we
could see the rain below, while the sun shone brightly
above. As we stood upon the summit, mountains with-
out number rose to the right, while in front, seeming
white as silver, lay the cities and lakes of Zurich and Zug.
After another night in this delightful town, we took
the steamer at the Schiveizerhof quay. Passing down
the Cruciform Lake, on reaching the west arm we turned
into it, and disembarking at Alpnach, took our places
in the diligence for Brienz. Slowly we ascended through
2V2 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
Sarnen and along its lake to Gisneyle, halting a little at
the relays of horses, to look into the small side way booths,
and make our little purchases of woodware. More slowly
yet up the Kaiserstnhl to the town and Lake of Lungern.
And now for the ascent of the Brunig Pass. Out of
pity for the laboring horses, we alighted from the car-
riage andwalked ahead the greater part of the way.
Jim said he had seen some hills and heard of some others,
but that this oversized all his experience and informa-
tion. Such talk was between breaths, as we struggled
on, occasionally shying the rapidly descending vehicles.
The descent was delightful. The road, cut out of the
side of the mountain, winding along a precipice defended
from the abysses to our left only by a low stone fence,
added, from the spice of the danger, to Jim's enjoyment.
Our seats were on either side of the coachman. I could
but shudder sometimes as we trotted along the ever-
winding, rapidly descending way, when we would pass
a point where, over the narrow parapet a yard's distance
from the wheels, I looked down into the awful depths.
With my right hand I would grasp Jim's left arm when-
ever, on the slightest depression on my side, I almost
felt as if we must go over. He would smile, give the
coachman a wink, when the latter would flourish his
long whip and give it a crack that sounded like a pistol
over the horses.
" Oh, yes," said he, " got into trouble and you want
me. Care nothing about me when no danger. Danger
come, and it's Jim Rawls. Hold on, you need'nt blue up
my arm ; but hold on. I've brought you safe so far, and
I'll try to put you through. Gracious ! what a pretty
sight," he exclaimed, as the road brought us to a point
where we could look down upon the village of Meinrin-
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 2l3
gen and the long, narrow, fertile valley, with its crops
of grain, which, though near the end of July, were just
fading from green to yellow.
We could not linger at Brienz to inspect its wonderful
wood-carving works; hut, entering a little steamer, we
sailed (passing with reluctance the Giesbach) the full
length of the lake, and before sunset were at the Hotel
Belvedere in Interlachen.
CHAPTER XVII.
NOVEL sight it was — a small village, with
five or six large first-class hotels, besides nu-
merous boarding houses— pensions, as they are
called. We sat in the veranda of the Belvedere,
where a breeze from that direction would have brought
to us the spray from the fountain in front that sent its
thin jet high into the air, while vases of flowers and
shrubbery were sitting in veranda, hall, and court, and
even on the steps of the stairs. Before us, seeming only
a few hundred paces through the mountain gorge, we
could see the ever-white tops of Alpine peaks. Of all
places for tired travellers, this must be the sweetest.
Without, the scene shone as we had never seen. Within,
the fresh, sharp air invigorated and exhilarated. Jim
said it was a pity to have to go so far from home to find
such sights and such enjoyments. Here, as elsewhere,
he made friends with the English-speaking servants. It
did his heart good, he said, after walking about the
streets and hearing so much outlandish talk to get back
and let himself loose in good old Georgia-talk with
somebody else besides me ; because, as for us, he said, we
had about talked out all we knew.
Of the many excursions to be taken from this central
place, we had to be content with one. Early on the
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TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 215
morrow we were in a doable-horse barouche on the way
to Lauterbrunnen.
"Don't she get over ground, and ain't she ashy?"
said Jim, as we drove along the margin of the Leits-
chein, almost continually crossing and recrossing it.
" This river, Phil, and one on the other side, have made
this town of Interlachen. You see, I've been studying
up a little geography, too. This empties the dirt on this
side, and the other, the Lombach, on the other, and the
deposits have divided what was one lake into two — the
one we came down yesterday, and that we are to go on
to-morrow."
"Tantum aevi longinqua valet mutare vetustas ; as
Helenus said to Ameas about Scylla and Charybdis."
" Oh, hush ! as the alligator said to the bull-frog."
"I'll do it."
Far above us we could see the goats as they felt their
way cautiously along the steep acclivities, and cropped
the thin verdure. Arriving at Lauterbrunnen, the
horses were unhooked and saddled. Jim, avowing his
recognition of the maxim, age before beauty and merit,
selected the one he considered the best, made me mount
him, mounted the other himself, and we began the ascent
of the Wendernalp.
" Where's your horse, my friend ? " asked he of the
coachman, our guide, who could not speak a word of
English. "There's nothing like trying 'em anyhow,
Phil. I generally make 'em understand me before I get
through."
The man smiled, pointed to his feet, and led the way.
On and on, up the weary ascent, sometimes wooded,
then pasture land, then sudden acclivity. We halted
occasionally at a little chalet to dismount and give rest
216 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
to ourselves and the toiling beasts ; at other times paus-
ing to listen to the peasants, as, in expectation of a few
sous, they sang their country's airs or sounded the Al-
pine horn. I can never forget the first impression made
upon me by this instrument. The peasant had taken
his position beneath a lofty and rugged series of cliffs
projecting irregularly from the side of the mountain.
The echoes ascending, grew fainter and sadder, repeat-
ing from eminence to eminence until dying away in
whispers among the far heights. I have never heard,
sounds so solemn. One could imagine them to be sigh-
ings of the ghosts of the giants of olden times.
When we had been about a couple of hours on the
ascent, I, who was ahead, heard Jim break out into a
laugh and say : " You've given out, old fellow, have you ?
Look behind you, Phil." I turned and saw the coach-
man, as, having taken my horse by the tail, he suffered
himself to be pulled up the mountain.
"Look behind yourself," I answered, turning; and
there, similarly hanging to his horse, was a Swiss girl,
who on her left arm was carrying a basket of things she
had purchased at the village for the Hotel de Jung f ran,
on the summit.
" Good gracious me alive ! " he exclaimed, and, imme-
diately dismounting, said :
"My dear madam, or, most probably, miss, I can't
stand that. This is a man's saddle, but I can fix it for
you. Don't say a word," he continued, as she and the
guide looked wonderingly at his motions. He drew the
right stirrup and leather over, and was proceeding to
shorten the left when the girl, with a merry laugh, darted
on ahead. The guide roared, and then broke forth with
a mountain song.
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 217
" I saved my manners, anyhow," said Jim. " 1 was'nt
brought up to ride horses when women had to get along
by hanging to their tails."
About noon we reached the summit, when we dis-
mounted for dinner and an hour's rest at the hotel.
There, in full view, and apparently not further off than
a rifle shot, though actually more than a mile, stood the
Jungfrau — the Young Bride, seeming whiter in her
nuptial array than all her maidens, and towering above
them like Diana in the midst of her choir. It was un-
speakably beautiful. The sun was terribly bright;, so
much so that we had to wear our blue-glass spectacles,
with which we had been warned to provide ourselves.
As we gazed, suddenly we saw what seemed a narrow
drift of snow gliding rapidly down a narrow gorge. A
few seconds afterwards, a roar, as of a hundred cannon,
and we could scarcely believe the sound to come from
what we saw, and that it was an avalanche of thousands
of tons. Jim recognized in one of the waitresses the
girl whom he had tried to serve. She had evidently told
the landlady, for they both smiled graciously whenever
their eyes rested on him as he ate. He called for another
half bottle of wine and two extra glasses. The women
looked curiously at him as he filled them. He passed
one of them to the mistress, a very stout, fair woman,
and the other he handed to the girl.
" You see, ladies, I never was raised, as I said to my old
friend here, to ride a horse, especially on a bad road,
and see women taking it afoot. You understand ? I
nix (not, you know) rides, when a woman, — got — no —
sheval, (horse, you understand.) Here's to us four, and
all the pretty Swiss women and girls."
There were half dozen other guests at the table, and
19
218 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
all shouted with laughter. The woman drank her glass
readily; the girl took hers, blushed, and looked at her
mistress, who signified her wish for her to join in the
toast. She did so amidst much tittering and pretended
reluctance. As we mounted our horses before the door,
Jim, looking towards the Jungfrau, asked the hostess if
she could 'nt get up just one more avalanche for a couple
of old fellows who could never expect to be back there
an)' more. She shook her head laughingly.
"Nix?" said he. "Well, good-bye," and with adieu
on both sides we commenced the descent.
" Did ?nt you see they understood me ? If you'll put
the English to 'em slow and distinct as I do, you don't
want but a fewr of their words to make 'em understand
you. I have'nt got but two of 'em yet, nix and slieval,
and you see what I made out of them. Give me about
two dozen of 'em, and I can go through the whole
country by myself. Of course, I should count on be-
having myself like everybody, specially when they're
away from home, ought to be expected to do. Well,
she's a nice woman and keeps a good hotel away up here
in the clouds."
As we descended, we encountered other peasants on
the margin of the path who sang for our entertainment.
Once, while we were walking along (for the way had
now become so precipitous that this was less fatiguing
then riding), Ave saw ahead of us two children, hatless
and shoeless, a boy and a girl, neither of whom could
have been more than six years old. They stood erect
and still, side by side just out of the path, with their
earnest little faces turned towards us as we neared them.
"Why what upon the creation of the earth," said Jim,
"are those little chaps doing away up here by them-
selves ? Hello little folks, where's your ma ? "
TWO GKAY TOUKISTS. 219
Immediately they began to sing, the girl first, and
the boy second soprano. A plaintive little song it was,
and the sweetest my ears had ever listened to. My dear
old Jim first stopped in amazement. He then walked
on to where the singers were standing, and after look-
ing at them for a few moments, sat down upon the green
bank, took out his pocket handkerchief, and wept and
sobbed. My eyes filled in sympathy. The guide, pleased
with our appreciation, allowed us to wait for them to
repeat their song. Jim rose, when it was over, and laid
his hands softly on their bare heads.
"God Almighty bless you my children! I never
heard such music before. If I had'nt seen you, I'd
have thought it was angels. You don't know how much
good you've done me. I know you are good children.
You could'nt sing that way, and make me cry so if you
were'nt. I bid you good-bye now. Keep on being good,
and always mind what your ma tells you, and don't get
bad as you grow big. Take this, and buy yourselves a
hat and bonnet, and a pair of shoes apiece. I wish I
could afford to give you more."
He filled their hands with coins, and for the first
time since we had left home, made me add to what I
had given at first.
"Give to 'em freely, Phil. You're never going to
lose by what you give to such as them.''
The children looked almost frightened by the dosses
sion of so much money.
" Good-bye now, and remember what 1 told you, and
especially mind what your ma tells you. I never felt
in all my life-time, Phil, as I did then," he continued
after we had parted from them " I did'nt want to try
even, to keep from crying. I don't know what their
220 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
little song was about; but I tell you that it sounded
to me, away up here, as if it was two angels singing
the praise of God."
He would not even listen to either of the two other
bands of larger singers that we afterwards encountered,
but, throwing pieces of money to them, hastened his
gait, saying:
"No, my friends, T don't care about any more music
to-day. I don't want that I heard further up the hill
put out of my mind."
We reached the foot of the mountain at the village of
Grindenwald, where we found our barouche that a friend
of the guide had brought around the mountain. " The
idea of charging for ice here," said Jim, as, while the
horses were being put to the carriage, we were refresh-
ing ourselves at a hotel with a bottle of champagne.
"Why there's the ice growing in three hundred yards
of the house, and more plentiful than food for their
cattle."'
It did seem strange, for the glaciers extended almost
to within the village. As we drove rapidly out, we met
the goats coming in from the mountains, the udders of
many of them almost touching the ground. On the way
back, we halted a few moments at a bridge of the
Lutchen, and for a franc obtained a view of a couple of
chamois which were kept on exhibition to tourists in a
small covered pen.
"Ah, well," said Jim, looking at the doe. You've
got the finest pair of eyes I ever saw except one. Its
curious, Phil, that this little deer or goat — whatever it
is ; should so forcibly remind me of Emily. But do
you know, sir? It was at old man Sereno Taylor's
examination, the first time I saw her, and immediately
TWO GEAY TOUJRISTS. 221
fell head and ears in love with her. She came out and
sung that song. Somehow, it come down on me perpen-
dicular, like a gate-post, as Mose Grice used to say, and
then he broke forth with —
Oh, the wild chamois track at the breaking of day.
The frightened doe ran into a corner of the pen, and
her fawn crouched beneath her.
" They don't seem to be very fond of music," said
Jim.
" Maybe they object to the kind."
" Very probable, but its the best they can get from
this crowd. Don't be scared, you little beauty, I could'nt
hurt anything that had eyes like them. Good-bye to
you, and your baby."
" Were you ever much addicted to singing, Jim ? "
" None to hurt. But Emily used to say I had a very
good voice. How did you like the stave I just now
tried?"
" You saw some of its effects."
We dashed along the smooth, ever-winding road, the
horses, whether stimulated by Jim's merriment or anx-
ious to reach their stalls, pulling hard at their bits.
The night came on, and we began to see bright lights
high up among the mountains. It was the vigil of one
of the saints, and the peasants were paying honor to the
coming morrow.
"A more religious people, Phil, these than our people,
or the English. What they believe, they believe with-
out any doubt, and try to practice it ; and when they
don't, they blame nobody but themselves. I did'nt think
it was so, but it is."
An hour after dark we arrived in the village. As we
19*
222 TWO GEAY TOUEISTS.
dashed through the streets, the coachman warned, by
the continued cracking of his whip, the foot passengers
to get out of the way. After tea we strolled for a short
time on the Cursaal, listened to the band, then went
early to bed. Next morning Jim declared that he had
never had a sweeter night's rest, not even in his own bed
at home. Those little children, singing away up there
on the mountain, kept him awake awhile, and afterwards
he went to sleep, feeling as sure as if he had been there
to see, that his wife and children were safe in the protec-
tion of the Almighty.
Leaving this sweet village, we took the short railroad
with its double-decker car over the narrow peninsular,
and embarked on the steamer Beatus at the southeastern
extremity of Lake Thun.
"An outlandish name for a boat — Beahis."
"It is from the St. Beatns, who dwelt in the cave
yonder on the side of the lake."
" What did he live there for ? Why not in a house
like other folks?"
" Because he desired to devote his life exclusively to
religion."
" Oould'nt he do that without going to live in a hole
in the ground ? "
"At least he thought he could not, except by remov-
ing himself entirely from mankind. Many hundreds in
the annals of the Church have done the same."
"How did he manage to live there? It must have
been a tolerably economical establishment?"
"His drink was the water of the lake, and his bread
the fruits and the herbs that he could find near by, be-
sides what the people around, who knew of his where-
abouts and character, would bring to him."
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 226
" Tell me, Phil, why so many towns in this country
are called by the names of saints ? "
"The towns so named sprang from the various saints
who, like Peatus, retired from the society of mankind
and fixed their habitations in the forests or in the
marshes. The reputation of their sanctity, their chari-
ties and the wonderful things they did drew multitudes
from far, and these settling there, the towns which grew
up they named after them."
"Their charities! I thought they were poor, and
lived on water and blackberries. I don't see how they
could do anything at charity, when they had no smoke-
house and nothing to put in it if they had."
"A man need not have full barns and store-houses
to be charitable. These monks managed very well.
Among other ways, was this : the rich who were pious
sent them the means to be dispensed to the poor. Then
they taught the latter how to till the land and enrich
it. The very richest tracts of country in France to-day,
are those which lie near where the old monasteries
stood, six and eight hundred years ago. You know,
Jim, from your own observation, and your own experi-
ence, that when a man really wants to be charitable,
somehow the means for his purpose come to him."
"Fact. The Bible says that whoever gives to the
poor, lends to God, and He will pay at usurious interest,
or words to that effect. But see yonder ; would a fellow
ever wish to find a sweeter place to live at than that ? "
We were at the end of the little lake. The spot was
most beautiful ; on the narrow tongue of land, an exquis-
ite chateau, surrounded by flowers and shrubbery, stood
almost immediately on the banks, from whose veranda
was a full view of the green waters and the mountains.
224 TWO GEAY TOUKISTS.
We at once took the train. Halting at Berne only for
the purpose of dining at the station restaurant, we
travelled along through Fribourg and Lausanne, reached
Geneva at night-fall, and stopped at the Hotel cle UEcu.
Our chamber was on the third floor, immediately over
the Ehone where it rushes out of Lake Leman. As we
sat there at night, looking out of the window upon the
rapid waters and the numerous laundry-houses in their
midst, we had some talk on the subject of the classics.
"Jim," said Iy "you did'nt seem very fresh about the
Munatius Plancus of Horace ; but you need not tell me
that you've forgotten what Caesar says about Geneva
and the Rhone."
" Goodness ! where I got one whipping about Horace,
I got three about Caesar. What was all that about old
Orgetorix, and Dumnorix, and Diviticus ? "
" Divitiacus, you mean ? "
"Divy — something, and those old Allobroges, and
Tulingians and Bellovaccians, and all those old fellows ?
We've come up with 'em at last, have we ? Old man
Hodge never could poke 'em into my head. I never
could get 'em right and find out which was which. I
knew some of 'em wanted to cross over somewhere, and
that the rest of 'em were against it, and they were
about a year disputing about it, and blamed if I ever
found out whether they got over or not, or who wanted to
go and who did'nt, or where they wanted to go away
from and where to; only I remember there was a sight
of rivers, and lakes, and mountains in the way, which it
is very plain now to see was a fact. But I know that
Csesar astonished everybody by building a bridge in a
mighty quick time over or.e of 'em; and if I was to
live a hundred years I should'nt forget the whipping I
TWO GKA.Y TOURISTS. 225
got about that. Ah ! that was a bridge, Phil, as was a
bridge. None of your pontoons. But /could'nt cross
it by myself. I should have stayed over on this side if old
man Hodge had let me. But that old fellow killed him-
self, did'nt he ? Old Orgetorix, I mean."
" So it was supposed. You remember, Nee abest sus-
picio, ut Helvetii arbitrantur, quin ipse sibi mortem con-
seiverit"
" Just about that, if I don't disremember. Consider-
ing how I was handled by old man Hodge all along in
there, it seemed to me that I was to be made responsible
for putting the fellow up to it, and would be made to
follow him on —
Into the dark and silent grave,
"Where there's nothing else to crave.
That's from the Ohoopie poet. And this is my same old
Geneva, is it ? "
"It is. That bridge yonder over which we drove this
afternoon in the omnibus, stands about where the Hel-
vetians tried first to cross over to the Allobroges. Over
there is Jura, that altissimus mons, which you surely
have not forgotten ? "
"Forget him! Some things I might forget, Phile-
mon, but him, never. I rather think I liked him better
than the rest of 'era. He did'nt have to be crossed by
any bridge, you know. You might sorter get around
him. Oh, yes, he was a right clever old fellow, was old
Jury. I — I remember him, Philip."
" Oh, Jim Bawls, Jim Eawls ! "
Coming from anybody else but him. I might have been
somewhat annoyed by such ignoring of the suggestions
which the visitations to these classic grounds raised in
226 TWO Gil AY TOURISTS.
my mind. Quotations from the Be Bello Oallico of
Caesar were constantly rising to my lips, and I could
but think it was most opportune to give them utterance.
But my old friend insisted — to use his own phrase — that
he could'nt stand it; and so I held them back, except
the few that would break out of their own motion. Yet
I must admit that for my disappointment in this behalf,
he compensated many fold in all other respects.
CHAPTER XVIII.
'LL bet you a cigar," said Jim, next morning,
as we started on a sail up the lake, " that you
don't know why this steamer is named Bonni-
vard?"
" Bonnivard ? Bonnivard ? I ought to know, but I've
forgotten."
" Oh, yes, you ought to know and don't. Well, sir,
that's the Prisoner of Chillon. Know how I found out ?"
" From your reading up, of course."
"I did'nt. That old gray-headed Englishman told
me so just now. You see, my information costs less than
yours. We can't go to the castle to-day ; but we can see
with our glasses about where it is, as we cross over from
Evian to Lausanne."
A pleasant sail, with Ferney to our left not far off, and
on the banks the Rothschild's palace, the chateaus of Sir
Robert Peel and the Empress Josephine, and the towns
of Nyon and Rosse, with the fair Pays de Vaud, and to
our right Yvoire, Thonon, Evian, the rugged Savoy,
and the Canton Chablais.
" See what a difference, Phil, a little body of water
makes between the people who live on opposite sides. Over
to the left, they are agricultural and easy-going in their
motions. That is a rich country, with its wine and
small grain. To the right, they live mostly by lumber
(227)
228 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
business. See that barge of logs yonder ; that has just
come out of the mouth of the river Dranse, by which
they were floated into the lake. They were cut last fall.
They are a harder- working people over on this side* But
don't they know something about making their towns
comfortable ? Just look at those women and children
yonder sitting along the quay under the chestnut trees."
This last remark was made just as we were approach-
ing the village of Evian. Women of all conditions were
sitting upon benches beneath the trees, which, almost to
the water's edge, lined the semicircular quay — some with
their sewing and knitting, some reading, others chatting,
while the children ran or were drawn by their nurses in
carriages in the shade. As we passed across from this
village to Ouchy, the port of Lausanne, we raised our
glasses and looked towards the head of the lake and
called to mind how Byron, in the little village before us,
where he was detained by foul weather, had immortal-
ized one of the prisoners in that gloomy castle. What
anguish has been suffered behind those stones! Bur-
gundians and Savoyards, not to mention the massacre, at
one time, of those twelve hundred Israelites who had
been so madly charged with the design to poison all the
fountains of Europe. We lingered at Ouchy only long
enough to meet the downward bound steamer, WinJcel-
ried. Of the individual objects seen in this excursion,
Jim was most interested in the chateau of Josephine.
"A big man! A mighty big man. But that was
where Napoleon made his grand mistake. He was so
big that he thought he could get around God Almighty's
laws and put away his wife. That's what He don't allow.
What He has joined together man better not put asunder.
What surprises me, is that anybody should ever want to
try it."
TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 229
" Every man has not an Emily Todd, yon know, Jim."
" Yon are right there certain, old man ; but my opinion
is, that any man and woman can get along together if
they'll both start right and keep on right."
"There was no special domestic unhappiness with
Napoleon and Josephine."
" No ; and that made it the meaner and less to God
Almighty's liking. And yon see right there was where
He raised His ringer. There ain't any telling where
Nap would have gone but for that. But he never saw
the finger, you know, and so the ground gave way
before him on a sudden, and he went on down hill until
he got to the bottom. She lived on and on until he was
down, and then she died. She was a true lady, Jose-
phine was. She never made any fuss about it. She let
him have his way. She knew, though, who was on her
side, and that it would win some time or another, and in
some way or another."
In the evening we rode about the town, and later
strolled along the gardens and the quay. Once, when
we were on the bridge, we met a man who was intoxi-
cated. It was the only instance of the kind we saw
south of the Channel. Jim remarked how curious it was
that we had not seen but this case in a country where
people, rich and poor, never sit down to eat without
drinking. I replied that there was a nut for the liquor-
prohibitionists of our country to crack. It did cer-
tainly seem that where wine was used as food, there
was little intoxication, and that better than legislation
in non- wine -growing countries would be the abundant
planting of the grape.
" I have come to believe it," replied Jim. " People
will drink. They may join temperance societies and hold
20
230 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
off for a time, but they'll break over after a while, giving
as excuse that their president got drunk first, or their
treasurer stole their money and run away, or something
else, and then they'll make up for lost time. I've seen
often, Phil, that the very fact of taking a pledge made
people want whiskey worse than before. And then some-
times, all of a sudden, some of 'em go to getting sickly —
have a bad cold or a bronchial affection (that's the biggest
and longest- lasting disease), and then they have to take
a little for medicine, and so here they go. My notion is,
better leave such things with everybody himself. Let
him male a man of himself if it's in him, and if it ain't,
let him be a beast, and be treated as one, and not punish
the one that sold the liquor. The law in our country
seems to be always after the wrong fellow. It's after the
whiskey seller, when it ought to be after the whiskey
drinker."
After some discussion, we concluded to give three
days of the time we had set apart for Paris to an excur-
sion to Chamouni.
Bright and early next day we were in the diligence,
Jim sitting between the coachman and one of the pro-
prietors of the line, who, or one of whose partners, we
ascertained, accompanied every travel to and fro, for the
better security of all. I took the first front seat. Soon
we had crossed the Foron, and were trotting gayly along
in Savoy. Jim was interested in the manner of hooking
up the team of five horses (the three in front abreast),
and the dexterous use of the driver's whip. He noticed,
he said, that the dullest horse at every relay was placed
in the middle, and he called my attention to how the
driver gave this particular beast occasionally a gentle
caution, as he called it. "With an execration, and with-
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 231
out a movement of any portion of his body, except his
long, slender, wiry arm, he raised his whip, described
with the long lash several curious rotary motions, and
then, as he lifted suddenly the staff high in the air, the
end of the lash flew with the rapidity of an arrow under-
neath but not touching the off-horse, and cut the flank
of the dullard, sounding as if it had penetrated deeply
into the flesh. It would be long before he would require
another "caution."
Though there was much of the picturesque in the
country through which we passed, along by Bonneville,
Cluses, Sallance, and Ouches, we had become too familiar
with such and finer views to be very much interested.
We reached Chamouni {Hotel des Alpes) in time to take,
before dark, a hurried excursion to the Glacier Bossons.
As we toiled up the ascent, Jim was amused greatly
when I would pause behind to recover my breath and
mop my face with my handkerchief.
" Living in town on books and the other luxuries don't
get a fellow up for this sort of exercise, eh, old gentle-
man ? "
He had already gotten upon good terms with the
guide, although the latter could not speak English, and
Jim's own vocabulary of foreign words was yet quite on
this side of his adequate two dozen. The guide smiled
at the raillery upon myself, though he patiently waited
until I could rest and renew the ascent. Jim would
call to him, point back over his shoulder, and say:
"Sheval. Ee want she val. Ee — not (nix) use — walk
— much. Oui ? "
"Oh, oui, monsieur," the good fellow would answer
and lead slowly on.
" Slow and distinct, Phil, you see, with a few gestures
232 TWO GBAY TOUEISTS.
flung in to help. They understand me about as well as
they do you with what French you've got."
Arrived at the point whence we were to make the pas-
sage, two boys presented themselves with what we took
to be a couple of pairs of spurs.
"What in the name of thunder are you going to do
with them. spurs, my little chaps?"
The boys looked strangely at him and interrogatively
at the guide, who informed me for what they were
intended.
" They are creepers, Jim," said I.
" Creepers ! Well, I've heard of creepers ; but these
here ain't the sort we have in Georgia. What are they
for?"
" To walk with upon the ice ; if we go to slipping
about here we may not be able to stop under half a mile."
" We live and learn. Fetch along your creepers, my
little fellows."
They buckled them on, and we sallied forth. Though,
compared with the Mer de Glace, this is an inconsider-
able glacier, yet it was wonderful to us, as we walked
carefully along and looked upward and downward upon
the strange spectacle. Soon we came to a point where
the glacier suddenly ascended somewhat, and the guide
stood before an open door cut in the ice, through which
we could see a passage lighted with lamps. "Le Grotto"
he said, and went in, we following. The passage wound
around and around, and with the strangely colored lights
became more and more dismal and sepulchral.
"Look here, old fellow," said Jim to the guide, "how
long before we get out of this concern ? "
The man smiled, continued to advance, and in three
or four minutes we emerged through another door.
TWO QUAY TOURISTS 233
On the following morning we were on the backs of
mules to ascend the Montanvert.
"No choice of nags here, Phil. A mule's a mule.
Do you call him a sheval, too? Take whichever you
fancy. That's why they use mules, you see," he went
on, when we found we were on a narrower, steeper path
than that over the Wengernalp. " Look how steady and
solid they come down with their feet."
By this time we had become quite used to foot travel-
ling by holding on to the tails of the beasts. Jim said
a Georgia mule would'nt stand that ; however, these fel-
lows, he supposed, had'nt any purchase to kick. Ar-
rived at the point of crossing the Mer de Glace, besides
the creepers, we had provided ourselves with a staff
apiece about six feet long and armed with a sharp, iron
point o for there are places on that wonderful road where
one needs three legs and the utmost caution in their
employment. The boys who had shod our heels ad-
vanced with hatchets and chopped, in especially narrow
and dangerous places, notches in the ice for our feet to
tread in greater security. We travelled very slowly,
partly to avoid with extremest care the bottomless
chasms, and partly to view the sublime scene. The
rugged mountains far, far higher up above our heads,
and this sea of eternal ice extending far away down and
up the mountain gorge, hundreds of feet in thickness,
the edges piled with huge masses of earth and rocks
and stones that in the lapse of time had broken off from
the mountains' sides and become fastened among the
immovable glaciers, the huge chasms to our right and
left, sometimes with a pass between of only a few inches;
these were awful, but they were thrillingly interesting
to see. I am quite sure I should have returned by the
20*
234 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
same route had I known of what sort was the celebrated
Mayvais pus of which I had read, but of which I was
afterwards surprised to hear tourists speaking as if it
was not greatly to be dreaded. I have never thought of
it since without some shuddering.
"You go ahead, Phil, next to the guide, I'll follow
right on behind. All right, old fellow. Lively times,
ain't they ? "
I looked ahead. A mountain rising almost perpen-
dicularly above me on the side of which I must walk on
narrow steps cut into and running spirally for apparently
six or eight hundred feet over a chasm down which I
dare not look ! How anyone could ever make this pass-
age before the iron railing was fastened against the
mountain, is beyond my understanding. Without it, I
am confident I should have been lost. As it was, hang-
ing with my left hand to the guide's right, I pulled my-
self slowly along with my right upon the railing. An
occasional word from Jim, as if there was nothing espe-
cially remarkable in the situation, and the perfect cool-
ness of the guide were of inexpressible value to me.
"When we reached the firm landing at last, on a small
plain of the Flegere, where the little house called the
Chapeau is situated, I sank down upon the ground ex-
hausted. I had scarcely done so, when Jim brought to
me a glass of brandy and soda.
" Speaking of groceries, and of their ' loose and lucid
ways,' as Jack Moss used to say, it's a fine thing that
there ain't any law against getting a drink here. If
ever I saw a fellow who needed one it's you at this minute.
You've seen her one time, Phil, have'nt you ? "
"One time, Jim, one lime."
He told me afterwards, that although he had felt a
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 235
little ticklish at first, he lost all personal apprehension
in the sight of my condition, and that I should not be
more pale when dead. After purchasing at the Chapecm
a few trinkets which had been made ostensibly from the
various minerals in the mountains, we mounted our
mules that had been brought around, and descended the
Flegere. On the way we met other tourists who were
making the excursion in the reversed direction. As we
approached the narrowest point of one of the ledges,
where the path was not more than four feet wide, I had
occasion to notice the sagacity of the mule. The fore-
most of our party met there the foremost of another,
who was a lady. The mule that bore her stopped as he
met the descending one, and leaned himself closely
against the side of the mountain, and the others in his
train followed his example until all of ours had passed,
after which they straightened themselves and went on
toiling upwards.
" That's what I call sense," said Jim.
The return to Geneva being a descent all the way, was
shorter by several hours than the previous travel. It
was an exalted enjoyment to sit on the lumbering dili-
gence and travel down a spiral declivity of over forty
miles, alternately on the sides of high mountains, and
in ever descending fertile valleys. Early in the after-
noon, we drove at a sweeping trot into Geneva, and had
ample time to visit the jewelry stores, in one of which
(Berguer et Fils) Jim had bargained for a watch for
his wife and some trinkets for his children.
"How do you think Emily will like it, Phil?" said
he, holding up a beautifully-enameled watch and chain.
" She'll be delighted, I am sure."
" She told me not to spend any money on her account,"
236 TWO GHAY TOUEISTS.
"Why do you do it then?"
" Laws, Phil ! Don't you understand women better
than that? She just said that to keep me from spend-
ing too much. She knew that I should'nt think of
going back without carrying some present to her, and
she'd be disappointed if I did'nt. All women are like
old Judge Dooly's wife, some more and some less. The
old judge, who was a wild old fellow, you know, used to
say that when he stayed away a long time on one of his
frolics, and expected a scolding at home, he took pains
to carry to his wife a new set of chainy. He always
would call china, chainy"
Our route northward took us along through the centre
of the province of Ain, so variously picturesque, with
its mountains in the east, its lakes and meadow lands in
the west, passing into Saone-et-Loire near its capital
city, Macon, and along the beautiful banks of the Saone
river to Chalons, and thence into the Cote D'Or.
"This town looks as if it had been here for some
time," said Jim, as we reached Chalons, while the train
halted for some minutes as others, laden mostly with
with wine-casks, were slowly moving up and down in
the change of switches.
"This is the Caballinum of the Aedui. Your old
friend Dumnorix used to cut a high figure all through
this country. Just here, also, was one of Caesar's gran-
aries."
Travelling over the Cote D'Or, we had fine views of
the rich vineyards, which the Burgundy wines, the
Yqem, Vougeot, Chambertin, and others made famous.
The afternoon at Dijon we spent in strolling about the
ancient capital, the semicircular palace of the Dukes of
Burgundy, now degenerated into a town-hall and mu-
seum, and the environs, which are very pleasing.
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 237
" More old walls," remarked Jim ; " but then they
leave room for the town to grow some, not like them at
old Chester. Then these ramparts, with their nice
shade trees, make walking here delightful. Another
thing: a fellow can always tell where he is."
What we had done seldom hitherto, for lack of time,
we dined at the table d'hote. We noticed that by each
person's plate a quart bottle of Burgundy was set. Few
of the guests called for more ; yet scarcely one, even of
the young men, failed to consume his bottle. We had
both gotten to prefer the red wine to the white. That
night we purchased for a trifling sum in one of the
shops a bottle of Chambertin to help out onr morrow's
lunch. At about ten o'clock next morning, we were
again en route for Paris.
"Ain't it a comfort, Phil, to have our faces turned
towards home once more ? I did'nt let you know it, but
I felt mighty homesick as we started on that long jour-
ney to Ohamouni. I begin to breathe freer with my
face turned in this direction. I'm grudging every mile
now between me and old Georgia."
We were in fine health and mood, with a plenty of
what was good to eat, and drink, and smoke, on the
express that flew along in the direction of home. On
either side, as we looked from the windows of our coupe,
the cornfields and vineyards smiled in the sunlight, and
the laborers busily plied their hands or followed their
teams. My old friend, now grown, if possible, more
dear than ever, ran on in his alternations of serious and
sportive conversation, now remarking on the culture
and crops, and general productions of the country,
and how they differed from our own, now with affec-
tionate railing at me for some new evidence of absent-
238 TWO GKAY TOUBISTS.
mindedness or want of interest in present states of
things, and now with tender allusions to our best
beloved, from whom we had received at Geneva cheerful
tidings, winding up with words of gratitude to Provi-
dence who had taken care of all in the period of sepa-
ration. At Sens, in the province of Yonne, I had some-
thing to say about the Senones Gauls, from whom the
city derived its name, their achievements under Bren-
nus, and their final overthrow under Dolabella.
"That what makes you look so old, Phil. You are
always studying about old things, old people, old towns,
and old walls. Sometimes I think, from the way you
make 'em last you, that you rather have an old hat or
an old horse than new. It ain't because you're stingy —
because there ain't a stingy bone in you — but because
they are old. You've been so all your life. And,
speaking of old things," he continued, rising, and taking
down the basket, "let's try a little of this old wine.
Of all the old things in this country that's the one that
suits my fancy the most."
The westward bound travel, the choice lunch, the
Chambertin, the glorious day, the sweet valleys and
hillsides along the Yonne and the Seine, all gave to us
good appetites and spirits, and then we chatted and
smoked, and smoked and chatted in the full enjoyment
of all we saw.
"Oh, Jim!" I exclaimed once, when he had been
running over with the heartiest talk, "you are a glorious
old trump of a fellow. How could I ever have taken
this journey with anybody but you ? "
" Hello ! You breaking out in a fresh place all of a
sudden? Nonsense," and he went on to remarking
how, now that we were in Seine-et-Marne, the vineyards
TWO GKAY TOUKISTS. 239
were becoming less frequent, and pasture lands and
cattle more abundant. When we had passed Fontaine-
bleau, the train seemed to be endeavoring to rival the
wind as it sped along the Seine. The splendid city rose
to our view for many miles before reaching it, and our
hearts beat quicker as we drew nearer and nearer.
CHAPTER XIX,
LTHOUGH it was late in the afternoon when
I we reached Paris, in spite of the long day's
travel, we set ou«t for a walk after tea. Taking
irp the Eue Kivoli, on which, opposite the
Gardens of the Tnilleries, was our hotel (the Menrice),we
soon reached the Place de la Concorde. The myriads of
lights rendered this as well as the Champs Elysses almost
as bright as the day. As we walked along, lingering
occasionally at one of the Cafees Chantants and mingled
among the thousands of passengers on foot, on horse-
back, in carriages with lanterns, returning from or ad-
vancing towards the Arc of Triomph, and heard the
bands of music and the singing girls, we thought how
inadequate had been any descriptions that we had ever
seen or heard to give even an approximation to a just
idea of this the most splendid avenue of the world. Jim
had little to say at first. The theme seemed too vast for
him, somehow.
"This is the place, Phil," said he at length, "where
they had that cussed gulletin, this Place de la Concorde,
as they call it."
" Guillotine, Jim, guillotine."
" I thought it was gulletin. I know it went through
a fellow's gullet in a jiffey."
(240)
TWO GRAY TOUEISTS. 241
"You did'nt think any such thing. How gay, and
how unlike the bloody scenes that have been enacted
upon this spot, now so ineffably beautiful, during the
hundred years from the frightful though unintentional
slaughter of the crowds at the nuptials of Louis XVI to
the battle with the Communists not long ago! How
many of the illustrious of earth, men and women, cleric
and lay, orators, poets, warriors, statesmen, Jacobin and
Gironde, have poured out their blood here ! "
" Everybody's got their time, you know, Phil. Yon-
der's something old enough for you, I take it — that
Egyptian pillar. Fifteen hundred years before our
Saviour. It's the handsomest old thing I've seen yet."
Next morning being Sunday, he said he would like
the best in the world to be able to go to a regular old-
fashioned Georgia meeting, and hear some good old-
fashioned solid singing and preaching from a regular
stated preacher. Sundays made him realize, more than
any other days, that he was away from home.
"Not that I'm so very fond of going to church, for I
ain't half as much so as I ought to be ; but somehow I
feel the necessity of such things over here more than I
do at home."
He got his Bible, went to his room, and after remain-
ing there for about an hour returned and was as cheer-
ful as ever. Again we sallied out on the same route as
the previous night, continuing our walk to the Arc de
Triomph, and, returning on the southern side of the
Champs Elysses, entered the Tuilleries Gardens. At
every few paces wherever we went there were small
booths, in which wine and confections were exposed for
sale. Beneath the trees in the gardens boys and youn^
men were playing at foot-ball and other sports.
21
242 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
"Ain't this a niee way of spending Sunday ? Every
man, woman and child in the town, it seems to me, is on
the streets. Don't anybody here ever go to meeting of a
Sunday?"
"Yes, more than those of any town of its size in the
world. These people you see, the most of them, have
been to church already, some two, some three, and some
as many as five hours ago."
" You don't mean to tell me so ? "
" Yes, indeed. Don't you remember what you saw in
Cologne ? By this time four-fifths at least of the relig-
ious services are over for the day, except for Vespers in
some of the churches this afternoon, and the people are
eut to spend the rest of the day in relaxation. The
churches have been opened ever since before five o'clock
this morning."
"Well, well. I don't think about such things as I
used to — that is, not exactly. Our people make some
mistakes, in my opinion, about keeping Sunday. But
over here they carry it too far 'tother way, it seems to
me. There's reason in everything. All this here, Phil,
looks to me just like a regular Fourth of July instead
of a Sunday. However, it's none of my business. I
did'nt suppose any of these out here had thought about
going to meeting to-day. Curious people. But they
go in strong for what they go in for at all — peace or
war, work or play. It's fight or play with them, which-
ever anybody chooses to have. Gracious! did'nt that
fellow make a good strike with that ball ! Some of 'em
play like, as we say in Georgia, they been playing of
Sundays, sure enough."
Alternately sitting or standing or moving among the
gay throngs in these lovely gardens, our senses reeled
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 248
with the strange multifold sights. But for Jim's occa-
sional homely remarks, I might have suspected myself
to have been dreaming of the scenes of enchantment
which I had been so fond of reading about in childhood.
In the afternoon we walked down the Rue Castiglione to
the Place Vendome. Turning into the Rue des Capu-
chins, we reached the Boulevard Madeleine that led us
to the great temple. We sat on a bench beneath one of
the trees in the Place and looked up towards this the
finest specimen of Greek architecture now in the world.
" I give it up. It beats everything in that line I've
seen yet."
"A proper memorial to the saint."
"What saint?"
" St. Mary Magdalen."
"Is that so?"
" Yes, indeed. She is the favorite of the female saints
with the French. She died in France, you know."
" No, I did'nt know any such thing. I supposed she
died about Bethany, where she used to live."
"No. After the crucifixion she removed with her
brother Lazarus to France and spent the remainder of
her life, which was over thirty years, in the neighbor-
hood of Marseilles. Some of her relics are in this
church."
"You don't mean that Mary Magdalen and Lazarus'
sister Mary were the same person ? "
"I do.*'
" That's news to me. What do they keep relics of her
here for?"
" Why do you keep the lock of your mother's hair ? "
He made no answer for a moment.
"Yes; I suppose it's sorter for the same reason;
maybe a better."
244 TWO GEAY TOURISTS.
At night, the Champs Elysses were, if possible, more
brilliant, and certainly more thronged than the last.
" I never expected, Phil, to see such carryings on of a
Sunday; but it won't hurt you and me, I suppose, to
look at 'em. Their doings, as I said before, ain't any of
my business ; so let's see 'em through."
Having but a week to devote to Paris, we must work
with system and rapidity. Taking a voiture early on
Monday, we travelled slowly down the Rue Rivoli, halt-
ing to notice particularly the most notable places on
the way, as the Tuilleries, Louvre, Tour de St. Jacques,
the Hotel de Ville (rising, like the Vendome Column,
from its ruins), the Place de la Bastille, where the July
Column now occupies the site of the old prison, and
down the world-renowned Faubourg St. Antoine to the
Place de Trdne.
"The blood," said Jim, "the blood that has been
poured out all along the way we have been coming. I've
wanted often to see this— forierg, or whatever you call
it, and the Bastille. I've read a good deal of the history
of these people; and when I get back home, please
God I'm spared to get back, I'm going to read it all
over again now that I'm finding out how these places
stand to one another. At the place where we are now,
Eobespierre and those other rascals had another of those
cussed things to cut off the heads of the fellows in this
end of the town. One was'nt enough to do all that sort
of business. Ain't it curious, too, that like that Con-
corde Place, this one is where, on the great holidays,
they have the fire-works and the big shows ? "
Following the Boulevard Charonne into the Menil-
montant, we alighted before the gate of Pere Lachaise
and spent an hour within it. This cemetery was less
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 215
impressive than I had anticipated. The difficulty, even
with the help of maps, in finding the tombs of specially
noted persons, and their wide separation from one
another, diminished the interest. Jim remarked that
as a matter of curiosity, graveyards were not his favor-
ite, and he was glad to get out. Eesumiug our drive,
we made for Notre Dame on that Isle de la Cite,
Lutetia Parisiorum, "Lutetia the Beloved" of Julian the
Apostate. Although I had been in so many cathedrals,
I did not enjoy less the sight of this. Advancing to the
spot where the great Napoleon had been crowned, we
walked around the interior, musing upon its antiquity,
its monuments, its marvellous windows, its vast organ,
and, calling to mind the great events that had been
enacted there mostly in the name, but some in the
avowed dishonor of Christ. Jim never approached a
shrine before which poor persons, especially poor females
were kneeling, without exhibiting the utmost respect.
" This is all so new to me," he whispered, " and I tell
you it looks becoming. These people pray like they
knew there was something in prayer. Look at that poor
old woman yonder. She has'nt taken her eyes off that
picture of the Virgin since we've been in here. She
has'nt noticed anybody, not even those that have been
standing by where she is kneeling, and looking at and
talking about the picture. Such faith as that is worth
having." I turned and saw an aged crone in tattered
garments kneeling, her withered hands clasped, and her
lips silently moving, before a shrine. As we left the
church, she was in the same attitude.
Crossing the south fork of the river, we lingered at
the Place de Termes, where Julian was proclaimed
emperor by the Gallic legions when the alternative was
gi*
240 TWO GRAY TOURlSTg.
presented of empire or death. A strange career for one
who, the greatest of his race, had been driven back into
paganism by the persecutions of the house of Constan-
tine. His was the saddest career of all kings.
On by the quays Montebello, de Toumelle, and Saint
Bernard, through the Jar din des Plantes, returning
again and passing to the Sorbonne, the Pantheon, and
the Luxembourg. As we rode slowly along, we noticed
the people taking, some dinner, and some lunch, upon
tables on the pavement in front of the numberless
eating-houses on every street.
"These people literally live out of doors, Phil; at
least in the summer time. And the wine, the wine, the
wine they do drink here in one day. Yet we have'nt
seen but one man drunk yet, that fellow in Geneva.
Strange people, always drinking and not getting drunk.
There's a lesson in all this for our big men and good
men at home to study. I can't make it out myself, and
that don't run in my line. About joining temperance
societies, and signing temperance petitions, I'm about
like old Col. Blackford."
"How was that?"
"The old Colonel was a Methodist, you know, and
about the best man in his neighborhood. They had
started a temperance society there and tried to get him
to sign the pledge for the sake of the example, as they
put it. The old Colonel sometimes would take his
morning dram. He told the brethren that he was
seventy-five years old, and that liquor, what little he
had taken, had never done him any particular harm as
he knew of, and that sometimes he felt that he actually
needed a little stimulant. As for the example he said that
his ideas had changed on that subject many a year ago.
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 247
When he was a young man, he was very proud of him-
self, and thought that there was a tremendous amount
of responsibility on him about other people, and that
he ought to try to make everybody quit his foolishness
and do right. But he was like the farmers who some-
times overcropped themselves and got in the grass, and
he found at last that it was about as much as he could
do, and that put him to his trumps many a time, to
take care of himself. So you may go on, you French
people. You can beat us, a hundred times over again,
drinking, one thing and another, but we can whip you
out all hollow in getting drunk. I don't understand it,
and, by good luck, it ain't any of my business. And
here's the place that of all in this town I wanted most
to see."
We had reached the Hotel cles Invalides, the Temple
of Humanity (as it was first named), where France ten-
derly cares for her disabled soldiers. Many of these we
noticed, some walking, others, without legs, rolling them-
selves leisurely along the spacious grounds in their
wheeled chairs, all seeming contented with the care
which their grateful country bestowed for their services
and sufferings. We caught an occasional glimpse of
the white bonnets of the Sisters of Charity, whose busi-
ness it is to nurse the sick in the multitude of invalids
there gathered.
" They know how to take care of their old soldiers
sure," said Jim. " These without legs get more than those
with 'em. That is, they are credited with what their shoes
would cost. Everyone is allowed so much, and what-
ever one can save goes to his credit, and he can lay up a
little something from year to year. What I want to see
most is the place where the old fellow is lying."
248 TWO GRAY TOUEISTS.
It was touching to observe the respect with which he
approached the centre of the noble building, and placing
his hands upon the railing in the circular enclosure,
leaned over, and looked down upon the sarcophagus
which contained the dust of the great Captain. It is a
tomb of exquisite fitness and taste, and it impresses the
visitor even more than anything in Westminster Abbey.
At that, one bows before the majesty of death and his
power to bring into such small compass the mighty
dead of many centuries, and the individual is merged
in the multitude. But here, in the centre of this mag-
nificent structure, in a circle defending by a railing all
from approaching its centre, is the bier of that one hero,
and him alone, and one imagines that he is required to
feel that he stands by the tomb of the greatest of all
times. After we had retired and were again in the voi-
ture, Jim said :
" They had to bring him back there, but they waited
until he had been dead twenty years."
As we passed along the Champ de Mars, we noticed
several companies of infantry drilling.
" Go it, my fine fellows," said Jim. " Somehow, you
did'nt have your hands in at your last fight. You'll
have to try them Germans again some day. You'll
have your hands full, too, but I think you can get even
with 'em. It may not be in our day, Phil. But it will
come. These are a freer people than the Germans, and
love their country better. When they get a man who
knows how to lead, they'll pay 'em back."
As we rode down the Quai B* Or say, we were impressed
by the large number of ill-looking washwomen about
the laundry establishments on the river. Jim said that
at the hotel an Englishman had told him that washing
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 240
clothes was usually the last resort of the abandoned
women of the town.
" When they begin to get old, and are still poor, they
go to the wash-tub for a living, and many of them, when
they can't make it at that, drown themselves in the river."
We crossed at the Pont de la Concorde.
" They seem to go for that name in this neighborhood.
Do you know where the stones in this bridge came from
mostly? Why, from that old Bastille prison. I read
that last night. They've sounded to many a groan."
But a short time after dinner we had for a drive in
the Bois de Boulogne. Besides that the season was
past in Paris, it is not to be admired at any time as
Hyde Park. We had now been going all day, and the
wholesome fatigue invited repose. Yet, we lingered for
an hour or two in the glass-covered court of the hotel,
and talked over what we had seen during the day.
CHAPTER XX,
PROPOSED, next day, visits to the palaces,
especially the Luxembourg and Louvre.
" Now, see here, Phil ; one of the troubles on
my mind before coming to this town was the
fear that I might finish off what part of my neck has'nt
been broke already looking up at old pictures; for I knew
you'd want to see them here, and I thought I should be
afraid to separate from you because I can't speak French.
But I find I can get along with these people better than
I expected. I don't understand a word they say ; but
by talking slow and distinct and with signs one way and
another, I can make them understand in general what I
want. Then I know they can't lose me. I'll travel
around with you for awhile ; but when it gets too bad,
I'm going to quit and peruse on my own hook. But
carry me first to some pictures that I can understand."
''All right. To the Luxembourg."
He was better pleased than he expected to be, and he
admired, equally with myself, such pictures as Appert's
Pope Alexander HI Disguised as a Mendicant, Barrias'
Exiles of Tiberius, Bertrand's Death of Virginia, Cou-
der's Levite of Ephraim, Muller's Prisoners of the Con-
ciergerie, and especially Delaroche's Death of Queen
Elizabeth.
"My Lord!
(250)
he exclaimed, before the last, "I've
TWO GEAY TOUEISTS. 251
heard of pictures being called like life, but this is death
itself."
A wonderful painting, indeed. The expression of those
dying eyes will never be forgotten. They were the eyes
of one who had been a queen to the last, and who, as she
had not rendered mercy, had no expectation of it from
her conqueror.
Jim lingered long enough in the Louvre to be able, as
he said, to tell them that he had been there and taken
in every blamed one of the old masters and left me to
bring up the " drap-shot gang," then we parted with the
understanding that we should meet for dinner at the
Palais Boy ale. On repairing to this spot, I found him
already there. He had become uneasy, he said, about me,
and was afraid that, if I got there before him and did
not find him at once, I might go to loging and prowling
about looking for him and so get lost. And then again,
he was hungry.
After dinner we promenaded for some time amidst the
grounds and shops of this, so long styled, the capital of
Paris. Nowhere in tlw world are to be found such mag-
nificent shops. Sitting under the lime trees, we chatted
long upon the events that in the several generations had
transpired in that historic place, famous beyond all
in the annals of mankind, for orgies, which cried out for
punishment. In the matter of material pleasures, this
area of a few acres has surpassed all others upon this
earth. Epicures and debauchees, plots and conspiracies,
what a long line since the death of the great cardinal !
The princely libertines now resort to more secret haunts,
plotters and conspirators allow other places to divide
honors with this, yet luxury fully maintains its ancient
sway.
252 TWO GKAY TOUKISTS.
It might have been amusing to hear Jim and me
afterwards as each vainly tried to entertain the other
with accounts of what he had seen in the interval of
separation. While I would be enlarging upon some pic-
ture in the Louvre, or some great event enacted in one
or another of its salons, he would be waiting to tell of the
Grhobelin tapestry or the tumult of the Bourse. I had
said, in speaking of the imperious tempers of some of the
women of the house of Medici, that it really seemed as
if they had been sent from hell.
" Hell, you say, Phil ? I've been there or thereabout
to-day. It was at the Bourse. I had heard of the fuss
and confusion there, and wanted to see and hear for
myself. I went first among the buyers and sellers. It
was fun enough there, to see hundreds of fellows scream-
ing and foaming at the mouth. One fellow would
mount into a sort of cage, get on a platform, and bawl
out what he had to sell, and the rest would bawl out
what they were willing to give. At and around another
cage another crowd would be doing the same thing, and
everybody looked as if he wanted to cut everybody else's
throat. I looked up and saw a gallery where whole
crowds were coolly leaning over the balustrade and look-
ing down. I went up there and stood awhile by a big
Irish woman, who was gazing, evidently for the first
time in her life, upon the scene. How she did enjoy it !
From the way the concern is built, or something I don't
know what, the noise that comes up is beyond anything
that my ears ever heard. She laughed and laughed, and
shook her big sides, as if everything that was sold
belonged to her and was bringing the highest sort of a
price. Once in a while she would grunt and say:
" 'And shure it is, all the divils is turned loose.'
TWO GKAY TOUKISTS. 253
"She hit the nail on the head. I felt like, Phil, I tell
you I felt like I was on the brink of the pit and was
listening to the damned roaring with the pain of the
fire and brimstone."
Next day, we took an excursion to Versailles by car-
riage, going by St. Cloud and returning by Sevres. It
was a sweet day, and we drove leisurely along the fine
roads. The great fortresses, notably Valerien, were within
oar view. It was sad to see the desolation in the wooded
scenery that had been wrought all along the way by the
Prussians and the government armies in the siege of
the capital. The ancient Chateau of St. Cloud showed,
even in its ruins, that it had been fit to be the residence
of kings ; and in spite of the dismantled state of Ver-
sailles, we could but wonder even then at the appalling
sums that had been expended in order to make it what
it was. Suites of rooms, a mile in extent, ornamented
with pictures and statues of the best artists, grounds
with terraces, parterres, and orangeries, basins, bosquets,
fountains and quincunces, none but a grand monarch
like Louis XIV, and none but a devoted people like the
French could have created. I cannot say whether Jim
was more entertained by the splendors he saw, or indig-
nant at the enormity of their cost. He had gotten the
figures and made calculations how much beyond the
two hundred millions of dollars of original outlay these
royal luxuries would have cost had no interruption been
made to the design of converting the Eure from its
channel and leading it through the palace grounds.
" Kings," said he, " are an expensive piece of property."
After a nice dinner at the Hotel de Reservoir, we set
out again, and reached Sevres just as the porcelain
works were being closed for the day.
22
254. TWO GKAY TOURISTS.
" Missed 'em," said Jim, " and all for your hanging
around them old pictures, and trying to study out the
outlandish figures on the basins. It makes no difference
though. I'm satisfied. I've seen the place where they
make their chainy, as old Dooly called it."
For this excursion, Jim had secured the services of
his coachman of the day before. His liberality, his
heartiness of manner, and considerateness of others,
enabled him, in spite of the want of understanding of
their tongues, to hold considerable genial communica-
tion with whomsoever he met. He was always bound
to have talk of some sort with his fellow-travellers. He
had chosen our present companion because of his knowl-
edge of a few English words. So, remembering, how-
ever, always to be " slow and distinct," he spoke without
restraint to him whenever he wished, persisting until he
had made some sort of understanding. Once, as we
were driving along, noticing a dog in the way, he cried
out:
"Coachee."
" Oui, monsieur."
"Dog there. Dog."
" Oh, oui, monsieur."
" Your Commune eat dog."
" Pardon, monsieur ? "
Jim opened his mouth, and acted as if he was putting
something into it, and chewing it.
"Eat, eat. Commune. Dog."
"What a face he did make !
"Non, non monsieur; non chien? Non; trop mau-
vais — too bard — Nous mangeons — chat ; chat bon — non
chien ; non dog. Non — non ! "
"Shar? What's that?"
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 255
"Cat, Jim, cat."
"Oui, monsieur; cart"
"Not cart, my man. Cart's another thing altogether.
Cat. He'd do, would he? but you could'nt come the
dog?"
" Non, non, monsieur."
" But they did get to dogs at last, Phil, or at least a
few. You know the reason why they did'nt eat 'em all ? "
" Too bad, I suppose, as the coachman said."
"No, sir. They could'nt catch 'em. I've read in a
paper somewhere, that when at last they got down to
the dogs, the poor creatures actually held one or two
meetings, and the first thing anybody knew, they were
all gone. I suppose they passed resolutions not to be
eat up if they could help it. When the siege was broke,
and a plenty of good victuals got in, here came back
the dogs as thin as snakes, creeping out of all sorts of
ont-of-the-way places, some even from holes in the
ground. Just to think of two millions of people, as
fond of good eating as these are, to be shut up in this
town for months, and have to eat cats, and even dogs —
and hard to get 'em at that."
The next three days were spent in visiting what was
possible to see of the most noted things, travelling some-
times together, sometimes apart. Jim had managed
to gather a great amount of information concerning
what he called the live things of the town, while I was
searching among the dead. He studied the quays, the
system of sewerage, and other generally controlling-
interests. Most of all, he admired the charitable insti-
tutions.
"It's perfectly wonderful, Phil, the numbers and the
different kinds of 'em. The poor are provided for here
256 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
better than they are in London. I should'nt have be-
lieved it, bnt it's so. Some of these houses built for 'em
they call hospices and some hospitals, and some a whole
lot of outlandish names that I can't pronounce. There
are some for old married people, and some for old widows,
and some even for old widowers, and some for old bache-
lors, and some for old maids, and some for old preachers,
and some for children. There are dozens of what we
would call nurseries, where poor women who have to
work out put their children in the day and take 'em
home at night. There is'nt any kind or form of sick-
ness or want that they have'nt places here where it can be
taken care of. And as for these Sisters of Charity and
the other names they've got, there don't seem to be any end
of them. Then they have what I should call travelling
hospitals. They have physicians who visit the sick'
poor at the public expense. They give the poor bath-
tickets and such ; and they hire nurses from the country
who take sick children home with 'em and keep 'em till
they get well. I did'nt expect this; I thought what
they went for over here mostly was finery and pleasure.
As it is, I find that they are or appear to be the most
charitable people I've seen yet. The French are a great
people, not only in big things, but in little. Travelling
does away with a heap of prejudice, at least when a fel-
low keeps his eyes open and looks around. Don't it,
Phil?"
" Indeed it does."
" Now, there's that Foundling Hospital, started by St.
Vincent de Paul, they call him, two hundred years ago.
it beats all. I declare it's enough to make a man cry, to
see what care is taken of these poor children of sin.
Then what I've noticed and found out about their going
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 257
to meeting beginning at day -break, that struck me as
much as anything else. I've seen 'em myself pouring out
of a church when it was just daylight by hundreds, rich
and poor, and another crowd pouring in right after 'em
to another meeting. I had an idea that these priests
were taken up mostly with good eating and such. The
truth is, Phil, a man's a goose for condemning people
and things that he knows nothing about."
The day came for us to leave, and we were both glad
that we had chosen Paris the last place for visiting.
" It's a good rule, Phil, to save the best for the last —
that is, if a fellow don't go and do like Bob Minton and
eat so much meat and greens as to leave no room for pie
and custard. If we'd seen Paris before the little places
that we've been in, we should'nt have taken much interest
in them. Take Brussels for instance. Brussels, it's plain
to me, tries to be like Paris. I liked it mightily when
I was there; but if I was to go there now I should be
constantly thinking for awhile how much smaller it is
than what it wants to look like. "We've seen 'em all
now, little and big, or as many as we had laid out to
see, saving the best for the last, and now I'm ready for
home."
We left after a too early breakfast ; but then we knew
we could make up with a good, quiet dinner on the boat
which we were to take at Dieppe at one o'clock in the
afternoon. We looked back towards the glorious city as
long as we could see it. The last object of our sight
was the great Arch.
" Far-you-well," said Jim, "all of you— Bonapartes
and Bourbons, presidents and Frenchmen generally.
I'm glad I've seen you one time. Far-you-well, I'm
going now to see them that I think more of than all of
22*
258 TWO GEAY TOURISTS.
yon. They ain't — that is, in the special — they ain't bnt
one good, in fact splendid woman and a parcel of— well,
just good, common children ; but I'd rather see them now
than forty Parises and four hundred Arches of Triumph
and forty thousand million of — let's try the weed."
We turned our faces onward. The country of the
Oise et-Seine, though not naturally fertile, yet rejoiced
with market gardens, and afterwards, in Seine Inferieur,
with fields and pasture lands. The wheat in Normandy
was now all cut and standing in yellow shocks.
" This is the Rotrimagus of the ancient Gauls, Jim,"
I said, as we passed through Eouen.
"Indeed? All I remember about this town is the
burning of that poor Joan of Arc by the English, and a
mean piece of business it was."
" That it was, and it was not long after the horrible
outrage that the rule of that people passed away from
this country."
When we went on the boat, Jim asked the captain
how long it would be before dinner,
"I car n't say quite yet," answered he, looking out at
the white-caps of the sea waves, and walking away.
"That sounds suspicious. What in the mischief are
all these bowls doing here on deck, Phil ? Why, here's
ft least a dozen under these benches, and see yonder, the
; :e\vardess is bringing up some more."
I had no idea for what purpose they were there.
Pifty or sixty passengers were with us, mostly Ameri-
cans and English. We were delighted to hear again
from all tongues our native speech. All were so gay.
Several gentlemen were standing near the bridge when
the steamer moved off. We had not proceeded more
, than a knot, when suddenly a sea dashed from leeward,
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 259
and the spray drove ns quickly aft. None seemed to
have had any expectation of sea-sickness. But it was
not fifteen minutes before the stewardesses were running
about with the bowls in their hands and setting them
down by ladies who had been taken so suddenly as not
to be able to repair to the cabin or even to reach the
railing.
"Well, don't this beat anything— eddy— eddy—
thig — " but Jim could'nt make it out. He managed to
get to the railing, but he was soon upon his knees, and
finally, holding on with one hand, lay on his side. The
chopping sea tossed the little boat, as a cork in a shal-
low running stream. All the suffering from sea-sickness
that we had witnessed on the Atlantic was less violent
than that endured in the few hours' passage from Dieppe
to New Haven. Ill as I was, I felt seriously concerned
for Jim, and especially for the women, who seemed to
have abandoned themselves to despair. Some lay on
the deck, others in the cabin, and rolled, and cried out,
and actually howled with the agony of nausea. In their
tossing, the clothes of some of them became sadly dis-
arranged; but there were none to criticise or to care.
The relief, when we reached New Haven, was as instan-
taneous as the attack. Having partaken hastily, but
heartily, of coffee and bread at the buffet, we were again
upon the cars.
"I never should have believed it," said Jim. "I
did'nt know that a fellow could have the cussed thing
twice. It gets worse the oftener it takes you. What
time it lasted, I do believe I was worse off than on the
Atlantic. I felt like I was going to turn inside out,
blamed if I did'nt. But some of those poor women
were worse off, if possible, than I was. One of 'em,
260 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
and she was a good-looking one at that, was lying just
behind me, and in rolling herself about, she kicked me
on the back of my head several times. I did'nt let on,
and I did'nt care. For my misery, as old Jim Williams
said, was all innards, and it would have taken harder
things than a sick woman's heels to hurt me on the out-
side. And did'nt they howl ? I don't think I exactly
howled, but I done some tall barking. But that hot
coffee was good. I hid three cups of it, and ain't it
nice now ?
" Oh, de long time ago,
I'm a rollin' ! "
As the train dashed along, he broke forth into this
favorite old corn song.
I could not but almost envy that hearty, ingenuous
nature which, though with the tenderness of a child
ready to yield to suffering of whatever kind, was as
quick to mount into joyousness when it was past. How
he did rattle along in the sudden relief from seasickness,
being again among English-speaking people, and home-
ward bound. He said he was really hongry for old
Georgia talk, and declared that, if he had a chance, he
believed he could make a speech.
"All I want now, sir, is a subject and an audience."
" I'll be the audience, Jim."
"Ain't big enough, and ain't appreciative enough.
But will the audience, such as it is, start me off with a
little applause?"
"Certainly," and I clapped my hands loudly and
shouted huzzas.
" Give me a subject then. Be quick about it, while
the sperrit's on me."
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 261
" Oh, anything. Take Southdown sheep, for here we
are now passing over the great Sussex downs."
"All right. These celebrated sheep — my client — gen-
tlemen of the jury — how'll that do ? "
"Won't do."
" Brethering and sisters — "
" Worse and worse."
" Eespected audience,"
"Eight; proceed. Hear, hear."
" Make the rest of it yourself, confound you. If you
had'nt put me out at the start I should have delivered a
speech that would have made your hair stand and the
goose bumps come out all over you."
"Oh, you Jim! You dear old Jim Eawls! You
absurd, glorious, darling old scamp ! "
"Oh, de long time o' day
I'm a rollin'."
"Mrs. Eawls is right about your voice, Jim. You
have a — you have a plenty of voice."
"Ah, Philemon, my friend, nobody knows, the same as
that judgmatical woman, what this world and society in
general lost by me not being sent to a singing school
when a boy."
" You always loved the corn-song. So did I. It is a
strange music, but often very touching, not only in
chorus, but in solo. Most of the airs, I doubt not, are
national. That sort of music, you know, is peculiar to
peoples who have had no foreign admixture. Thus, the
Greeks had it, the Eomans not ; the Scotch and the Irish
have it, the English not. Of course, Americans, white
Americans, made from more elements than were in the
image of Nebuchadnezzar, have it not. I have been told
26$ TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
that since the war the negroes have given up much of
theirs."
"Yes, sir, three-fourths of it, if not more. In old
times one could seldom pass a field where they were at
work without having a song of some sort from one or
more of them."
" What, in your opinion, are the causes of the change?"
" Their minds have not now the leisure. Instead of
having their thinking done by their owners, they now
have to do it for themselves."
" How do you regard the prospects before them ? "
"That's the toughest problem that the American
people have yet had on their hands. The good Lord
only knows how it is to be worked out; no man does.
The negroes increase by births about as fast as the
whites, but there are many more deaths among them.
The difference will be greater as the country fills with
population and the price of land gets higher. Land is
so cheap now that they get an easy living ; after a while
things will be very different."
" Why, I have heard that a good many of them own
lands."
" The tax books and the newspapers say so."
"But is it not true?"
" Quite a number in Middle Georgia (that's the only
section I can speak about) have entered on lands for
which they have bonds for titles. Many have made the
first payment, some the second, a few, a very few, have
gone further than that. The great majority never have,
and never will. They have not the prudence, and their
families have not the economy to lay up beyond a living
on their yearly crops. If there is a people specially to
be pitied, they are the negroes of the South. It is sad
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. £63
to see a people, affectionate and grateful as they are, find-
ing it more and more difficult to get what the most
reasonable and the least ambitious among them hoped
for immediately after their emancipation."
"You think they are a grateful people ?""
" Eemarkably so ; that is, the old set, when not inter-
fered with and fooled by rascally politicians, black and
white. I wish that the education which we are giving
them in Georgia (for you know that public provision in
that respect is the same for them as for the whites), I
say I wish it would do them more good, instead of lead-
ing the most of them who get it to wish to be public
characters, as politicians, preachers and other church-
officials, school-teachers, etc. I tell you it is a tough
business, the negro problem is. I don't like to try to
argue it, and its because I don't know how. But in
that, Phil, I'm like Sam Spivey, when after being
whipped at school about twenty-five times for not get-
ting the multiplication table, Pete Strieker asked him
if he knew how much seven times nine was, and what
was the difference between that and nine times seven,
he said, no he did'nt, and he did'nt believe there was
anybody in the world that did."
For some time the darkness had been hindering views
of this county and Surrey. We were in London in time
for a good dinner at 8t. James' f Piccadilly.
CHAPTER XXI,
UK engagements were to return on the Servia,
which was to sail the coming week. We had
planned a three days' visit to the English
lakes and Ireland, arranging to meet the
steamer at Queenstown. So, lingering but a day in
London, and that mostly for making other purchases of
presents for our friends at home, we took the morning
train on the Great Northwestern Kailway for Liverpool.
"Gardens, gardens; orchards, orchards," exclaimed
Jim, when we were out of Middlesex, and far on the
way in Hertfordshire. "It takes gardens upon gardens,
and orchards upon orchards to supply that same village
of London. The things, the things that go into its
great maw. But it's a rich little country around it, and
these people know what to do with it. Here we are
nearly through two counties, and everything that is
made in 'em goes to feed London, people or horses.
What a curious name this little town has : Tring."
" Tring ? Tring ? That's where Nell Gwynne lived."
"You mean that piece that one of those old kings
made so much of ? "
"Yes; Tring-Park House was a fine mansion that
Charles II had built for her."
"But all he did could'nt keep her from the end that
(264)
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 265
such people are bound to come to. 'Don't; let poor
Nellie starve: ' that showed that the old fellow had some
heart, at least on his death-bed."
Into Buckinghamshire, the vale of Aylesbury now
on our left, and the Chiltern Hills, extending into Bed-
fordshire, on our right. In Northamptonshire, the
fields grew larger, and we admired those fertile pasture-
lands on which are raised sheep, short-horned cattle,
and especially the famous immense black horses.
" Rich people live along here, Phil, I should say, from
the looks of their mansions and parks. Weedon. Weedon.
Another curious name."
" We are now, my friend, in what was the country of
the Mercians, and Mulphere, their king, had his princi-
pal royal seat in this very town. There was another in
Tamworth ahead of us."
" I'm thankful it was'nt the Eomans. I've got right
considerable tired of the Eomans since I've been over
here, Phil, and it's a relief to me to see you gradually
coming down from their times."
"You have some rather unpleasant reminiscences, I
think I've heard you say, connected with studying their
language some years ago. Would it be too much for
your feelings if I were to tell you that we had been
travelling all day along by the side of a celebrated
Roman road ? "
" I would try to bear it for the sake — of your family.
I've had to put up with a good deal from you since we
left home. But make it short. Old Dumnorix never
got up this far, did he ? "
"Dumnorix was no Roman. He was an Aeduan,
man."
"It makes no difference. I remember he had a heap
23
%G6 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
to do with Latin. I took him to be a tremendously
smart old fellow, for he said a many a thing that I
could'nt understand."
"Why, he could' nt speak Latin at all. Don't you
remember what Caesar says in the conference about
" interpretiMis remotis f "
"Excuse me, if you please. Well, sir, if Dumnorix
was'nt here, and if he did'nt travel along this road, I'll
be blamed if T know who did."
"Watling street again; the modern name of Strata
Vitelliana, in honor of the Emperor Vitellius."
"Why, that's as bad as the Weeklies of Hancock
county. Sixty years ago they came there, spelling
their name V-o-i-c-l-e. It got to be, first, Voicly, then
Woickly, then Wickly, then Weekly. But I don't want
to interrupt you. Go ahead, and follow old Watlirtg as
far back as she'll take you."
"No, sir. Between Dumnorix the Aeduan, and the
Weeklies of Hancock, my mind is rendered incapable of
further pursuit in that direction."
" Rugby Station ; five minutes," sang out the porters,
as they swung open the carriage doors.
Jim stepped out just to have it to say that he had
been where Tom Brown used to stay. When he returned,
and we were off again, he made some reflections.
"A great book, Phil, that Tom Broivn at Rugby, and
a great teacher, Dr. Arnold. He had sense, that Arnold ;
a thing that ain't so very common with school-masters
as far as I've known that tribe of folks. I'm not talking
about looks now, mind you, but sense. Dr. Arnold had
sense. That was a curious old doctrine of school-mas-
ters of dealing with school-boys as if the whole kit was
one solid lump, and had to be handled in a lump. The
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 267
bother with school-masters often is that they don't seem
to see any difference in boys. They can't, or they wont
trust any one boy more than another. There seems to be
something in school -keeping that confuses a man's
senses, and makes him mix up things generally. Even
if one starts right, it ain't long before he's in the groove,
making his rules that take in everybody, and that
nobody can follow. Now, Arnold had sense enough to
see that there's a difference among boys as there is
among men, and that they've got to be treated according
as they are gentlemen or rascals. Tom Brown shows
that. I took to Arnold as soon as I heard somebody
say that he had made one boy give another who deserved
it a thrashing. It made me read the book, blamed if it
did'nt."
"You've always been a pugnacious fellow, Jim. If
you are not in a fight yourself, you like to hear of one."
"Not at all. Fighting is a business that don't pay,
and I've done monstrous little of it. Yet my opinion
is that when it's necessary, you've got it to do, and when
you get into it, you ought to do your level best to whip
it. Sometimes a fellow lias to fight, or show that he
will fight, and that's often the best way to keep from
fighting. Now, the old school- masters had a fool-rule
about fighting, that whoever fought, no matter what it
was about, or who began it, or who whipped, or who
got whipped, had to be whipped by them afterwards.
And they had many another no better. I'd like to know
why it is that school-masters, as a general rule, have so
little common sense ? "
"If they have, it is because society thus requires or
used to require of them. Society seems to believe, espe-
cially in the case of boys, that their sons need an ordeal
268 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
of mean treatment and unreasonable management which
they themselves are unwilling to take the trouble to
inflict; and they are forced to devolve the business upon
others, who, often unfit for any other, are willing to
undertake that. Such an occupation separates them, to
a degree, from the rest of the world, and they lose the
important knowledge which comes from contact with
mankind. Their associations are only, or mostly, with
boys, and upon such terms as are naturally provocative
of mutual hostility. The school is a little temporary
absolute monarchy during a brief period, and that the
most uninteresting in the life of a human being ; known
to be such by both teacher and pupil. The brief ruler's
safety seems to him to consist in exacting every possible
subservience, and the pupil's enjoyment is in rendering
as little as possible consistently with his escape from
punishment. Then, some parents desire a rigid rule,
and some a mild. The schoolmaster, who seldom thinks
he can afford to lose any of his pupils, tries to steer as
well as he can between the two, assume to be rigid when
he is mild, and mild when he is rigid. Then again the
ceaseless routine of the same things, and generally small
things, the habit of mind of moving everlastingly in
circles, and small circles, at that, tend to belittle. In
society the schoolmaster does not always seem to know
what position he ought to take, because his own life
knows of but two — the head and the foot. His deport-
ment, therefore, is often a sort of compound of dictato-
rialness and subserviency. Arnold was a man who had
strength enough to understand all such. He was a
man of common sense, as you say, and governed his school
as he governed his own family.
" You are right, sir. Now, my son, Buck, when he
TWO GRAY TOUKISTS, 269
came out of college, took a notion to keep a school awhile.
I said nothing against it, though I had an idea that that
business would'nt suit one of my tribe. The first time
Buck came home to see us, when they had a holiday, I
noticed that he was often bringing up Latin words in
his talk. I happened to look in his hat one day and saw
the lining all written over with little sentences from the
Latin Eeader. And then he would be frequently catch-
ing up his mother and the rest, except me, in their
words. I told Buck if he did'nt mind he'd make a fool
of himself. Old Buck quit the business and went to
work on the land I had ready for him, and, though I say
it, he's a fellow of sense and doing well. That business
did'nt suit Buck, or Back did'nt suit the business, I
don't know which."
" It is a difficult business, certainly. The best way to
govern boys, I think, is to leave much of their govern-
ment to themselves. Constant watching, I think, is a
great mistake. Boys are like men — the better you treat
them the better they'll be. It is difficult for a man to be
a detective and a gentleman at the same time, and none
but a gentleman ought to be intrusted with the guidance
of youth, especially sons of gentlemen. In late years
changes are being made, some of them much for the
better in the discipline of schools and in the relations of
school-masters with other people."
That night, at the Adelphi, we saw several Americans,
some of whom we had met before in our travels, who
were there preparing to return by the Bothnia, which
was to sail on the next day but one.
" Just to think of it," said Jim ; " these fellows will
all be nigh home at the time we start. By the way, Phil,
about those lakes up there, are they such great things ? "
23*
270 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
I replied that they were not large, and not so pic-
turesque as those in Switzerland, but certainly were
jewels in their way and worth seeing. I rather expected
him to say more upon this subject, but he did not, until
we had gotten to bed.
"Phil, they say this out-going ship is one of the
stoutest of the line, and that McMickin is the cleverest
of all the captains. I wonder we did'nt find that out
before engaging return passage on the Servia"
" Is that so ? " I replied quickly.
He laughed.
" What are you laughing at ? "
" I'm laughing because I see, you old hypocrite, that
you are as anxious to go home as I am."
" Would you really like to go by this ship, Jim ? "
"Would you?'
" What about the English lakes and Ireland ? "
" Oh, they, especially the lakes, were your programme.
They're none of my business. However, it's no use talk-
ing: the ship's full."
" Don't you suppose — " I paused.
" Suppose what ? "
"Nothing."
" Well, suppose I do suppose."
" Well, sir, suppose away ; I'm willing."
He jumped out of bed, rang the bell, and ordered a
bottle of champagne.
" It's too good, Phil, to go to sleep on right away. I
was just a waiting to see what you wanted to do. It
would have killed me to see those fellows start home a
week before us, but I would'nt let on, and did'nt intend
to until I saw how you looked to-night when they were
talking about home. I saw you were as bad off as I was."
TWO GEAY TOUEISTS. 271
"And have you been homesick, Jim ? "
"Nigh unto death."
He almost shouted with laughter, while his eyes shed
tears.
" I did'nt know it, Jim."
" Of course you did'nt, and I should'nt have let you
know it if I had'nt seen that you at last were in for it,
too."
" But you say the ship's full."
"Never you mind about that; I'll fix that or die a
trying."
The next day about eleven o'clock he returned from
the Cnnard office with our tickets exchanged, saying he
had obtained for us the officers' quarters.
Captain McMickin was all that he had been repre-
sented. In the quiet but vigorous and efficient discharge
of his duties, and his courteousness to passengers of
every condition, there cannot be, I believe, his superior
on any line of the Atlantic steamers. At Queenstown
about one hundred and fifty steerage-passengers came on.
Among* them was a young man who played remarkably
well on the accordeon. "When we had been out three or
four days and all were well over seasickness, they, on fine
afternoons, commenced to have on deck dances and
games, in which the sailors, when off duty, joined. Our
eagerness, as we drew nearer home, was softened by the
sight of the simple enjoyments of these poor emigrants.
Even the aged among them, whose anguish we had
noticed at Queenstown, when they had parted, knowing
it to be forever, from their friends and native country,
were led at last to look smilingly on as the young men
and girls tripped it to the accordeon's notes, or won and
lost at other sports and took and paid their forfeits.
272 TWO GEAY TOURISTS.
As we neared the shore, we became more and more
eager to reach it, and it was as if we had met a dear
friend who had been long absent when the pilot came
on board. Jim said that this officer looked so natural
that he felt like asking him about Emily and the chil-
dren, blamed if he did'nt. He eagerly seized the New
York papers and devoured them.
" Oh, it's so homelike : it makes home come all over me
in big spots to be reading one of our own papers. I
want to make 'em last, you see, Phil. I'm going to read
every line in 'em. I'm like old man Sentry about the
Southern Recorder. It came always on a Wednesday,
and he made it last till the next Tuesday night. It was
the only paper he took. He'd always begin at the begin-
ning, * The Southern Recorder is published at Millidge-
ville, Georgia, etc.,' and then on to the rates of advertis-
ing. He read slow and loud, and when he got tired he'd
make a cross mark where he left off and begin there the
next time he took up the paper. He would' nt get to the
news till about Saturday, and Monday and Tuesday he'd
wind up with the advertisements. That's the way I'm
doing with these old Heralds. I tell you that paper's a
book. These advertisements get me. Here's women that
Want somebody to come and suckle their children, and
women that want to suckle other people's children, and
women that want to get acquainted with men, and men
that want to get acquainted with women, with different
vieivs, as they call it, as matrimony, pleasant society,
mutual improvement, and all such, but all of 'em views
of devilment of some sort, I don't doubt. Oh, the (lif-
erent kinds of devilment that are in such a place as New
York. However, there's a plenty of ifc everywhere, as to
that," and he would turn again to the paper.
TWO GRAY TOUEISTS. 273
Next morning, I was roused from sleep by his shout-
ing, " Hail, Columby ! " He was fully dressed, and had
come down from the deck where he had been to see the
land, now in full view.
" ' Come, arouse thee, arouse thee, my brave Swiss boy,
Take thy pail and — '
"Come up and see your native country once more.
I've been looking at her for an hour. I would'nt wake
you, because I knew that when you're taking your morn-
ing nap, as you call it, you don't care a continental for
your native country, your family, your friends, nor any-
body, nor anything else in this wooden world. But it's
breakfast time any how. So, fall to rising, fall to rising."
As we n eared the landing, he again joined heartily in
the waving of hats and handkerchiefs, and kissing of
hands to those on shore.
" Blame it all, Phil, they're my countrymen, and I'm
glad to see them whether they are so to see me or not."
While we were standing at Jersey City waiting for
the south-bound train to start, I asked him if he did
not intend to send a telegram to his family.
"No. It would have to go by mail from Augusta,
and besides, would scare Emily half to death. We
seldom use the telegraph in my neighborhood, except in
case of death, or some other bad or urgent news, and a
despatch always scares whoever gets it."
"Then there's something in operating an agreeable
surprise/'
"That there is, you bet. Phil, do you know, sir, I
feel much like I did the day I started to my wedding,
blamed if I don't ; only I'm surer in my mind now than
I was then that all's right."
274 TWO GRAY TOURISTS.
The few hours that we were together before reaching
the place of my residence, were spent now in retrospect-
ing upon the various scenes over which we had travelled,
and now in my listening to my companion's descantings
upon Georgia. I found (what, indeed, I had all along
believed) that the things which had impressed me
mostly, had been much more interesting to him than he
had before admitted, and that his apparent disregard of
them had been assumed, partly from playfulness, and
partly to subdue my too fond proneness for those that
were antiquated. I am free to say that I found also that
his observations had been more accurate and his reflec-
tions far more profound than my own both upon the
past and present conditions of the peoples amongst
whom we had been. Among many other things, he
said:
" I'm glad we made this journey, Phil, and I try to
be thankful to the good Lord that He let us make it in
safety. Seeing foreigners in their own homes has done
away with some big mistakes I've been making all of
my life. I find that other people are as sensible as ours,
as brave, as honest, as patriotic, and as religious. Travel
is the thing to knock the bottom out of a fellow's pride
and his prejudices. Yet all this don'fc keep me from
being thankful, more so than before, if anything, for
being born, and raised, and let live where I was."
Then he talked at length upon Georgia, its climate,
its comparative freedom from exclusive knots in its
social existence, its adaptability to generous production,
not only of the grains and cotton, but of many of the
fruits of the tropics, as well as those of more northern
latitudes. He spoke heartily of the persistent industry
with which the people had striven to repair the losses
TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 275
caused by the war, and how in spite of some miscalcula-
tions and disappointments, general improvement was
always existing, and lately becoming more and more
clearly apparent.
" What we want down there, Phil, more than anything
else, is for some of these Northern people to come among
us, buy the land we no longer need in such quantities
as before the war, and settle on it, and, by gracious, be
of us. Many of them, J know, think we don't like
them, but they are mistaken. We would be glad to
have them, not only as citizens, but as neighbors, that
is, of course, such as are fit to be either. There are
thousands of plantations (I have several myself) with
good dwellings and out-houses on them, that can be
bought at from four to ten dollars per acre. Three
thousand dollars will buy a good plantation of five hun-
dred acres, which a man who is sensible and industrious,
with the crops made on it, can pay for in two or three
years, besides supporting his family, and live in a house
that costs more than that money. Or, with five or six
hundred dollars paid down, he can get as long payments
as he wants for the balance of the purchase-money."
Other things he said on this line, and about the
negroes and their relations with the whites that were
deeply interesting to me. He regards the condition of
the negro, compared with those of the other races, as
one of childhood, childhood ungrowing, and incapable
to become adult. He is dependent upon the white man,
like a child is dependent upon a father, capable to be
led to good, liable to be led to evil, according as his
guide is sensitive or not to the behests of his relation.
Observations of results of emancipation have served to
make stronger this opinion. While these, after recover-
276 TWO GRAY TOURISM.
ing from the first prostration wrought by sudden revo-
lution, hav3 been beneficial to the white man, they have
saddened the negro by the evidences they have given of
his incompetency for the most important exigences of
his being. In this depression, his chief support is the
conviction that his white neighbors in the main, so far
from wishing his return to the condition of servitude,
would never consent to it; that they compassionate his
unalterable dependence, and are willing to do whatever
they can, while minding their own, to help in all the
development that is within reach of his powers. To
cheat at all is a vice ; but in Georgia to cheat a negro is
regarded as about the meanest of which white men are
capable.
Such and similar conversations that, during several
weeks, we had had, led me to remark how experience in
a long, energetic, honorable career had ripened his judg-
ment and made ever nobler his spirit. Our very last
talks I could not, if I would, rehearse. It was in vain
I tried to induce his tarrying with me even for a night.
My life-long friend, always loved and trusted, showed, I
thought, that he felt as I, that after a journey, long to
men at our age, we were knitted together, if possible,
more closely than before. When the time of separation
came, we took hands, and with trembling voices and
moist eyes, said good-bye. And I could not but yearn
as I looked after him journeying on alone.
[the end.]
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